????

Song Of The Day - Dashboard Confessional - Hands Down (Full band)
Currently Feeling - melancholy
This Day In History - No Movement In Blog

Well yesterday I wasn't feeling too well. I took a nap and afterwards I took a nap and then went to Cousins. I hung out for about an hour but then Tawni started closing up and Paul was helping so I didn't want to intrude so I got some gas then went to Adam's. I hung out at his house for a little then we went to the Hampton to see what's up with Dusty. We went to get some sodas at the store then we went to Jason's house. We hung out there for a while, then I got real sick and tired. So after I woke up I took Adam and Dusty home and felt like throwing up out of the window....

I feel much better today, and the plan is......if I can get a hold of Vicky I'll see if she wants to see a movie.....if that pans out then I have a free day yet again.

Random Things.....

Hmm....the party was cool, I was pretty talkative before the sickness came back. But the "problem" is still there.

Still Not There

Song Of The Day - Frank Sinatra - Fly Me To The Moon
Currently Feeling - OK
This Day In History - No movement in my blog

Well yesterday was a kickback day for me. The plan was for Jason to get out of track at around 3:30, then we make the steak, and give some to Tawni by 4:30....Well Jason got back at 4:15. I sped my way over to get there as fast as possible. I give him 2 steaks to make while I go make a run to fry's to get another steak. I found this nice looking steak for Tawni and I rushed back to Jason's. The gas grille was empty so we had to warm up the charcoal. So we did and we talked while we waited. Then something he said made me change my state of mind suddenly but I'd rather not say. So the steaks were made and we decided to eat first since I knew Tawni couldn't wait for the steak. Let's just say the steak was real good. Not as good as my dad's but way better than Frank or Adam's. After we ate we drove over to Cousins and gave Tawni her steak. It gets kinda sketchy after that. I was kind of quiet and that led Tawni to say that I was gonna go home and blog about how I was left out of the conversation. Well that wasn't what I was feeling and I got kinda upset about that comment for a little bit until I got over it. We then went back to Jason's and hung out there for a while. Steph came around 9 and we all hung out til 10. I got kinda tired and I didn't want to hang out anymore for that nite so I called it a nite.

The plan for today is...I don't know. I guess peeps are going over to Jason's to spend the nite but I'm not sure yet if I wanna go. I'm also hopefully planning on calling Vicky and seeing if she wants to hang out....

3 Day Weekend

Currently Feeling - Good
This Day In History - I started trying to hook up Jason and Lesly....hmmm how different would things be if I was able to make it happen......Let's just say I wouldn't have as much fun hanging out with Lesly and her friends compared to Steph and her's......

Well today was alright but seemed long. Journalism we had a fire drill and then just did this paper. In college prep everyone was absent. Adam, Frank, Tawni and me worked in a group....Photo I slept all period long, Calc we worked in groups and got a take home quiz.....Anyways the plan for today goes as follows. Gonna go over to Jason's and have some steak....then were gonna go to Cousins so that I can give Tawni some steak for dinner.....I'm a little scared cuz I've made improvements to return to the old me but yeah I dunno I'm a little worried.....Then I'm guessing Jason is gonna ditch me for Steph, so I dont' know what I'm gonna do after that.

Things Returning To Normal? Maybe, Hopefully, We'll see...

Song Of the Day - RX Bandits - Mastering The List
Currently Feeling - Pretty Darn Good
This Day In History - Went Driving For A little bit, then I went to a robotics meeting....

Well sorry for the very brief blog yesterday. I was tying in college prep with Tawni and Frank kept looking over so I stopped writing. ummm well as I said I talked to Tawni on the phone a couple days ago. It was really good because that was the first time I called her in 3 weeks......yeah to say things have been different with us for the past few weeks is an understatement but I think that the weirdness is dissapearing. Anyways we talked for a while, and I tried to get her to work on her essay but she wouldn't listen so I told her to go to sleep.

Yeah today I got to interview Mr. Ashby. It was cool talking to him, I was gonna talk to him about something but I decided not to. Then in college prep I was just helping Tawni with her paper since I finished mine. hmmm....calculus is getting hella hard......afterschool we met up at Adam's. And I got some chicken then we we went to BK. Then we just chilled there til Adam had to go to work. I then went home and helped my mum with some papers then I went over to Jason's. I watched him play video games while we were listening to my "saves the day" cd. We picked up Frank and we went to Cousins and we hung out for a little bit. Cousins seemed natural to me like it did during the old days, so yet another good sign that things are coming back to normal. I went back to Jason's house and we watched the Cards game while doing calc homework. we started talking about the future and college and I'm a little worried about that, only because I wonder who I'm gonna still talk to and who I'm not. I mean it's less than a year away.....but I choose not to think about it. I went home around 8 and I'm chilling right now......

Random Things....

I beat Adam to regain the rights to the "red baron" phone tone....I just don't get the whole thing Adam has with it.

Chivalry is Dead

Currently Feeling - Good
This Day In History - I passed my Driver's liscence Test....finally. Oh and I went to Subway

Well last nite, I talked to Tawni on the phone for a while. I ate dinner then I called Tawni back and helped her with her homework. After I got off the phone, i went to Fry's to buy Lord of The Ring. I then went home and just hung out.

Today not much so far. I made an interview for Mr. Ashby. I'm gonna grill him on Ms. Liewer. Now I'm in COllege Prep with Tawni. We have this argument going about chivalry and about how she doesn't like it. Cuz she's independent....hehehheh...sure.... i am.....

Journal Writing

Song Of The Day - Goo Goo Dolls - Black Balloon
Currently Feeling - Alright
This Day In History - I Failed My 1st try on my drivers test.

Well last nite not much to it. I went to Cousins and ate the salad. I only stayed for a little bit though. I then went back home.....yeah my nite pretty much ended there...

Today was pretty basic, Journalism were gonna start interviewing. Next week we get to interview a teacher so I think I'll either ask Mr. Ashby or Mrs. Lovett. In 2nd period, Tawni wasn't there. We went to the Electronic classroom to work on the essay. I have a B in the class cuz I did horrible on the admissions essay. That's the last time I try to be creative on my essay. From now on I do it the way I normally do it. 3rd period Yvonne and me finished the camera and we ditched class for the last 10 minutes and we went into Barbie's class to see what's up. At lunch there was an accident. Calc I took a quiz and I thought it was easy so I probably bombed it. After school I talked to Tawni since she showed up to take a test. She's really sick, hopefully it's not related to last year with her stomach. I then went home and took a quick nap....

Random Things.....

I thought I was out of the woods but on Thurs I have to get my blood drawn......shit I thought it was all over....

Plan R2 I'll write in a couple days. There's really no reason except for luck.....I dunno I've told a couple peeps already

Tentative Plan R Squared (R2)

Currently Feeling - Good
This Day In History - I went to Tuscon and a lot of stuff happened. Also my Cousin started his blog "death in Solitude"

Well yesterday I went to see Freddy Vs. Jason....It was a pretty cool movie minus the plot but really hasn't all movies this summer been like that. Afterwards I dropped off Frank then Adam and me played Madden. Then the last game he was leading me 14 points when I had to leave so we had to save the game. Now the importance of the game is for the "legendary" Red Baron phone tone that Adam wants so bad. Anyways went to church and saw Amber and Alicia.....Then I dropped off and went back to finish the game. i ended up beating Adam in OT....We played some more then I went home around 9.

This morning in the parking lot, I opened the moonroof and lowered my seat because I had a nice view of clouds that made me think. Anyways 1st period I had a LOT of time to think. Mainly 2 things were on my mind. What they were I can't say but it did sprout off a new plan. I call it plan R2. Anyways I'll talk about it after I finish blogging. 2nd period nothing really Tawni and me passed notes on my bookmark. 3rd period Yvonne didn't go to the councilor so that we could finish up our camera.....I felt bad....Lunch I got my gift from my friends.....lol their very funny......Playboy and a fuckin Dildo....the last one no one fessed up who's idea it was because I was gonna smack him....anyways were planning on using it as a gag but it has to be good cuz they said it costs $20..... Anyways the plan for today is ?????? I don't have homework so I may go to Cousins if someone calls...or not....

Random Things....

I've decided not to write about Plan R2 for a little bit. I'll probably tell everyone before then anyways I'll just wait to write it...

B-Day Aftermath

Currently Feeling - OK
This Day In History - I celebrated my b-day. Ummm I started going to find my drs. for HCT.

Well my b-day has come and gone and overall it was alright. Hmmm my parents woke me up to sing me the happy b-day song. I woke up at 8 and went to church at 8:30. I dropped my sis off at her chorus workshop then went she came home we ate lunch. I then hit up Adam and he and Dusty went with me to play Madden 2004. I bought it and I beat Adam with my new team the Saints.....I need to get adjusted though cuz it was pretty close until the end. After that we went to Alex's house to play Smash Bros and Halo. I left to go home and took and shower then went to Adam's again. We hung out there for a while then we went to eat dinner at Wendy's. After that we headed off on a journey to Paul's house. It was near the loop 303, a part of AZ I haven't been to in my life. Anyways in Sun city they have a huge dip that isn't marked so I went 60 over it and we flew....it was sick.....anyways we got to Paul's house.......HOLY SHIT THAT PLACE IS FUCKING HUGE....... Compared to Paul were all poor......Tawni opened the door and I got my present.....I got from Tawni a moose, a Cousins gift certificate, and my personal favorite a journal. Paul then got me a planner. We watched How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days......After the movie Jason, Frank, and Steph came and got Steph's gift......a Billy Bear.....Jason got me another Cousins gift certificate......We then went upstairs to chill. The lights went off and we had to lite up candles... around 12 I got exceptionally tired and knowing it's 20 minutes away I decided to leave. Overall it was ok, it wasn't as weird as I imagined it in my head but I still felt pretty uncomfortable there but that's to be expected I guess.

HAPPY B-DAY TO ME

Currently Feeling - Alright
This Day In History - I was born in Carrolton, Texas 1986.......

Well last nite I went to Amber's but she had already left to the dance so I went to Cousins while waiting for Adam and Jason to finish up at Audio Express. I talked to Steph for a little bit then I went to Jamba Juice to get Paul's gift...yes Paul....I talked to Tawni for a little bit then I went back to Cousins. Jason and Adam came but Adam left to go eat dinner while Jason and me went back to his house. His parents came home and got us some food from Wendy's then we just watched I love the 70's. Steph called at around 9 and we drove over to her house. Steph's sis had a bunch of friends over so we were all just chillin. Steph's dad was trying to get me to drink but I didn't although Jason kept questioning my morals jokingly. I watched peeps play shotglass checkers....then I played Jason in NCAA Football....

Hmm now today is my birthday but I'm not sure what I'm gonna do today. I'm gonna eat lunch with family and then the rest of my day is free so I guess I'm gonna go to the party although I don't know if I'm staying for a little or staying the nite....

Random Things....

My cousin Mark is bothering the shit out of me because he keeps calling about the fantasy football trade....he's so fuckin stupid, get a job.....

Adam was quite pissed on Fri because he was trying to be nice to Paul but it seemed as though Paul kinda brushed him off.....so I convinced him to go tonite but he's only going to stay for a little bit.....

So far besides family, only Adam has called to say happy birthday....hmmm kinda sad but it's ite I guess

Where is Everyone?

Currently Feeling - Alright
This Day in History - 1st official song of the day. I watched this show about this girl getting raped and it made me feel really sad and made me think. Also my first thought about homecoming.......

Well last nite Jason and me went to Cousins for a couple hrs. We hung out with Holly cuz Steph seemed kinda out of it. Afterwards we went to my house to pick up Frank's gift then went to his house. We stayed for cheesecake but had to leave cuz of homework....

Today was quiet. This morning I talked to Amber. She has my gift so she said to go to the dance and she'll give it to me or to call her and then I can pick it up. The guys said that they are gonna get my gift afterschool then they will put it in my locker on Mon. Anyways first hr sucked cuz it's so boring. 2nd period Tawni wasn't there. 3rd Period Yvonne wasn't there so there was kinda no one to talk to and plus I had to work on our camera alone. Lunch we ate with Joel, Jason B, Steve, Aric. Then we had a stupid assembly. My sis is leaving today or tomorrow. I gotta get a haircut, my friends are out getting my gift. I have to call Amber, and I may go to Cousins. I have decided not to call Ian. and I have to call Amber.....

A Good Day?????

Song Of The Day - Tyrese - Lately
Currently Feeling - Good????
This Day In History - There was my short lived Word of the day. Mostly I talked about how much change was gonna happen. And here I am one year later worried about change although not the same things.

Well last nite I went out and got some pizza for my family. I talked to Tawni for a short time although it did make me feel somewhat better. She says she knows what's up with me and I wouldn't doubt her because she does know me more than anyone else. After the call I felt better but that was short lived cuz I remembered that I have to get a shot. I started practicing by rubbing alcohol on my arm then pinching it real hard. After that I got real tired and I actually went to sleep somewhat early at 10:30....

Today was Frank and Pauls b-day so...... Happy B-day Frank and Paul. This morning I was hyperventalating because of my shot. I was breathing really hard, sweating, and felt like throwing up. I talked to Amber about it and she said if I rescheduled it for afterschool then she would go with me. I guess I looked really messed up cuz Steph was asking if I was alright. 1st period flew by cuz I was only thinking about the shot. In 2nd period, I was really out of my mind. Kelly was trying to make me feel better but had an opposite effect. Then I had everyone pinch me in the arm. Tawni saw me and gave me her curious george head keychain so that I could hold on to something.

Well 9:10 came and the phone rang. I went to the dr office but they said that I needed to have a note or an adult so my dad and my dad's cousin came. Anywho I had to get a physical and everyone was talking about girlfriends. Yeah even when my ballz were being poked at. Yeah I guess my dad thought I was going out with Amber cuz when i told my uncle that I didn't have a girlfriend right now my dad asked "what about Amber".....yeah but my favorite was when the doctor was telling me to check my nuts once a month. She said that only I should do it and if anyone touches my nuts then I should tell my parents. Then my uncle asked "what about his girlfriend".....lol yeah I cracked up laughing....anywho all laughs aside, the moment of truth came. This is how it went, it turned out my school is idiotic and I had all my shots. But wait....it turns out when I took my Tuburculosis B shot I took them too close together. So I had to take that shot. I clenched the Curious George head and did what Tawni and Amber told me to do....think about them....but the worst isn't over....On Mon (estimated) afterschool I have to get my blood drawn....fuck it never ends......

Anyways I came back to class in 3rd period. Yvonne and me were the last people to make our photograms so we were in the darkroom messing around and she trapt me in the circular thing. The teach comes in and bang on it scaring the shit out of me. She says next time I do that I lose my darkroom privilages. Lunch I guess the party is moved to Paul's house......now this creates quite a conflict of what I said earlier...earlier this week I said to Frank that if the party was moved to Paul's house I don't think I'd go cuz that would be really weird. Steph knows that I was gonna try to backtrack out of it, she even offered to drive everyone so I can't use the gas as my solution. But I have 2 days to think of a reason.......and lastly Calc was Calc....

Random Things...

The plan for today is I have some homework, then I'll go to COusins with Jason if he calls.....

Amber is cools, she seems back to her old self from 1st semester last year. She just seemed really different 2nd semester last year.....

I ran into Alicia and Christie today...kinda embarrasing they both shouted my name and the teach looked at us like we were all crazy....

Damn Mon i guess I have to get blood drawn...I thought I was out of the gate......

The fantasy football draft was yesterday.......

Yeah the talk even though it was probably 2 minutes long (her fone is really jacked) it cleared up what I think was causing a conflict in my head...

Ian wants me to call him tomorrow. Now the truth is I dont' want to but Adam says this will prove whether I'm cold hearted or not.....

This Week Sucks and it's only half over

Currently Feeling - Read the Title
This Day In History - Hmm... Tawni moved up in the ranks in my blog. I referred to her as my girlfriend (not girlfriend but girl-friend)....heh ummm and in HCT we started learning CPR.

Well this week has been pretty bad for me. This week isn't even half over, tomorrow I gotta get my shot. Fri my sis is leaving to UofA, Sat is the "joint" party......so yeah I can't wait for this week to be over.....Anyways today, Journalism I took a quiz, college prep did more reading, photo did another photogram, lunch ate in, math did homework. Afterschool I went to Gamestop to get Frank's b-day gift. Then I went to Frank's house to borrow his calculator and then played Nick in Smash Bros. I then got the windows retinted and now I'm home.....

Random Things....

The plan for the rest of today is ???????

I'm sorry for the very brief blog but I'm not in the mood to blog nor do I really feel the need to expand on how bad I feel and I don't think I want to remember so.....

My parents are staying the nite in Tucson on Fri so I dunno what Im gonna do.....

That's all I really feel about writing about

2nd Week To Find Out How Things Are Going To Go

Song Of The Day - Postal Service - Nothing Better
Currently Feeling - Not So Good
This Day In History - Nothing Posted

Well this week is the week where you get a feeling on how things are going to be for the rest of the semester. Well so far it's not the best. I dunno just some things that are on my mind. Anyways today was ok if you want to stretch it. This morning I backed the MDX into the trashcan. I talked to Amber and Tawni in the morning but I left early because I felt I needed to. I don't know if Amber was joking but she asked me if I was going to homecoming because she needed a date. Anyways Journalism we watched a movie, 2nd period we read Sir Gowen and the green knight. I talked to Leah for a little bit. 3rd period I made my photogram using tawni's keychains that were shaped of a cherry, a rubber ducky, and a curious george head. Lunch I stayed in because it was raining and because of the whole gas issue I don't think anyone wanted to drive. Calc I got a 78% on my test, so with corrections I'll get an 89% and in the class I should have a 90-91%. I did better than Jason who got a 76-77% which was cool. Afterschool I was talking to Joe for a while just catching up. well yeah I'm home right now I just wanted to write. Well yeah

Hmm...I can't think of A Title Pt II

I don't know why I'm writing but I am. I just finished my homework but I'm not tired but actually quite awake. So what do I want to write about????? I don't know

Hmm...I can't think of A Title

Song Of The Day - Mest - Jaded (These Years)
Currently Feeling - Good
This Day In History - I had a dream where I was being chased by my cousin who was wearing a "michael Jackson" outfit.

Well last nite I went and ate dinner with Dusty and Adam at BK. I jacked some napkins for Adam's car. Then I just hung out at home for the rest of the nite. This morning I picked up Adam because he had to get some new tires and what not. School was ok, better than last week I guess. Journalism I watched yet another movie. 2nd period I worked on my admission essay while sitting with Adrian. We reminisced about old times....lol he's pretty funny. Yeah he's also got a little "friends with benefits" thing going out. I don't really agree with it but to each their own. 3rd period I just worked on my art critique with Yvonne. Amber invited me to lunch with Paul and Tawni but I had prior engagements with the group. Lunch we went to Jason's house where we had a bomb homemade meal. hmmm mac and cheese, chicken breasts, and brownies....yup... Math we had a test and I think I did pretty well......after school I dropped off Adam and now I'm bloggin....the plan for today is ????????

Random Things.....

Tomorrow I gotta go with moses to get the volvo car tinted.

Jason is a bit defensive about his gushers...

Gas is crazy in Phoenix right now, it's like gold here....

The song right now is Mest - Jaded. I got the song from my friends sis' and it's pretty good

There's a time and place, for everything.
There's a reason why, certain people meet.
There's a destination, for everyone.
What's the explination, when we're done?

All the summer nights spent wondering;
So many questions asked, but no one's answering.
Would it be okay if I left today?
Took my chances on what you said was wrong?

I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.
I'll never regret these years.

Now here i sit, so far away.
Remembering all our memories.
Its times like these that I miss you most,
Remembering when we were so close.

I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, we'll never regret.
These years spent, so faded and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.

We'll never forget the places we've been, you and i.
Our lives are slipping away.
Don't want to let time pass us by, byyyyyyy...

I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret.
These years....
...spent, so faded and wreckless,
Not sorry, and I'll never regret...
I'm jaded, stupid, and wreckless.
Not sorry, and I'll never regret these years.

Grindin

Song Of The Day - Matchbook Romance - The Greatest Fall (of All Time)
Currently Feeling - ok
This Day In History - No Entry

Well yesterday was alright. I chilled at home for the longest time then I went over to Adam's house to watch tv. We got into a little dispute over whether or not I was being cold. I don't think he quite understands but I dunno. Jason called up and Jason, Adam, and Frank are going to combine and get me a gift...I'm really curious they all say I'm gonna love this gift..... I feel a little bad cuz Adam's putting in $30 and then he's also getting me something else so yeah.... Anyways we then went to get some gas cuz of the whole gas shortage problem in AZ. Then we waited til 10:30 for Frank to get off work. Now the plan was to watch Freddy vs. jason but all the show times were passed already so we watched Grind. The movie was decent, there was this old guy who I guess was going thru a mid life crisis cuz he would be the most annoying person in the theater.

Anyways I came home and watched a little tv and then slept in my sis room cuz she was in my room playing silent hill 3. I had this dream, it actually put me in a better mood. I went to Church and sat on the chapel side hoping I'd get a chance to talk to the mystery girl but she either was sitting on the other side or didn't go to church so a little dissapointing. Now I'm at home, I watched a Walk to Remember again.....hmmm I did my math homework, I got a test tomorrow, I wrote a ballad but I thought it wasn't up to my standards of meaningful so instead I used one from last year called "Unexpected Friendship V2" cuz it told a story and it's probably my most meaningful one. I think I'll still work on the other ballad and tweak it up because I think it has potential just needs some rewording and put more heart into it. So anyways I chill and I may go out with Adam to grab some dinner some time tonite...

A Very Boring Weekend

Song Of The Day - Maroon 5 - She Will Be Loved
Currently Feeling - Dissapointed
This Day In History - I slept (or more precisely hibernated)

Well today has sucked, but in a more general sense this whole weekend has sucked..... Hmmm yesterday I didn't do anything. Tawni didn't call so I didn't go to Cousins. I picked up my sis and her friends at the mall. I talked to Frank and Adam at 10:30 but I was too tired to hang out. Today I went to my senior pics, Tawni and Paul left as I came in and sat down. My pictures went ok, the guy knew I didn't want to do any funky poses so it was cool. I talked to my cousin Tiano and told him that he should try to help his ex with her problem but to just be careful. After that I went home and ate lunch and then I went to Glendale to get one of the windows retinted but they were really busy so I reschduled it to Mon. Since them I've just been chilling, I made a new cd but it's untitled. It's just a mix....

Random Things....

A weekend like this hasn't been the greatest for me since I was already a bit out of it already before the weekend.

Nice Weather

Song Of The Day - Daniel Bedingfield - If Your Not The One
Currently Feeling - Bothered
This Day In History - Today Last Year was a very important date, my councilor told me that I couldn't drop HCT so I ended up staying. Also I made my first mention of Tawni although I refered to her as my best friends' ex-girlfriend. My exact phrase was "I sit behind my friends ex-girlfriend and she's always trying to flirt. She's alright but I wouldn't go out with her."

Well today was a good day for all, really it was, I have run into a bunch of peeps today that mentioned that today was a good day. As I mentioned early I'm in a very singy mood so this morning I was listening and trying (keyword) to sing "if your not the one". Anyways it was raining pretty hard last nite so the place where i normally parked was now a lake. So anyways Journalism, I was still a loner but at least the lesson was somewhat interesting. College Prep we had an assembly about the rules. We then took a quiz and I did pretty well. We have to write a ballad for monday. I have three ideas, one would write a new ballad, two use one of my old poems, three write a special ballad.......right now I'm looking at Option #3..... 3rd period photo was the same with Yvonne and Damian. Lunch Adam, Frank, Jason, and me went to my house for lunch today. My dad got us some pizza so it was pretty good. Calc I'm doing alright, Jason and me right now are on the same wavelength in terms of understanding the material (yes on par with the boy genius). Anyways the plan for tonite is ????????, it sucks first fri of school and no one is free to do anything. Jason is hanging out with Steph, Adam has to hang out with his grandma's, Frank has work....I'll go to Cousins if tawni calls and I think when Frank gets off we'll go shoot pool or something.......

Random Things.....

Last nite I watched A House of 1000 Corpses, that movie is really sadistic, it's really creepy and just sickening. My dad and my cousin was watching it when I came for lunch and Jason got scared.....

Ian invited me to go watch Freddy and Jason with him, Shawn, and probably the Manbergs, and Troy.....heh I passed, but I seem to see Ian everywhere now, kinda eerie....

Were getting satellite installed today, I don't know why they want satellite since we have digital cable already but it doesn't matter to me.

My mom is taking no more excuses on the 21st I gotten take my shot or else i can't go to Cactus....talk about an ultomatum...

The plan for this weekend is Freddy vs Jason, Church, pictures (Gotta remember 9:30)

Hmmm I heard a really good description of a real relationship by my cousin. If you want to read it click here

A Spark, Where Can I Find You

Song Of The Day - The Juliana Theory - Emotion Is Dead
Currently Feeling - Quiet
This Day In History - 1st Day of School, heh this time last year I decided I was gonna go to my councilor to drop Health Care Tech.


Wow did today suck, this morning we talked about the "joint" b-day party. It seems alright, although I'm a bit worried about how that could possibly turn out. I'm clueless on what peeps are gonna get me, but I have no clue what I want. Journalism.....ehhhh that class sucked out all the energy and personality out of me. Ok first off there is one other Senior in my class but I really don't talk to her. The rest are Frosh and Soph.....now I wouldn't mind talking to them but they all don't talk. It's a very dry class, it's way too quiet and I'm not one to be the talkative one in the class. Anyways today we watched a movie that was recorded in the 1950's...complete with the commercials......Anyways after that class I was so wasted, I couldn't really think or talk much. College Prep I was realy quiet to everyone...... After class Tawni and me were talking about my b-day next year with the strip club......She can come as long as she participates in the festivities....Photo pretty much the same and then for lunch we went to Adam's house so I got some Capt. Crunch cereal....Calc was hard as hell today, I have no clue on what she said about trigonometry and when I came home my sis wasn't there (she went camping til Sat). So yeah anyways I'm gonna get cracking on homework early again so for the rest of the day I'll go do something or stay at home or chill.....

Random Things....

I forgot to elaborate on my title from yesterday....yeah with the new year I have a very weird feeling like some changes are going to occur this year.....I don't know anything imparticular but I just have a feeling some things are gonna change....whether it be for better or worse I'm just hoping it's just some random overthinking and that's it cuz it's been really bugging me for the past few days....

For the past two days I've been singing alot to myself, yeah I just start singing if I'm not doing anything.....yeah I think the songs I've been singing the most is, Endless love, when I fall in love, and Dashboard - Hands Down

hmmmm.....I'm a little curious about my parents spending spree lately......we've just added on another $100 per month on cellular phones, they are planning on buying about around $500 on new cell phones for my mom, dad, and my little sis. Then they switch phone companies and then they are changing to cox high speed next week. Then they decided that they want satellite instead of digital cable....then possibly this month they are planning on getting me my car......so yeah they are all doing this at the same time, maybe they have a new source of money that they aren't telling me about.......

The title for today is just really a hypothetical question that I threw out there cuz of my overthinking lately. When it comes to girls, I've never just gone out there on a hit and miss type approach...it's not my style and I don't think it ever will be....I've always just had this spark that I get and it just tells me. This is how it has always worked. Last year before school started my plan was to try to use the hit and miss approach but obviously some things happened that threw that out the window.... Anyways so far this year, I have felt no new spark, it comes natually so I'm not trying to force the feeling but normally something should have kicked in by now....(the girl in the church is different, one I don't know one single thing about her, nor have I even seen her face)... Anyways no spark as of yet.....

On the flip side, the only thing that causes an unnatural spark is some fragrance that exists somewhere in this world. Whenever I smell it, I go head over heels in a trance.....So yeah I think that's my pet peeve, I can't go out with someone who smells on a constant basis....

A Time Of Change

Song Of The Day - Vanessa Williams and Brian Mcknight - When I fall in Love
Currently Feeling - Bothered Somewhat
This Day in History - The last day that I hung out with Ian, Bobby, Ryan, Braiden, Nick. Yup I went to Denny's with all of them before I stopped really hanging out with them. It was the last day before school started and Ian wanted to hang out one last time before school started. Then later on that nite I hung out with Frank and Adam.....I guess that was the transition....

Well today was a normal day.....I'm still saying what's up to people i haven't seen in a while. Yeah well I guess my worst class this semester is going to be Journalism because I have absolutely no one to talk to. I guess it'll work in my favor cuz I did my work early and then for the rest of the period I used it to stare blankly into the wall and to think...the funny thing is it's the room where Robotics was held so it brought back some lovely memories....College Prep is going to be my big ass talkative class....I mean there is no avoiding, I have Tawni to talk to, Adam and Frank, Adrian, Joel, I'm even gonna try to talk to Leah again (we used to talk back in the global humanities days)...I've also decided to ease my guilty conscience that I'm gonna start talking to Jenn. Yeah I feel bad cuz I've been avoiding her for the longest time cuz I feel guilty.. Anyways I'm sharing my locker with Frank so that he doesn't have to use the bottom locker anymore. Anyways Photo was pretty alright....The only people i really talk to on a constant basis is Yvonne and Damian. Yvonne is really cool, she cut my paper for me cuz I kept screwing up, and Damian and me just talk. For lunch we stayed in and ate mexican food, Steph saved me from a bee that was going to sneak attack me so that's for saving my life....For lunch tomorrow were going to go over to Adam's then on Fri my house, then Mon Jason's....Then my final class Calc...I guess it won't be as bad as I first thought it to be. Too bad half my class I find annoying...Jason agrees with me, in particular Carmen Wilcox....heh I think Tawni should remember her and the stories of Carmen while Tawni was sick and left me alone in Bio.....Anyways after school I talked to Danielle and Mel who I haven't seen all summer long. They are the coolest, yup hopefully I do something with them and the rest of the "study group"...Anyways I talked to Tara while waiting for Barbie to come then I dropped Barbie off at home and went to the library to rent "Love in the Time Of Cholera"...my sis said I liked it and after reading the synopsis I'm actually looking forward to reading it.......Anyways I just have calc to do so I have free time today...

Random Things....

Adam has been saying that I've been fucked up lately cuz of the way I've been semi avoiding Ian. I dunno maybe I am but it's just that when I talk to him I just have this feeling that I don't want to anymore.....none the less the question remains of whether or not I'm being fucked up?

Hmmm I've had a lot to think about lately but when I've tried to separate everything, I can't seemed to target one specific thought.....it's confusing, and it's bothering me like no other.....

I'm still interested about the girl at the church....I don't know what it is exactly about her I mean I haven't even seen her face but I feel somewhat compelled to find out more about her. So the tentative plan is for on Sun I'll go to church and find out if she looks older or younger...then from there I may try to start a conversation after church or before....the thing is I'm not giving this a plan nor am I telling anyone because I dont' want to feel obligated or forced...so yeah

oops I forgot to remind my mom once again to follow up with my dr.'s appointment....o clumsy me :)

Journey of Jamz 1 Yr Anniversary

Currently Feeling - Awkward
This Day In History - I was into this findapix thing....I met this one girl and she seemed like a very nice girl with morals and all....well it turned out that she was a ho.....pretty embarrasing


Wow well it's been exactly one year since I started writing in a blog and I think I've changed a lot in that year. It's helped me just to let stuff out when I need to not to mention improve my writing skills somewhat. Anyways I didn't have much time to celebrate because it was the second day of school. This morning I dragged myself out of bed and Barbie to go to school. I talked to Mike P, Mike L, and Joe for a little bit catching up. I talked to Tawni for a little bit, she talked to Emily about the whole problem thing. I don't know what effect this will have but hopefully it will be positive. Anyways Journalism was really boring today. It sucks because I have no one to talk to. We watched a movie and took notes but that was about it. College Prep, Adrian moved into our class....We went into the library and I was reading essays with Tawni and Adam. I wanted to borrow Love in the time of Cholera but it wasn't there so I'm gonna borrow Adam's card and go to the library. Anyways I also got a chance to talk to Steve who I haven't seen this summer....yeah I was talking to him and Bobby about cars.....After class I let Tawni look at my obituary of myself while talking to Amber. Anyways I decided to make it kinda depressing. To sum up my made up life, I was a successful dentist who gave his service free to those who couldn't afford it. The downside was I never did find my "true" love and I died protecting my friend by getting shot.....not the most happy life I guess......Photo was alright, I just talked with Yvonne and Damien. Lunch I went with Frank and Adam to Frank's house to eat corn dogs and watch 3 little ninjas. Finally math, it was actually pretty easy today........Well don't have any plans or homework other than math so.....

Random Things....

When I left for lunch I got to talk to Emily. She asked me what I said to Tawni and to Steph....I'm not sure if she was mad or not, she didn't seem like it but I don't think she'll tell me anything anymore... I'm just a little upset cuz I'm not sure what she thinks I said or what not...... So from now on I've decided that i'm not going to interfere in business like that unless it's absolutely neccessary. I mean they all may have made up but if Emily is now pissed at me...it's a bit unfair....

It's still too early to tell how this semester will turn out...maybe by next week or the the week after then you can tell how the school year is going to happen....

I'm feeling absolutely awkward in a weird way.....I'm not going to explain it though, cuz I really don't know how to word it, and I don't think I want to...

School's ugly head

Currently Feeling - OK

Well last nite I got no sleep whatsoever....I was so tired....anyways my day, lets see I took my sis and me to school at 6:55...she went and did her stuff in the cafeteria while I hung out in the car until Jason and Frank arrived. Tawni and Steph also arrived and we all went.....anyways it was weird seeing all these people and not talking to them all summer. Anyways 1st period...Journalism...yup 2 seniors in the class Kaitleen and me....It was weird cuz everyone was underclassmen.....There was this one girl who sat next to Kaitleen, she looked like the girl from the facilty...the one who turned out to be the mother alien...anyways I felt kinda bad cuz she would always turn around when I started talking so I just gave her a smile everytime she turned around....2nd period, College Prep, heh my class is very weird... I mean I have my 3 of my best friends in Tawni, Adam, and Frank......But then it gets kinda weird...there's Leah who I used to have a big ass crush on since Frosh year.....I talked to her a little when I saw her....then there is Jennifer Stufflebeam who I've had a history with....Pretty much I was friends with her and Ian back in the day and I was always the puppetmaster trying to get them together....But when Ian got all hostile towards her, I know it was not deserved but I didn't stop anything....and I felt bad about it, that's why I have kinda a hard time looking at her or talking to her. Then there's Hubert...heh a very coin like personality......2 sides....mainly because he always tries to be Mr. Sensitive towards the girls but when with guys, he always says something along the lines of "I'd fuck her"....I dunno it's probably cuz of my new conscious but it just bothers me sometimes.... then 3rd period is photo.....Yvonne ran up to me and sat next to me....yeah I thought it was kinda weird cuz I haven't really talked to her in high school and we never really talked in elementary...but she's cool....I talked to her for most of class....but I also got Brett, Damian, and Mike Philips in my class......Lunch I just hung out at school then we all hung out in the parking lot. Before 5th period, Tawni, Adam, and me went to visit Mr. Ashby...heh a little weird, he gave me this look that I found very weird until I remembered what I put in his e-mail...then it all hit me...kinda embarassing......5th is Calc...that class is real hard but I doi have Moses and Jason.....Afterschool I just picked up Barbie cuz she forgot her id..and then I went and hung out at Adam's for a little. We were supposed to go school shopping but he had to go to work....So the plan for today is not to go to sleep....I've finished most of my homework, now I have to get school supplies, get shoe cleaner, then visit cousins, then finish homework...

The Girl At Church

Currently Feeling - Good

Well I watched Boys and Girls and it had some good movies but overall it was a waste of a Sat nite. This morning I woke up at 9 and went to Church at 10. There was this girl sitting in the front row and she looked so cute, hmmm I guess I could use the word elegant. I was entraced for most of church. I didn't even noticed I was sitting behind Regina (the other hot girl in my RE Class).....I didn't see her face though so it was really hard to tell if she was older or younger....oh well next week I'm gonna sit there and see if I can't get a conversation started.....anyways afterwards I resumed my search for Shoe Magik cleaner. I tried to go to Arrowhead but to no avail. I then hung out with Tawni at Cousins for a while, but things started to get busy so I decided it was best if I left. I hung out at home for a bit, then went to Ed's house to fix his comp. He paid me $25 and then I picked up everyone for Metro.....Damn I couldn't find the shoe cleaner.....so now I kick it at home........

Random Things....

With School tomorrow I've been thrown into overthinking mood because I don't know how this year will unveil itself and what changes could happens and what stays the same.

The Last Weekend

Currently Feeling - Good

Well today has been a slightly weird day. I woke up and blogged. I then talked to Tawni for a little bit before work. She wanted me to come in at 3 til close so i told her that I would. Now I had plans to go watch SWAT with the crew but I figured that Adam wouldn't get off work til 3 then we would have to watch it at nite. Well things didn't quite turn out this way. Adam got off at 2:30 which was the time the movie started so I tried real hard to try to postpone the movie. I even at the end suggested that they watch the movie and I'll watch it by myself tonite. Well I was gonna get in the car but they jumped in so I had no other choice. And the whole way they talked about me being whipped....heh my personal favorite was from Frank when he said "she's not even ur girlfriend and you have been whipped creamed".....nice......well I called Tawni that I was gonna be late which got some more comments. We got to the movie and it was really good. I enjoyed it......Afterwards I dropped off Frank and Adam, while Jason and me went to Cousins. Steph and Tawni were working so we hung out there til close. Yeah Tawni owed me a favor but she claimed that I can't use my favor til tomorrow which didn't make sense but in the long run was good. Anyways I had a really great time hanging out til about 7 then it started getting dreary on me....I just got quiet.....well I stuck thru it til close, then I dropped off Jason to his car then hung out with Adam and Dusty for an hour. At 9 I went over to Steph's party but only for a little bit. I then called Tawni while at the "spot"......yeah it was nice and pretty cuz of the full moon. Well now i'm home and the plan for tonite is to watch boys and girls. The plan for tomorrow is to enjoy my last day of summer. I'll go fix my dad's friends computer, then I'll go to church, and sometime between 11-4 I'll go to Cousins......

Random Things....

Just a Reminder to myself.....Tawni owes me a favor....lol but the funny thing was that I was gonna come either way, she didn't have to...

One of Two Watched

Song of The Day - Juliana Theory - Jewel To Sparkle
Currently Feeling - Good

Well as predicted I didn't do anything last nite. I went to Hollywood to rent my movies, I talked to Tawni for a little, was a little worried cuz she said her heart was skipping a beat (literally) so I told her to talk to someone if it became a problem. Anyways she was gonna watch forces of theory while I watched Blast From The Past.....I really liked Blast From The Past, it was a sweet movie. I remember never wanting to see the movie cuz it looked corny as hell but it's pretty funny and yeah sweet. Anyways plans for today are chill for a while again. Then go to Metro to get my shoe cleaner. Then once again were all gonna try to watch SWAT sometime tonite.

Random Things....

Whenever I get the chance I'll also watch Boys and Girls

Romantic Comedies

Well I've done nothing today, in fact it's 10:20 and I'm home already. So lets recap the day, I woke up at 10, played phone tag with everyone til 12. Had to drive my aunt to Camelback for lawyer. went to Red Lobster on my aunt. Got home at 3, took a nap til 5. Tried to call up Adam but he was taking a nap. Everyone else was at work though. Then I went to the mall to look for shoe cleaner and shoe strings. Only found shoe strings.....Then some guy in the parking lot cuts me off so when we turn left onto Bell I cut him off but then he decides to follow me and tailgate me all the way til 67th. I then see Paul cuz it's such a small world after all. I hang out at home and it looks like Frank's gonna sit on his ass tonite, Adam's got work at 6 in the morning, Jason is hanging out with Steph...ahhh so cute :)........So tonite I'm gonna go to hollywood and try to rent two movies....one being Blast from the past which I watched part of in Cali and it seemed pretty good, and the other movie being Boys and Girls....it looks like it has potential....boy I like my romantic comedies, I just don't look like I do......

Random Things.....

Edgefest....one day Tawni's not going, the next day she's not.....one day Emily's not going, the next day she is, one day Steph isn't going, the day she is.....it's all too confusing......

I haven't gone to the mall by myself in a long time. I only went cuz I had a purpose but I was in then out.... it was kinda funny though cuz they had little "gangs" hang out trying to look all hardcore and shit, then the girls, for some reason they looked very busty tonite which isn't a bad thing. Too bad they either looked like sluts or pop princesses.

No Idea For A Title

Currently Feeling - Good

Ok so yesterday was a pretty normal day for me. Jason called up and we talked for a little bit, then he told me to go to Frank's house. So I took a shower and we headed over there. We kicked it for a while, but then Frank had to go pick up his truck, so we dropped him off then headed over to Jason's cuz he had to stay and watch his brother. He watched Bringing Down the house til Frank got there then we went out to eat dinner. We ate at Japan express then went back. Steph got off work and invited us to see Tomb Raider again. Jason really wanted to go but I don't know why...........anyways we couldn't cuz no one could watch his bro, we were about to bring his bro but at the last minute he decided against it. So we went back and kicked it til about 11 then we went home. I chilled outside my house for a bit, then got online and chatted with Tawni for a little. She then called up and we talked for a bit. heh I got angry at her cuz she called herself ugly, and we also took a stroll down memory lane about our first serious girlfriend/boyfriend........anyways we made another bet but according to the rules I can't tell anyone the bet. Anyways her fone messed up so I just watched some tv then went to sleep. The plan for 2day is Tempe for my aunt's lawyer, then SWAT if I get back in time. Then tonite I doubt I'll do anything unless someone makes plans cuz everyone is working on a Fri.......

Random Things....

Yeah Jason and me got into a mini argument over Edgefest....lol it was funny cuz it ended with both of us saying "you know where my loyalty lies".......

Tawni's not going to edgefest which realy sux

A Big Ole Talk

Song Of the Day - Beyonce - After all is said and done (I love this song)
Currently Feeling - Really Good

Well last nite I had a big ole talk with Tawni that started online but our hands got too tired so we ended up talking about it over the phone. It was a well needed talk for her as well as me cuz we both think very similar of each other, it's scary. We both were overthinking and we just had to straighten out some things. So after last nite everything seems to be a better position. So we ended at around 2-3 and I passed out. When I woke up I took my aunt to the divorce lawyer and treated Marianne and me to dinner at Papadeaux's. Place is very nice, it's the 2nd time I've gone, the last time I went was at prom. Then I drove around the rental car (maxima) for a while. I went to Cousins to talk to Emily while my sis went to Ulta 3. Emily had to talk about some things and was a little pissed. Most notably about Edgefest, she was real pissed bout that, and also she was curious about Steph. I then went with my mom to the grocery store. I don't have any plans for tonite so yeah.......

Random Things......


I love the song "here I am" with Beyonce......The beat isn't the best but I really love the lyrics......

After All Is Said And Done
Beyonce And Marc Nelson
(The Best Man)

Here I am, looking in the mirror
An open face, the pain erased
And now the sky is clearer
I can see the sun
Now that all, all is said and done, oh

There you are
Always strong when I need you
You let me give
And now I need, seriously and protected
With the one I will love
After all is, all is said and done

I once believe that hearts were made to bleed
(Inside I once believe that hearts were made to bleed, oh baby)
But now I'm not afraid to say

I need you, I need you so stay with me

These precious (precious) hours (yeah)
Spend each hour in open arms
And dream into, into tomorrow

Where there's only love
After all is, all is said and done

(Yeah baby) Oh baby
(Inside I once believed, that hearts were meant to bleed)

I'll never be afraid to say I need you, I need you, so here

So here we are in the still of the moment
Fear is gone, hope lives on

We found our happing ending
For there's only love
And this sweet, sweet love
After all is, all is said and done

Yeah baby after all is (all is)

All is said and done

Back to Normal....Sort Of

5 Days Til School

Well yup today was my first day back in AZ and also marks 6 (5 now cuz it's past midnite) more days til school. So I guess I'll recap, I got home blogged a little, then passed out. Tawni was the first to call but she forced me to go back to sleep. The next person to call was Frank, he invited me to lunch with him and Adam but I was too tired and had no money on me so I declined and went back to sleep. Jason then called and I talked to him for a bit and caught up. Yeah I think everything is water under the bridge between me and Jason. So I finally woke up around 2-3 and I ate and did some driving around for my parents. I then went to Cousins and hung out with Tawni and Steph. Yeah they were planning everyone's b-day in August. They were planning a joint b-day party for Paul (Aug 21) and me (Aug 23)....heh this is gonna be really interesting on how this will turn out...oh the possibilities.......Anyways I told them that I wanted a bear head pillow which I really doubt they could find but would be sweet if they did. I don't know what Tawni has planned but she said something about 3 things....Anyways Steph and me are cool as always, but something seems a little out of whack with Tawni. Not really towards me but just a general vibe I'm getting from her. I'm worried not just cuz she's overthinking, but because I know exactly what's going on in her head. I know cuz she's saying the exact same things I do when I try to do the runaround.....So she's bloggin about and I'll leave it be for now until I get a better grasp of what she's thinking about. Anyways I stayed til about 7 when Paul came and I decided I didn't want to test myself so I decided to go to Frank's. ( I was supposed to be there a while ago but I was "too busy talking to tawni" according to Jason...lol).. well we went to Desert Ridge for Jason....there were a lot of cute girls there, I was happy. We then hung out at Frank's til Steph called. Jason picked her up while Adam came over. We went and saw American Wedding....lol that movie is funny....I really recommend it, too bad there was this woman sitting behind us that was so utterly annoying that I wanted to punch her....(so much for my temper) to bad her boyfriend was a giant.....I then went to my "spot" but only stayed for a bit. Now I'm at home, waiting for Tawni to update her blog while I finish mines....

Random Things.....

hmmmm I finally signed up for my pictures at Cousins....it's Aug 16th at 9:30.........

Senior year, I'm starting to get a little worried about the future.....I dunno just so many things that can happen and just your whole life, it just feels so overwhelming at times.....

California......A Pretty Good Trip

Song Of The Day - Beyonce - Here I am
Currently Feeling - Good


Well the trip was pretty good. I got to hang out with some of my cousins I haven't hung out with in a while. My drinking streak came to an end (although somewhat forced). It did have it's downsides though, Mark got pretty drunk and him and Teza got into arguments alot. It made me think..... Anyways so what did I do, well I watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen...pretty good movie. Calvin wanted to watch Seabiscuit but no one else wanted to watch it. Afterwards we hung out in Temecula to play some NCAA. Ummm the next day Mark got drunk yet again and it turns out that my parents won't get back til later that nite so we went to Dave and Busters with Calvin, Tina, Ryan, and Wowow.....We also ate at TGIF's.....After that we tried to leave but while on the freeway, Mark's car engine shut off.. so we had to wait a little bit. We finally got it started and came home. Tiano was there and so was Jan but we were leaving at 3 AM so I took a nap cuz I wasn't sure if I was gonna drive. Well I ended up driving the 2nd half so it wasn't too bad. Now I'm home yet again with 6 days before school. Once again sorry for the lack of detail, just stuff going on I can't recall all of it.

Mr. Bean

Song Of The Day - Paperboy Ditty
Currently Feeling - OK

Well I'm still in Cali and I have some down time so I thought I would write in my blog. Hmmm well last nite I went to dinner at the China Camp with Mark, Teza, Candice, Daryll, Calvin, and Tina...oh yeah and baby Mary-Tes..... Afterwards we went to Dave and Buster's which was called the Chuckie Cheese for adults. It was alright but a little hyped up. We chilled there and hung out for a while, then we went back to Calvin's house. We had a little tournament in NCAA 2004 Football which I won then we went home around 2. Sorry about the lack of detail but I'm kinda rushing things here. That was all last nite, this morning I played some NCAA football with Mark then Mark, Teza, Mary-Tes, and I went to the mall to get some food and watch Johnny English...lol the movie is pretty funny. Yeah so that's it for now....once again sorry for the lack of detail....

Random Things.....

I havent' hung out with John that much, we hung out a little bit yesterday then I hung out with some of his friends, I couldn't help but stare at one of his friends that looked like a tired white gangsta...lol

hmmm....I loooovvvvveee Mary-Tes...she's so cute

There are so much pretty girls at the mall, I was surprised at the great amount.

Natalie embrulia (spelling?) was hot in Johnny English....

hmmm don't know if I'm gonna go to the party tonite, depends on how tired I feel

I've learned that you can never avoid advice from family or friends, it's just a matter of filtering the good advice, and removing the bad advice......

Change in Plans

Well I had a slight change in plans from the vacation. We left at 8 at nite and I had to drive half and half with my dad. I decided to stay in Temecula instead of Monterey with my family cuz I haven't seen some of my cousins in a year. So the plan for today is I'm gonna go hang out with my couz John around town. Then go with my couz' Mark and Calvin to Dave and Busters. Then tomorrow I'm gonna go hit up a party. So I guess my drinking streak will be put up to the test. Well I gotta run I just had some free time to write.