Not A Good Day

Currently Feeling- Grumpy
This Day In History- None

Well last nite I didn't do much. I talked to tawni a little helping her with her homework. I studied really hard on my math test. I had this dream that I died by sleeping at the wheel on my way to Tucson. My day, nothing really bad or good happen. On my way to first period I thought I was gonna pass out cuz I felt really dizzy but it passed. Photo half of my film didn't turn out. Calc I think I fucked up my test. Afterschool this kid Eric and me went to the Record keeper to mail my UofA application. Now I"m just chillin at home cuz I have no homework except remembering lines from Hamlet.

Random THings.....

Hmmm I guess you can attribute my bad day to thinking. Something right now I don't wish to diverge anyone in cuz it's one of those things that'll pass.

Learning From The Past

Song Of The Day- Allister - Better Late Than Forever
Currently Feeling- Good
This Day In History- Well this day last year, I probably made a mistake that would probably change a lot of things today. I was trying to ask Tawni if she wanted to watch Sweet Home Alabama and then going on to ask her to homecoming. Alicia was telling me to ask her. Heh kinda ironic that if you were to flash forward to today, I have learned from my mistake and asked Vicky to watch a movie and asked her to homecoming. Oh yeah also there was this kid I like to call Harry Potter. He pissed me off cuz he chewed my pencil.....hahahaha

Well this weekend was so very busy that I haven't had time to blog. I'll try to recap

Sat.
- Ate at Dillions with Frank....good food pretty waiter......
- Went to Bashas for fortune cookies
- Went to Adam's house to prepare cookie
- Went to Mazda to test drive RX-8...dissapointing.....
- Helped Adam wash his car, then went to car wash...
- Went to my house to prep MDX
- Took quickest shower ever and got to Vicky's house at 7:15

Ok from there I'll be a little more descriptive...

Ok so the original plan was to go to PF Changs.....it was all set up in my head....too bad when we got there it was packed like no other...I think it was an hour wait, so I decided to go to the best chinese restaurant I know...great wall....so I go knowing they have plenty of seating and low and behold, they have closed it off cuz they have a wedding.....crap so I tell Vicky that I have a craving for Chinese food and that were going to the Dragon Inn (known for not having Asian people not eating there)....bad sign....I guess it was a mixed blessing cuz It gave us a lot of time to talk and get to know each other better.....I guess that's my big strength I need to focus on. When you unshell me, then you get to know the real me....So anyways the food at Dragon Inn sucked.....lol pretty embarrasing, I tell Vicky that I was gonna ask her where the bathroom was, I took two minutes trying to explain to her that I wanted to switch cookies... Vicky was in view but couldn't hear us. Finally I start to head back to my seat but I realize I told her I was going to the bathroom so I turn and kinda yell out "where is the bathroom".....lol so I go and go back to my seat and vicky goes to the bathroom while I kick myself in the head....Finally Bill time comes and I see that one cookie is wrapped, the other one isn't. I immediately jump at the wrapped one and she notes that the other one isn't wrapped. Trying to save face I tell her it's probably good and promptly gives her the fortune cookie. So she opens it and she says "of course I'll go" much to my delight. Then she tells me that things seemed fishy cuz of my craving of chinese, the talking to the waiter, and me snatching the wrapped fortune cookie and handing her the unwrapped one.....So afterwards we get in the car and go to my house to watch some home movies cuz she wanted to see me as a little kid and to see our soph homecoming. Yeah I couldn't find the cord though so we just watched tv. We then went to the movies and watched Once uPon a time in mexico. I was contemplating trying to hold her hand or something but we went with a bunch of peeps and I wasn't sure if it was time so we just watched the movie. Oh yeah afterwards she saved my life because I was about to run into a car but she pulled me back..... I'm not gonna rush things but I want to try and do something next week and then go to the state fair the week after......

Ok so now back to brief recap of Sun

- Church
- Went to Adam's
- Beat Jeffry at Madden
- Went to Jeffry's house (cool soph kid)
- went to Jason's house to do homework
- Steph came over and we hung out and talked about Vicky and me

Today nothing much happened except I know I'm gonna fail my test tomorrow....

Fun Times Despite Altered Plans

Song Of The Day- Lil Jon - Get Low
Currently Feeling- Nervous
This Day In History- Hmmm....well the house was going under some renovations....yeah that was a bitch I remember. Also I finally discovered I really liked Tawni but I was torn because 1. I didn't want an awkward friendship and 2. The past with Ian..... Also I talked about Jason and Lesly's homecoming and how he wanted me to go with Leah so that he wouldn't be alone....

Well lets see Thurs nite I confirmed plans with Vicky....lol I'm really excited.....

Fri was a good day, I got thru school with a very good mood. I talked to Rich who I haven't talk to in a while.....yeah he thinks I'm really weird for listening to punk now. Unfortunately my weekend almost crumbled within the the afternoon Fri.... Frank and me went to Adam's house. We were playing Madden, and I was absolutely dominating Adam and Frank was making his usual comments.....but then Adam got real pissed at the comments and it got real quiet. After we played Frank left and Adam starting looking at the tutorials then he made me play again. He then started talking about how Frank was a bitch and how he was gonna start giving him shit that Frank doesn't like talking about. I was trying to calm him down but Adam seemed really pissed so I left as soon as possible. I went home and I was really excited about tonite because I haven't hung out with Tawni since school started not counting going to cousins. Anyways Tawni called and I could tell as soon as she said hi that something was up. She was having her cramps and she could barely move. So yeah I tried to hide my dissapointment although probably not too well. But she suggested that we could just order some food then bring it over at eat at her house. So I went to Chili's, I drove by cousins and I saw Adam and Jason. They called me up but I sounded really dissapointed so I got off quick. At Chili's I was waiting in line and the guy in line gave me some good advice, call instead of wait in line cuz it's quicker....so i did and I went back to Tawni's house. We hung out at her house and just talked until it was time to pick up the food. I picked up the food and went back and we ate. I had a really nice time just talking and hanging out and by the end of the nite I wasn't really dissapointed. I was just happy that I got to spend some time.......I then went to Adam's house and Jason,Frank,Steph came over and we watched Empire...I didn't stay long cuz I felt really tired, so I went home signed up for Nov SAT and went to sleep.....

Today the plan is I'm gonna go to Dillions with Jason and Frank. Make or insert fortune message. Then tonite go hang out with Vicky.......HOpefully she doesn't have cramps....or else to hell with doing stuff with girls.....just joshin ya

Random Things....

I have to go to Claim Jumpers sometime this week

Fortune Cookie

Song Of The Day- Brian Mcknight - Love Is
Currently Feeling- Excited
This Day In History- No Post

Well yesterday was a pretty fun day. I went to Cousins to help Tawni with her math although she yelled at me. I stayed til close so that I could help Tawni close since Emily was feeling kinda sick. She was talking about how I should get a job there cuz if I did I would have made $20 but instead I did manual labor for free but it was cool..Yeah it was cool hanging out there cuz I really haven't done that in a little bit. Yeah I told Tawni about the whole thing with Jason and Adam giving me crap about a lot of stuff lately. Yeah Tawni also wanted to know what else I've been keeping from her but it's something that I have to observe because if I told her then she may act differently which would mess up whether or not it's true or not. But I think it's good and I have a good feeling about it, I just dont' wanna jump to conclusions. Yeah maybe I should of gotten a job at cousins cuz i was there pretty much the whole time.... After work I hung out with Tawni in the rain until her mom showed up. We talked about what we were gonna do in the future. Her mom didn't come so I dropped her off at home, then I went to Adam's to play Madden. Yeah the 1st game I lost in OT but I recovered.....My saints defense needs improving. Anyways I got home kinda late but my parents were cool....

Today I was really excited. In journalism I had the whole period to come up with what I wanted to do to ask Vicky to homecoming. I wanted to do something special but not to lovey dovey cuz that would be inappropriate so I finally came up with the conclusion of a fortune cookie. It's perfect. I asked Mr. COmbs if he knew where I could get one and yeah the class started offering suggestions.......In college prep, it was Hamlet reading....I guess I was acting really excited about the weekend cuz 1. I rarely get to hang out with Tawni outside of school. 2. I'm hopefully gonna hang out with Vicky. 3. I get to see if my fortune cookie plan plays out right..... Photo I finished my stuff, Kristen told Nicole about my plan and they were talking about how cute it was. Lunch I got a lot of crap from Jason....heh ok this is what happened, Adam was angry at me cuz I wasn't gonna enter in the NFL pool because I was gonna spend a lot of money this weekend. Jason then asks if I was gonna pay for Tawni which I said probably, then he gets into this whole rant about how I shouldn't and what not. heh yeah I've been the target for the past couple days....so yeah also the past two days I've walked the other way...lol.....5th period the quiz was hard as hell........After school I dropped off Barbie then went to math tutor.....It was cool, the plan for today is drop sis off at JV game, go to Cousins to drop off Coheed and Cambria cd to steph, then call Vicky to confirm plans for this weekend.

Random Things....

Tawni puts stuff on my planner...hmmm the funniest was that under emergency numbers she put her under there so in case I get shot or what not, Tawni better be there to come get me......

Yeah your probably noticing the music, I'll be changing it every update. So if ya have any suggestions then leave a message but it has to be at least semi -popular.....

Right now I'm at a high but I also have a little doubt. If she has plans for this weekend I hope my confidence isn't shot.....

Hmmm I read this article Tawni gave me about overthinking...it was right on the mark except it was aimed more towards women....

Tawni- I'm paying no matter what you say.......

6th Month Anniversary Of Jason And Steph

Song Of The Day- Outkast - Hey Ya
Currently Feeling- Good
This Day In History- None

Well last nite nothing really happened.....just chilled at home...

Today I had to go to school early for the Deca club. I got a chance to talk to Jason about today and I really am not sure what he's doing.....In Journalism, I got assigned to do restaurant review, so after deciding I can't eat anywhere that serves a lot of carbs, we finally concluded on a Ribs showdown between a corporate business vs. Dillions (locally owned, Brontosaurus Ribs). In english we did silioquies (spelling?) and then Tawni wants to go eat dinner on Fri so it looks like we'll go to Claim Jumpers. Then on Sat afternoon, I'm gonna go with Frank and maybe Jason to go eat at Dillions to eat their ribs. Then on Sat night, hopefully Vicky and me go out and do something, where I'm planning for the basic dinner and movie combo. I'm still not sure if I'm gonna ask her to homecoming this weekend or not, but I decided to go for the safe route for the time being and then from there we'll see. Photo sucked today cuz I really didn't get much of anything done. Lunch was normal except Jason, Frank, and Adam were giving me crap about something. Calc was the same.....The plan for today is ???? WHatever comes up I guess....

Random Things.....

Ok so here's my plan, probably tomorrow I'll talk to either Heidi or Vanessa and ask them if Vicky has a date to homecoming or if someone else is planning on asking her. If it looks like I'm the only one, I'll think of something good to do, if it looks like i have competition I'll go the normal route....

Yeah this weekend is gonna be expensive if everything goes thru as expected. Were looking at going to eat out 3 times, 1-2 movies, not to mention if I spend anything else...oh well i'm set for it I guess cuz I've been quite frugal since school has started. Next week I'm planning on dropping about $150 to get my playstation online.

I swear Jason was weirding me out by what he was saying to me. Yeah I wasn't quite sure if he was joking or not but I was surprised he was quick to give his impression on the matter. It didn't help that Adam and Frank were bugging me about it too. Yeah and it seems every small thing I do, they are looking out....it's like they think there is a conspiracy going on.

Last night I was working on an Outkast cd..... and it looks like either a new slow jamz cd or maybe a modified slow jamz 17 cd........

Happy 6th month Jas and Steph!!!!!!

Nothing Out of the Ordinary

Song Of The Day- Deborah Gibson - Lost In Your Eyes
Currently Feeling- Borderline
This Day In History- Nothing

Well my post got lost so I'll give you the short recap. Journalism we got to pick our newspaper assignments. I'm either doing movie review/girls cross country/state fair. English Tawni wasn't there and we read Hamlet act 3. Photo we took notes. Calc is a bitch now cuz it's getting real hard. Afterschool I went to the doctor to get my body fat test and I lost 18 lbs and 2% in 2-3 weeks. I then met up with Amber to go to Math Tutor. This kid was annoying me cuz he kept making fun of the kid I was helping but there is nothing I can do. I then did some homework, called Tawni to see how she was doing. Yeah I guess it's ashthma season. I then just watched tv....

Random Things......

I'm a little antsy about this weekend. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do quite yet. Amber thinks I'm gonna do something special, my cousin says I should do something special. Then Jason's mom has been on my case bout homecoming. I think it was her though that said I shouldn't ask her til next week. However I'm not falling for that bullshit this year. Timing has always been against me and I have made it a mission not to fall under a casualty of timing again which is why I've taken more of a affirmative approach with this. I was thinking state fair but it's still a little while off. I don't have anything concrete yet but I'm pretty sure whatever I do it won't be ordinary and will have some flair as only I can give it.

This whole love songs launchcast has pretty good music but so far everything they have played I have.

Tomorrow is Jason and Steph's 6 month......The wait is over Steph although I'm a little dissapointed he's not gonna go thru with Emily and my idea.

Not everything is all peachy though, I've been thinking, well maybe not thinking per say but more like reflecting...

A Quiet Sunday

Song Of The Day- Dido - White Flag/ Carpenters - Close To You
Currently Feeling- OK
This Day In History- Hmmm well I watched Yu-gi-oh, got something to eat at Jamba Juice, Christie kept telling me that I liked Tawni, then I picked up Adam and hung out with Alex

Well yesterday was kinda of a weird day. I called Adam cuz I wanted to play Madden but when I came over we picked up Dusty then my sis called and wanted me to pick her and her friends up so I told her to meet me up at Bucca De Beppo. We went to the hotel so Dusty could get some money and we picked up Barbie and friends. I dropped them off at my house and asked my dad to drop them off cuz I had to catch a movie in 15 minutes. So we picked up Frank and we were off to watch Underworld. I'd say surprisingly it was a pretty good movie and the ending wasn't that bad although I could see where they started relying more on action then story. Also was it me or did he look like a blue Hulk.....

Today not much happened, watched football. My sis told me the stories of how all my friends came up to her and asked if she was ok....lol pretty funny.....I went with Jason to go do some stuff. Then we went back to my house to do some other stuff. Then I went to Church with my sis and cousin and fiancee. I talked to Tawni for a little bit about Edgefest and Frank's party. I then returned the movies from Hollywood video and went to Fry's to get some bubblemint orbit gum but I saw Mrs. Lovett so I left abruptly......

Random Things.....

Just a while ago I wrote in my journal about some stuff I had to get some stuff off my chest....... I really write a lot of stuff on it.......

I'm listening to LANCHcast Love Songs Radio....pretty good I'm trying to get some new music to put in a future slow jamz cd....I found this dido song really good, and right this moment I'm listening to Amy Grant - That's what love is for

Hangin With Steph

Song Of The Day- Uncle Sam - Don't Ever Wanna See You Again
Currently Feeling- OK
This Day In History- Well in HCT we had a field trip where I had to take this really big girl and I felt really bad for Nat and Becky who were in the back. Also I went to Rosario's for dinner......

Well yesterday I hung out with Steph for majority of the day. Everyone was working so I came over and we hung out at her house so I could see all her gifts she has planned. We then dropped off her sis at her friends house and went to the mall to get edgefest tickets for my sister. We then went to Cousins for a long time.....yeah Paul was there and yeah I was pretty quiet. We picked up Adam and then went to Rosarios to eat dinner. Pretty cool but Steph had a fly in her food so she had to get a new plate. Afterwards I picked up Dusty and then dropped them all off so I could do some chores. Marianne came home and chatted with her for a little bit. Frank called and I picked them all up. We got there and Frank picked up Kaylee. We watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail then Steph, Jason, and me went back to Jason's house so we could pick up some beer. We came back and chilled some more until Paul, Tawni, Emily, Cam, Mike, Jimmy, Kim arrived. They set up the tarp and the baby oil and some peeps started wrestling. It was cool, then Adrian, Matt, Adam, Philip, and a couple other peeps came. I dropped of Kaylee, she's pretty cool, not exactly what I expected. I then dropped off Adam and Dusty. I wasn't gonna come back but Jason wanted me to come back in case the party got out of control I could enforce it. By the time I came back then were about to leave. I stayed for about 10 more minutes then I left.

Today I called Amber and Tawni to see what was up for Edgefest since they were in charge of watching over Barbie. They were gonna eat lunch so I decided to just drop them off and give them phone numbers. Jason saw me on the road on his way to get gas and wanted me to come by later and help him with some stuff. I went home and chilled until he called then he picked me up and we did "stuff". We went back to his house for a little bit then he dropped me off cuz he had work. I then pretty much chilled with Marianne til she had to go back to Tucson. Yeah so that leads me to now. The plan for tonite is I guess to go to Amber's house then go see Underworld.....

Random Things......

Last few days I've come to realization about something. I dunno it's kinda sad but I guess I'll have to adjust and learn to accept.......

I finally talked to my cousin...yup I'm really anxious about playing him in Madden......last year I was the Bucs and he was the Raiders and they ended up going to the super bowl.....this year I'm the Saints and he's the chargers....

Plan R2 Reborn

Song Of The Day- Homegrown - Waiting On Me
Currently Feeling- Good
This Day In History- Well my cousin got back together with his ex Ricciee...of course that lasted like a week or two. Tawni came back and was acting real happy. We had club pics for HCT, and I watched Frailty with my dad.....

Well last nite I talked to Tawni for a while, mainly about the website and what not...oh yeah and also her mom....lol visual images haunting me.... I then wrote my longest journal entry of about 2 pages.

Today 1st period Mr. Cooms let us listen to music. He's a cool teach. 2nd period we just watched more Hamlet. I had Tawni pick a word for me to decide if I was gonna make a move today in terms of plan r2. It landed on Y.....too bad she makes it so difficult for me by using big words and always tries to distract me. 3rd period I had to work my ass off for my prints....they came out pretty good though....Calc was the same ole, I told Jason that I would call Vicky tonite.....I then went to the NHS meeting, then I went with Amber to math tutor. Yeah it was cool but kinda hard working with the child who didn't know english too well. Yeah I tried to speak to her in spanish....lol not very good....Amber got playfully angry cuz I had so much pics of Tawni in my wallet and none of hers, but she liked my baby pic with Marianne. Afterschool I kinda lounged at home. I took a nap and did my homework while helping my sis in science. I called Vicky to make plans but she's going to Philidelphia tomorrow til Tues but the good news is that were gonna go do something next weekend which is really cool.

Random Things.....

This weekend Frank's house is the place to be since his parents are gone. Almost everyone is gonna get wasted so I'll be the designated driver if needed since I don't want to drink.

Unwarranted Shit Talking

Song Of The Day- Atlantic Starr - Always
Currently Feeling- A little angry but otherwise alright
This Day In History- Tawni didn't go to school for a couple days and I talked about how I was hoping she'd be there the next day. Also my cousin was looking for a hubcap to steal.

Well I'll get to my day in a little bit but I gotta vent bout something real quick. I checked out this website which was pretty much a bunch of peeps who talk shit and talk about who they would want to fuck. Yeah and I found a post under who was ugly or a bitch. And I know for a fact that it was Ian because that is who he'd put. 2/3rd of those names I know he'd put. I felt compelled to write back cuz I have my friends back and cuz I know as well as he does that that shit isn't necessary. Anyways I replied back pretty much that he should stop talking shit cuz it's gay and that the whole shit talking over the internet is gay and if you have something you want to say about somebody, you keep that shit to yourself or to tell that person and deal with it. Anyways I'm gonna be checkin to see if he got the message cuz I have no problem telling him who wrote it if he doesn't know already.

Ok Sorry about that, I just had to vent a little. Ok so today was a mixed bag for me. I didn't do my math homework because i didn't know how to do it. So 1st period I had Crumb and he was pissing me off cuz I had nothing to do the whole class period cuz I had done all my homework so I ask him if I can go get my math homework to do something productive. He says no until the last 20 minutes of class when I know there is not gonna be any time left for me to do it. 2nd period we read Hamlet. I had to read a good amount of lines because I was a nice guy and let Tawni have the none speaking role. 3rd period, I had to work overtime to get my pictures to finish. Kristen and me were also bitching about Crumb in the dark room...pretty funny....Lunch not much out of the ordinary, I reminded Jason not to procrastinate and that I've gotta start "helping" him with some stuff.....Calc I finally understood what to do. I also confronted Jason about reading my blog and although he denies it he had this goofy grin on his face that makes me think otherwise....I then talked to Tawni after school in the parking lot about the website. I went to get Edgefest tickets for my sis at Fry's but they were closed but I got a chance to talk to Devon. He's a cool kid from my church that I haven't seen in a while. After that I went home and got on the internet and said what I had to say then I blogged which leads me to now.... My plans for today are....I have none really, get tickets for my sister at Arrowhead (10 minutes), Homework (10 Min), Jason's gift (10 min)....so that leads me with a long free time....

Random Things....

I have appointed Tawni to watch over Barbie and make sure that she doesn't talk to any shady guys.......

I need to start talking to some peeps I hung out with last year but haven't so far this year. Mike, Jeff, etc but a lot of peeps are busy with football...

Grumpy's

Song Of The Day- Kai - Heart To Heart
Currently Feeling- OK (I'm hoping I'm not jinxing anything by saying I'm feeling ok)
This Day In History- No Post

Well last nite the only thing I did was create slow jamz 17. After that I helped out Adam with his Fafsa, then I played Madden.

Today was a good day but I can't say I'm feeling good although I am because as I have learned it could always be temporary. First period I took a quiz and killed it no sweat. Then 2nd period we had a fire drill. It was cool I got a chance to talk to Tawni although she made me realize that I'm wearing a purple shirt. lol also I've realized that Frank's got very feminine hands.....3rd period I worked my ass off to finish my photo crap....Calc was a bitch today, this is the first lesson that I don't know what the hell I"m doing. Afterschool I went to the key club meeting. I had to drive to Target and I drove by Cousins but I decided not to go in yet. So I went home and did my homework although I didn't have a clue how to do it. I then went to Cousins, and hung out with Steph and Tawni. Will and Steph, really gonna kill each other one day. I then went to Steph's house for an hour looking and helping with her "gift". She tried to get me to tell Jason's gift to no avail. I then went back to Cousins and kept Tawni company while she closed. I waited with her til her mom came then I went back home.....that's bout it.

Random Things.....

Yeah....Steph and Jason's 6 months is on the 23rd.....exciting times.....

Now that a certain "anniversary" has passed I think I have regain majority of my old composure although I can't say I'm 100% but after tonite I'm about 80%.....

Slow Jamz 17!!!!

Well It took me all day to make but I made it, slow jamz 17

1. Kai - Heart To Heart
2. Backstreet Boys - Spanish Eyes
3. Expose - You (Getting Over Me)
4. Aerosmith - I Don't Wanna Miss A Thing
5. Michelle Branch - It's You
6. Mariah Cariah - My All
7. Atlantic Starr- Always
8. Celine Dion and R. Kelly - I'm Your Angel
9. Michelle Branch - Find Your Way Back
10. Fleetwood Mac - Crystal
11. Elton John - Can You Feel The Love Tonight
12. Ashanti - Rain On Me
13. Mariah Carey - I've Been Thinking About You
14. Michelle Brach - Til I Get Over You
15. Mariah Carey - I Can't Live Without You
16. Fleetwood Mac - Songbird
17. Mariah Carey - I'll Be There
18. En Vogue - Don't Let Go
19. S Club 7 - Never Had A Dream Come True (finally broke down on the song)

Pretty good mixes on the type of songs.....

Advertising at School

Song Of The Day - Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day
Currently Feeling - Mediocre
This Day In History - I had this really weird dream about saving Tawni from a toxic dust cloud.....yeah weird dream.....

Well last nite I went to Church with my sister. On the way home this asshole tries to cut me off but I don't let him but that doesn't stop him from trying to merge into me. Anyways he goes back into the other side of me and opens his window and starts talking shit to me. I was hesitant to say anything really bad to him cuz his wife and kid was there so all I told him was he didn't need to speed especially with his family in there. Yeah I was so pissed at that fucker but I guess I'll let by-gones be by-gones. After that I hung out at home for a little bit. Adam then picked me up and we picked up Dusty, then we went to my house to eat dinner then played Madden....yea I won the red baron ringtone back....

Today was an alright day, I think it would have actually been considered good but something in my head seems to still tell me something is awkwardly off. Anyways first period nothing much, 2nd period we went to a senior assembly where the guy was trying to sell his shit. It was one big commercial where he tried to come off where he actually cared....hmmm....yeah I sat next to Tawni but I felt bad cuz Amber and Paul saved her a place and I wasn't sure if she wanted to sit next to them but felt obligated to sit next to me. Anyways 3rd period I did my reflections of my picture, Yvonne dropped out of the class but she's gonna let me borrow her camera. I sit next to this girl named Janell and she' pretty cool......Afterschool I went and did the math tutor business with Amber. I feel good after doing it, like I'm making a difference with the kids......hmmm I don't have much to do today, my homework takes 5 minutes to do then I have free time up the wazoo.....

Random Things......

Hmmm my plans are I wanna buy and I-pod but there flippin $300 so I don't know if I'm gonna go thru with it.

I'm thinking up a new slow jamz list slowly but surely.....

Cheated Out Of A Victory

Currently Feeling - Decent
This Day In History - I wrote about my TB test, and I started noticing some stuff. Also I went to Hooters for early release.

Well last nite, I went to the De La Hoya fight. He had the fight the whole way and everyone agreed that De La Hoya had won. However when it came to decision, Sugar Shane had won 115-113......it was really gay....anyways after that Jason called and I thought that Adam, Frank, Dusty, Jason, and me were gonna watch Once Upon A Time In Mexico but Jason said he was watching Cabin Fever with Steph, Mike, Chelsey, Tawni, Paul, and Amber. Well Adam and Dusty didn't want to go and I finally made a decision to drop me off at the movie. Frank called and I got him to come.......well that movie blew ass. It really did suck, it wasn't scary so much as it was grusome....and it was too grusome even for me. Then at the end it was like they gave up and just wanted to get some laughs....Well after the movie we all went our separate ways and Frank dropped me off......Today I don't have anything planned.....I know what today is so I'm planning on keeping my distance from it so that my decent mood doesn't shift.....

A Second Wind

Song Of The Day - Allister - Scratch
Currently Feeling - In between Melancholy and OK
This day in History - None

Well since I'm in a good mood (compared to the last 3-4 weeks) I'm in a more upbeat mood to blog. hmmm well to recap I talked to Tawni about my problem and at least I have a new sense of hope that I have better days ahead of me. Yesterday I was in a better mood although I'm trying to distance myself from the "anniversary". Afterschool Barbie and me went to Circuit city to get a ethernet adapter. So I now have cable and not that shitty dsl. I was gonna hang out with Adam but decided not to and I went to Cousins and hung out with Steph and Emily for a while. I went to Joanne's to look for some golden fabric for Emily. She's making hot pants for Cam because they are going to the Rocky Horror Picture Movie thing. They invited me but I don't think that's my type of thing. Anyways after that I went back home and read "love in the time of cholera"... it's a very good book and I recommend it to anyone. I then played some Madden, Adam called but he has gonna sleep at 8 while Frank called at 10:15 and tried to make plans for today. Jason was hanging out with Steph. Anyways the plan for today goes nothing in the afternoon, then gonna watch the La Hoya fight, then watch either Cabin Fever or Once Upon a Time In Mexico. I should probably put an asterik with those plans though because my friends always have conflicting schedules so who knows.......let's just say my day is up in the air.

Random Things.......

Everyone is have some version of their anniversary. I'm helping Jason and Steph with their anniversary. And I'm trying to steer clear of the "other" anniversary. I'm trying to avoid falling in a dark hole again.

In terms of Homecoming and Plan R2....everything is up in the air, I swear Vicky is the hardest person to get a hold of on the weekend. But I still have more than a month to make a successful move or think of something else.....

Sorry For The Lack Of Updates

Currently Feeling - Worse
These Days In History - Well to sum it up, although you can't really read it, part of me was beginning to change. And also Tawni moved up in my ranks because I refered to her by name although I spelled her name wrong "tawny"

Well I haven't updated in a week but in that time almost nothing good as happened and the fact is I don't ever remember feeling so shitty in myself than I have now. And the fact is that I just don't know what to do anymore. I just feel that there is no answer and that something very dear to me is slowly dissapating right before my eyes. I don't know schools been in for five weeks now and each week I have sunken deeper and deeper. And it's all because of a flaw in me that I can't not fix even after a year whas passed.


I'm sorry I just had to get some of that out. I'm sorry, other than that not really much has happened. It's all quite irrelevent right now......well hopefully I'll be in the mood to blog later on.....well at least I've blogged again.

A New Poem

Song Of The Day - Early November - Every Night Is Another Story
Currently Feeling - Gloomy
This Day In History - 3 Songs of the day, last year this day was also a turning point for me. I realized something was different in me, feelings I didn't feel in a long time were uncovered although at the time I still didn't know what caused the reaction.

Well today has sucked once again. The day in general was alright but the feeling behind today and every other day has been gloomier and gloomier. It's causing me to act different and more angrier at times. I dunno we'll see how everything turns out sooner or later...... Anyways 1st period we did a bunch of writing, 2nd period we have to do a scene from a play from Hamlet tomorrow. 3rd period I got a picture to go through so all I have to do is reverse it. Math we took a quiz and i did alright. Afterschool I had to find Barbie so that I could tell her that I had an NHS meeting. Anyways yeah, Amber and me are going to go do math tutoring for Pioneer Elementary next Tues after the Key Club meeting. Yeah it's cool that Amber's back to her old self. She's back to her fun self I guess you could say. Anyways today yet again I have no plans so i'm just gonna chill at home....

Random Things....

I took Tawni's Curious George head hostage but I gave it back to her but she still hasn't let me borrow the cd's....

Yeah in first hour I wrote a new poem......I didn't finish it although I know how it ends but it's kinda sad and gloomy. But I have realized that I only write poetry (half decent ones at least) when I have reached a certain threshold in my thinking compacity and it reflects what I think about. Anyways if I have time tonite I'm going to finish it up but I'm still torn on whether not I'm going to show anyone but if I do I guess I'll post it. I only did as something for a peace of mind.

Vampires

Song Of The Day - Homegrown - Second Best
Currently Feeling - Close to Melancholy
This Day In History - Still No Movement

Well last nite I burnt Homegrown cds, Juliana Theory cd's....I talked to Tawni about borrowing the missing slow jamz so that I'm not missing any cd's. Today in first period I felt like passing out, 2nd period was boring too cuz we started Shakesphere. 3rd period was boring yet again, lunch I'm a little worried cuz I told my friends that August had sucked for me so Jason is leading the charge to make my Sept. better. lol I hope he was joking. Calc was boring....afterschool I went to the blood lab. I almost threw up cuz i was getting frantic....I got to piss in a cup, then came the shot. The girl was real nice and commented on my new shirt. I had to take off my glasses and hold curious george to my face. She thought it was cute that Tawni gave it to me to hold but then she kept joking around that I made it up and it's actually mines....I then went to Prestige and boy did my pics suck....I went to Circuit City cuz I saw paul at Cousins and I have been in no mood to hang out in a situation like that so i played Soul Calibur for a while. I then went to Cousins and hung out with Steph and Tawni. Now I'm home just chillin.....

Random Things.....

My friends are all saying that I've been a lot more angrier lately......

Plans...Plans....plans...

Plan R2.....I don't know...

A New Month: So Far Same Results

Song Of the Day - Boyz II Men - Do You Remember
Currently Feeling - Melancholy
This Day In History - No Movement In Blog

Well last nite I vented as much I could in my blog to no avail. I'm at a general loss.

Anyways today was bordering on sucks, 1st period same ole, 2nd period we worked on papers, 3rd period we had a sub that looked like the prinicipal from the "breakfast club" Calc same ole......Afterschool I was gonna talk to Vicky but I got intercepted. No homework tonite.....

Random Things......

I've done a cd checklist and I'm missing slow jamz 6, 14, michelle branch (steph), Saves the Day (Jason), and drive mix 3

I don't feel like bloggin anymore, last nite I was on the verge of deleting this blog but I ended up not.

Quizzes

Everyone remembers the 'faked-orgasm-in-a-deli'
sequence from your kind of movie When Harry Met
Sally. It seems that you're falling for a buddy
or have already fallen for them. Uh-oh. You're
probably caught between the possibility of
having a great relationship and wrecking the
one you have now. You know what they say, it's
better to regret something you did than
something you didn't do.


What Romance Movie Best Represents Your Love Life?
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You are Love.

You love life, you love all those around you and
the world that you live in. You are happiest
when you are doing something for someone else
or for the common good of mankind.


What Emotion Are You?
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You are Romans.


Which book of the Bible are you?
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Feels Like Dec 2002

Song Of The Day - George Jones - He Stopped Loving Her Today
Currently Feeling - Melancholy
This Day In History - Hmmm well Marianne came back, I almost got pulled over but the cop was too lazy. Played Adam in Madden 03..killed him....just like present day....

Well let's see yesterday was ehhh........ well I called Vicky but she already had plans for Sun so it looks like it's back to the original plan of next week. Jason keeps yelling at me to slow down when leaving cuz I would run into her that way. Anyways after that I told Jason that Seabuscuit was off for the nite. Jason came by and picked up Frank and me. We went to Red Robin for lunch and we recapped the nite before. Adam dropped by towards the end and we just hung out. We went to Frank's and hung out there for a while. Jason dropped me at my house so that I could pick up my car then went back to Frank's. Frank had to work so we went back to Adam's house. We hung out there and played Madden for a long time. After that we picked up Long and went to Dusty's hotel room. We hung out there then we went to drop off long and we hung out at Adam's again. We were gonna shoot pool once Frank got off work but he forgot to call. I called it a nite around 10...... I called Jason to see if he wanted to hang out but he had plans with other peeps so I didn't invite myself....

Today, I got some new clothes, then I hung out at the house. I did my homework and then I went to Cousins for a salad, and now I'm back home again.....

Random Things.....

Tomorrow possibly I have to get my blood drawn......I'm starting to feel it again......

The reason for the title "Dec 2002" is that since school started I've had this melancholy feeling throughout most of school and for that matter Aug. If you look though August I've had a few good days but the next day it's moves back down to ok or worse....Now the relationship between Aug 03 and Dec 02 is that Dec was the worst month for me last year. I felt so low and pitiful it kinda affected my general personality to go quiet and cold to everyone. Now to flash forward to Aug, the same pitiful feeling has come over me but not to that extreme yet. I feel like generally I'm getting quieter and colder to everyone..... I can't quite put my finger on a reason because I don't know why I'm feeling that way that strongly. Dec I had a reason to be melancholy...... Just it's one of the worst emotions for me to go through...... Hmm I have a feeling after all is said and done Aug will be another month that I will never read again.