The Attraction

Song Of The Day- Marquez Houston - Clubbin
Currently Feeling- Great
This Day In History- 28th - I got delayed on the trip to Cali....29th - We officially got the MDX.....

Well the past couple days have been really good. Steph called me over to Cousins to vent because Jas wasn't there....So I'm Jas #2...lol heh.....I also got to talk to Tawni and such as her, Paul, Frank, and Amber were going up to the cabin the next day. i stayed for a bit but I left so that I could hook up my ps2 online adapter. After a couple hours it was set. It is sick....I killed my first three opponents but they cheated and quit...

The next morning I went back to Cousins so that I could drop off a boyz II Men cd to Tawni, I said goodbye and whatnot and they were supposed to call when they got there but didnt' so hopefully they are alright. I then went to Church with my sis and guess who sits in front of me....yes Regina....I had that weird gut feeling again, but i still wasn't sure if my sis were just overanalyzing her actions so I decided just to wait it out. After church my sis were laughing cuz they were talking about how obvious she was in trying to turn around and what not. I did give her a smile though and I guess I'll try to "accidently" get caught looking in her direction. Yeah so afterwards we went to In-n-out and I said my what's up to Chenda. I got my cabbage looking burger, then went home for a bit. I then went over to Adam's house where all of his relatives were over so I felt a bit weird. Jason then came over and we chilled and played video games. We then went back to my house to play Madden Online....After a while we went to Jason's house cuz I wanted to race his skyline against my 350z...the remote control type. His is sick and you can swap engines and what not, it was sick. It costs $50 and I wanna get one one day. Steph came over and we all chilled. They invited me to go see Somethings Gotta Give but I wanted to play video games and I was kinda tired so I declined.

Today I'm going to Cali for a couple days...I should be back on the 2nd......So I'll get a hold of everyone on the night of the 31st to wish everyone a happy new year.

Random Things.....

Gosh I can't help but feel a bit giddy in regards to Regina.... These are one of those times I wish I wasn't such a shybear, but if I want a shot I gotta get out of that habit. But if there is one incentive, from what I know about her and the few times I've talked to her, she is alot of what I look for in my ideal woman. She's a church going person who actually is there for God, she's pretty, she's a nice person......ahh need to snap outta my shybear mode.

Christmas Update

Currently Feeling- Good
This Day In History-23rd - Not Feeling Good.....24th - Christmas Eve, got Tawni and Marianne's gift...25th - Christmas, thus started my quest for the search of christmas spirit.....26th - I got Serendipity for Christmas, watched Two Towers...27th - Had to give Capt. Mallow for a little because I was going to Cali, lol my quote " I'm scared for him, I don't know how Bun Bun's gonna treat him".....

Well Christmas was good, It just seemed not as important as in the past. My sis got me 23 different panda stuffed animals which can be seen throughout my room. I also got my cologne Pleasures....My parents are going to get me the playstation internet adapter. In terms of what we did, we went to church, then we went to one of the nursing homes cuz we were hosting a party there. On Christmas day we watched Cold Mountain which was pretty interesting.....The day before Christmas in the morning, my friends watched LotR.....yeah it was cool movie although it made me twitch a little. Sorry I'm bouncing around days but it's kinda all coming to me. I hung out with Adam and played Live a couple times. Jason and Steph came over and I got another gift certificate along with candy so thanx Steph. I've also been playing Suikoden like a mug because my friends bought it for me and it's a sick game.

Random Things.....

I'm leaving to Cali on the 30th til the 3rd or 4th....

My sis' have been somewhat on my case to make a move on Regina.....

So Far, So Good

Currently Feeling- Good
This Day In History- 18th - It was one of those days when everyone had their own advice on the matter....19th- Amber convinces me to go to Glendale Glitters nad I hang out with the crew as usual.... 20th- So I let my pride get the better of me, I sort of raced Paul to Hooters and I ended up getting behind a slow ass van, so to compensate I kick the volvo up to about 110 mph more or less off the off ramp to catch up....fun times....21st- Hmmm it's funny how things are sometimes the same, I was planning on going to Adam's church's potluck, and I was also planning on watching the Lord of the Rings movie....22nd - The depression was pretty bad so I tried to occupy myself, umm I agreed to watch Amber's perverted Bun Bun..

Wow that's alot of old memories good and bad. THe funny thing is that I still remember some of the stuff like it was yesterday. Anyways since my last entry school has ended for a bit. Hmmm on Weds I went to Cousins for the first time in a while, I talked to Steph and Tawni and told Steph that I would go with her for X-Mas shopping, instead however I went with my family to eat at Ah-So with Sabrina working there. I then went grocery shopping at like 11 at nite, while I was talking on the phone with Tawni. She was scared to go to sleep because she was scared of the ghosts so I kept her company til she got tired....

on Thurs, we Adam, Frank, Steph, and me hung out at Jason's house. Steph and me then went to mall to do some shopping, we picked up Jason afterwards and went to Tawni's house. Jason got my gift and Steph got hers from Tawni.....I unfortunately don't get my present til Christmas Eve...After that we went to Steph's house to watch the Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Rings.....

On Fri i hung out with Long and Adam as we went to Alex's house to play the big Halo tournament....Adam pissed off Al's sis so we ended up moving it to Tommy's house....It was cool playing so with much peeps.....I then dropped off Long and Adam and took a nap...I called up Jas and we went back to Tommy's house. Tawni called while I was there so I left the game to go talk to her for a while. We were all supposed to see the new Lord of the Rings but she couldn't go.....She sounded obviously upset presumably about her mom, so I kept her company on the phone for a bit. Afterwards Jas and me had a mini heart to heart and I dropped off Jas at his house so he could spend some time with Steph....I went home and Adam and Anne came and visited me as we played Madden.....I crushed him like no other 94-7....Tiano I've improved.......

On Sat, it was actually quite a quiet day. I think I ended up just chilling at home for most of the time, I cleaned my room and what not....Adam and Anne then came over again as I killed him again. We then went to his house and watched the Santa Clause 2 which I like guiltily......I also tried to put my Nissan 350z remote control car together which Jas gave me....

Today was a real good day for me as well as a bit of a confidence booster....I went to church with my sis' and we ended up sitting behind Regina, this really pretty girl from my church class. I couldn't help but admire the way she was actually paying attention and what not....I dunno she seems different than all the other girls I usually giv my attention to....well at least from my standpoint. Anyways before communion where we greet those near us, I'm greeting and what not and she turns around and we shake hands and whatever and I give her a smile but don't get eye contact for long because I'm a shybear but I realize my sis' begin giggling....so were in the car, and I was asking at what they were laughing at and they tell me that she gave me the look when she turned around....don't really know what the "look" is but it made me feel dumb not to have given more eye contact. Oh well til next week I guess, I can't wait for church...

anyways afterwards we went to the great wall where I saw Frank and family along the way. I then went to Adam's house with Jason as we played super nintendo. We then picked up Anne and went to his church potluck....the food wasn't as good as last years but oh well. Afterwards we went back to his house and hung out for a bit. We then called up the crew to see who was up for the last samurai...it ended up being Adam, Anne, Frank, Aric, and me. the movie I thought was really good, but one review I read about it made me kinda upset. It talked about how the reasons for the war weren't noble enough to make it a compelling movie....well that is a very bold and ignorant statement because honor for the japanese especially samurai were the single most important thing in their lives. And I regret to say that no time in American life for a very long time has honor meant anything near as much compared to the Japanese in those days. So I thought it was a very foolhardy statement....

Random Things....

Tomorrow I dunno the plan since Frank's having surgery, Joel is in Mexico.....

hmmm yeah it's been a different winter break but it's been pretty good cuz I have been able to maintain that level of balance in myself. I've also hung out with a bunch of different peeps while maintaining the "crew"...heh....I gotta hang out with Sean and I also wanna hang out with Tawni before they leave for the cabin and me to Cali....

One More Day of School

Song Of The Day- Clay Aiken - Invisible (that's embarrasing)
Currently Feeling- Alright
This Day In History- The misery continued, with me unable to escape the news....

Yeah so today was pretty alright. I drove the BMW to school, took my journalism final and watched finding Nemo. 2nd period we watched Tess and the Ubervilles. Afterschool I went to Adam's house and played SNES until Frank went and then we went to best buy followed by In-N-Out. We met up with Jason and Steph and Frank, Adam, and me ate 5x5's. Afterwards we went to look at Tawni's gift. Then we went to TJ Max to make sure Adam's wallet was still there. We then went back to his house to play super mario world. Jason came over for a bit and played while I was on the phone with Tawni for a little. We then went to pick up my sis and her friends, then I dropped off Adam and Frank and now I'm home....

Random Things...

The last day of semester is over tomorrow....yes.....

I've been bugging about something lately. I've tried to avoid it but I dunno.....

I talked to Adam last night and we started talking about Frank and Amber. Yeah that brought up the slow decinegration of our group..... Jason doesn't hang out with the group as much which is understandable but I dunno it's weird.....I didn't expect Adam to say something like that.....

BMW Action

Currently Feeling- A Little Better
This Day In History- Well this day in history is one of those days that you try to forget. This day last year is the reason why Dec. last year was miserable for me....Let's just say that second wind was literally destroyed today.....

Ok so today was kinda up and down. It started off alright, my parents made me go to first hour, we did nothing in journalism, we were going to watch Pirates of the carribean but Kaitlin doesn't watch PG-13 movies so we didn't watch it. I would be a little peeved but she's really cool so I just studied Calc. 2nd period more speeches, Tawni said something she probably shouldn't have, as she said one of the few things that would make me really upset at her. I talked to her about it and she apologized so everythings hunky dory again. She just didn't know that saying stuff like that upsets me, as the rest of my crew knows. Photo didn't do anything, and Calc more finals, I did horrible on the extended response but I think I did alright on the non-calc part. Afterschool we got the beamer, although my parents said I can't put a lot of miles on it since it's technically my sister's car. I drove it and it's so nice, I dropped by Frank's and we were trying to figure all the buttons. Then later on I picked up Adam, Jason, and Steph, and we went on a little car ride. It was sick we got onto the loop, hit 100 easily, then went off thunderbird with no problem at all......I dunno if they'll let me drive it tomorrow but we'll see....

Random Things...

Marianne is coming tomorrow....yeah......

The thing that upsets me is when people say "oh you won't go because Paul's there" or "you don't do this because Paul's here"...it's just something I've learned to hate. I mean yeah it wasn't too long ago where it was a problem but it's not as big as an issue anymore. I know that were still kinda awkward around each other and don't really talk to each other a lot or at all but were far past a year ago. I dunno it was building up because Tawni said I wouldn't come to work because Paul was working, then when I went to Cousins Paul offered me a free salad which I really appreciated but I really wasn't hungry. And then today, yeah but I mean it's cool I guess since Tawni didn't knew it bugged me.....I still love ya Tawni.....

No Confidence But Feeling Much Better

Currently Feeling- OK
This Day In History- Went to a Louow (spelling?)

Ok so last night, I talked on the phone so long with so many different people, the phone just wouldn't stop ringing. I talked to Tawni for a while about stuff but I was still very upset as it was reflected in my voice. I let her go for a while cuz I had to pick up my sis from church. Then I talked to her again til I went to the nursing home to eat some food. I talked to Adam a little bit who was very upset too. I then called Tawni yet again and I talked about my problem. She was very helpful and made me feel better along with Jason's advice. Her and Amber then worked on their speech as Jason called and I talked to him for a while. I then checked up on Amber and Tawni to make sure they were still awake and whatnot. I finally helped Tawni finish her speech at 11 but unfortunately I didn't finish anything else so I was up til 1.

Today I felt better but I was still lacking confidence. My parents left to get my BMW. I didn't go to Journalism today, I did my speech and I thought it was pretty good. Afterschool I slept then went to Cousins and got Steph's b-day gift and talked to them for a while....

Random THings....

My parents aren't coming til tomorrow so yeah....

I had to ask Tawni about "what makes a good friend"....I think I needed to hear it..... I just needed to remember who were my good friends....

So tired cuz I had to do Calc stuff but alas I did help Tawnicita do her speech so it was worth it...

I developed some photos of Tawni, Steph, and Christie.....came out pretty good....

Thanx for the talk Tawni, I really appreciate it

Advice?

Currently Feeling- Sad/Mad
This Day In History- Nothing Much

Ok my week just seems to get worse. Today I ditched first period with Moses to go to eat at the Place..... Chad was there and I talked to him for a little. I then went to 2nd period and didn't really do much. I didn't even look up at the screen for more than a sec, I've just become very disinterested. We then went to the assembly as I sat next to Sean and Adam as they kept asking what's up.... In photo I finished my print although it had scratches on it. Oh yeah normally exposing paper with a negative would take 4 secs, since mine was so dark it took 350 secs......and then Calc we did the whole test correction business..... Afterschool I went to Mr. Davis' memorial....kinda sad as I started getting teary when they went over memories. I then went home, then go Jason's house to switch back Matrix's. Moses picked us up and Adam and we went to the mall and best buy. Moses then dropped Adam at his house and us back at Jason. Jason and me went to Wendy's to get something to eat. We started talking about why I was so pissed. Yeah he read my blog so I told him he has permission to. He then talked about how we don't tell him anything. Afterwards I dropped him off then hung out at home for a bit. I picked back Adam and we had to pick up my sis at Sunrise....yeah I got lost, but I did get to tell my sis' friend that Moses thought she was cute....lol....We then waited for Frank and then we met up with Moses, Al, and Tommy and watched Stuck on You....the movie isn't that funny....

Random Things....

Jason's advice for me was to just stop caring about it, and just letting things happen....not bad advice at all.....

I realized that I seem to have to problem with girls who have a boyfriend but I can't seem to convert that with girls w/o boyfriends.....

I'm sorry if I seemed angry at anyone this week, it just hasn't been my week.

Bad Mood

Song Of The Day- Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up
Currently Feeling- Not good
This Day In History- Everyone seemed Gung Ho about me saying something......

Damn today really sucked. It's funny how when things are good you know sooner or later things will balance off but when things are bad they tend to snowball endlessly. So I'm done with Journalism for the year. I don't have to show up anymore til Weds. My article is getting shortened yet again to make way for the brief tribute article which I won't get to write. 2nd period I just sat and thunk to myself. Photo I accidentally mixed the dev and fixer so that was pretty bad. Then the photos I need for my final are overexposed so my exposure time is going to take forever. Damn I was talking to Hubert and he was jokingly giving me crap about the whole chemical mixup and I told him not to play cuz I was getting pissed. I calmed down a little at lunch but I was still pissed and I did alright on the AP test but on the 2nd part of it, I thought it was extremely hard. Afterschool I went with Adam to the library and I don't know what I"m gonna do tonight but I don't have homework.

Random Things.....

Ok I need some confidence in general, not just when it comes to girls but academicely and whatnot. It's just taken such a licking cuz of my scholarship which hasn't come yet, and the increasing hardness of calc, and the weird reason why I have a B in photo. I second guess a lot of my answers lately because my default thinking is that I'm wrong. A couple weeks ago when my confidence was high everything was fitting into place and now it's gone.

With Frank and Amber possibly happening and even Adam has stuff going on, I'm also beginning to question what's particularly wrong with me. It's been a big slump.....

I've also come to the realization but haven't found the answer to something. My confidence I believe has to do with my "ST" thing. Either it's causing the lack of confidence, or I need to enforce it even more to regain my confidence. I'm still set on not saying what it is so just try to understand as much as possible.

RIP Mr. Davis

Currently Feeling- Bad
This Day In History- Yeah I dedicated Selena - I'm Dreamin Of You on power 92......yeah I felt soooo awkward

Well first I would like to recognize Mr. Davis, one of the english teachers at Cactus High School. He passed away last night from a major stroke so may all your prayers go to him. I personally did not know him that well but I don't remember ever hearing a negative thing about him from students. I did however, get a chance to interview him for my article and he seemed like an extremely nice person and I remember that I always wanted him to be one of my teachers. May God bless his soul and I'm sure he'll be in the minds and hearts of many.........

I'm still a little sad about it, I'm not quite sure why cuz I didn't really know him all too well. It's just that ever since I came to Cactus, I just remember people saying how they loved him as a teacher due to his eccentric personality. In journalism today, I was talking to Mr. Coombs and what I may end up doing is the tribute article. I really hope they go that way and I hope I get the opportunity to write it.

To make matters worse today wasn't a very good day, but actually quite the opposite. I found out that Frank officially likes Amber which I'm surprised yet I'm not. I'm actually a bit upset that he lied when I asked him but oh well. I don't know if anything will happen since she has a boyfriend but they are going up to a cabin so who knows. My personal opinion is that I think something will happen on the mountain but alas nothing will come out of it. Hmm....I did horrible on the math test but I think I did a good job on my practice AP test. My senioritis is killing me. I can't wait for this semester to be over because I'm tired of math and photo. I like the people in my class but I hate the class. Afterschool they cancelled the cobratown meeting, so I picked up Moses so I could get my carousel picture, then we went around so I could look for some gifts, I'm gonna go pick up a Christmas Angel on Mon.

Random Things.....

I've hit overthinking mode for the first time in a little but it's hit pretty hard. I dunno I've just done some thinking about a couple of things......

I'm not going to say all of what I'm thinking but I'll ask you a question "Who would you declare your real friend?"

Stupid Ass Old Drivers

Ok I really have to rant about something. So I'm on my way back from Moses house cuz it took him too long to get back so that I could take my damn pictures. So I'm on Greenway close to the school about to turn left on 67th and greenway. Ahead of me is a Buick loaded full of old people. They go into the turn lane about 100 yards away from the light so I think they are going into the neighborhood. But no they keep going and I think they are going to the gas station. They then proceed to slow down so I go to where people are supposed to switch into the turn lane at the light and the guy speeds up so I can't get in. The old lady sitting next to me gives me the stare of contempt. So I was pissed at that but alas people make mistakes, although they should stare at you like that for their mistake. So I go behind them as they go 35 mph but I can't switch lanes cuz the other lane is packed. So finally we pass the light on 67th and T-bird and were still in the same lane, they then proceed to slow down to 20 mph until they reach their turn lane, by then I was pissed and slammed on my horn...... There really is no point to this, I'm just pissed and I wanted to rant.

More Than Words

Song Of The Day- Extreme - More Than Words
Currently Feeling- Good
This Day In History- Rich found out I liked Tawni...scored a perfect score on my DBQ

Well I'm listening to More than words....been a little bit since I've listened to slow jams but it's coming back in a non romantic way. Anyways today was a pretty good day, I'm almost done with my journalism with only one day left before I'm done. I finished my course assesment and all I have left is my senior speech which I'll start tomorrow. Photo I'm still waiting to take a pic of the carousel. Now Calculus, I've abandoned hope of getting an A at least until the AP test but oh well. Afterschool I went to Tawni's house to take some pictures of her. She looked really pretty......afterwards I called Vicky and talked to her for a bit and asked her if I had a meeting. I then just really hung out at home just chilling.

Random Things....

Adam has brought to my attention that if somehow Frank and Amber mysteriously end up together as well as Adam and whoever he may go for, then I'll be the only person in my "crew" without a gf....damn but I've decided when i feel to go for something I'll do it, and not to get pressured to go in by someone else.

Plan G

Currently Feeling- Good
This Day In History- Watched two romantic movies (It's a wonderful life isn't technicially a romantic movie but I still really like the movie)..

Well last night I really didn't do much. I did some homework then played video games.

Today was a pretty good day. I finished my journalism final, got two pages on my Lord of the Flies essay done, still have to write my speech, finished the biography section of my photo final, still have to reshoot, took math test that I think I bombed.....

Ummm in terms of everything else I'm a little stressed about school. On terms of personal matters, My No ST plan seems to be going fine after last week I completely ignored it. So far no one has figured it out. Ummm I have to cut down on spending so I can buy the rest of my gifts, not to mention my christmas angel. I can't wait til this semester is over cuz I'm tired of calculus...I should of taken early release.....

Plan G...... I really have to work on reinstalling my confidence, cuz my confidence is still lacking quite a bit. I don't know what Plan G is yet but it'll be someway to get back my confidence.

The Week in Review

Song Of The Day- Warren G - What You Wanna Do
Currently Feeling- OK
This Day In History- 4th - Got a call from my cousin and gave me that second wind to tell her how I felt. 5th - Still in a great mood...6th - None....7th - Cat got my tongue...

Well this week has been pretty good...nothing too bad happened. Umm....Thurs I went to my sis' concert then I was over at Tawni's house helping her with her essay. Fri was pretty kickback with nothing really happening. Afterschool Adam, Moses, and me hung out for a while, then we picked up Al and Tommy and went to laser quest cuz I wanted to see the girl that Moses liked....We were there for an hour trying to get him to talk to her and he finally did so for a little less than a minute. Oh well afterwards we went to Metro to watch Elf. We snuck in a couple peeps, the movie was pretty good although not as funny as I have thought. The funny thing though is that Elf opened the same week as Matrix reloaded and so far Elf has made $5 million more than Matrix, not counting world-wide....

On Sat, Joel, Jason A, Jason B, Steph's sis and friend, Aric, and me went to the football game. We lost the state final game although it was close. Afterwards we went to In-N-Out and chilled there for a while. I then went home and took a nap. Later that night I went out with Frank, Jason B, and Joel and we watched Bad Santa...Now that is a damn funny movie. Some may not like it due to it's vulgar nature but I really enjoyed it.

Today I went to church with my mom and just doing some homework.

Random Things....

I haven't really talked to Vicky that much since we last did something. I'm gonna try to go out of my way to talk to her before things get too awkward....

I had a dream this morning that I learned that I only had 3 days to live due to a disease where I have too much platelets in me. It just made me wonder if I had three days to live, what would i do in those few days.

No More ST

Song Of The Day- Black Eyed Peas - Shut Up
Currently Feeling- Undecided
This Day In History- I really did the longest paragraph which essentially I "threw in the towel" in terms of trying anything.

Well last nite I had to go to cobratown's parents night with Moses. It was short then we went to Ray's Pizza for wings.

Today was an alright day nothing in particular happened I guess other than I feel like crap cuz I feel sick. Afterschool I had a cobratown meeting which was ok. Today I dunno what I'm gonna do except finish up my essay...

Random Things...

I've decided not to say who the spark girl is only because I highly doubt anything will come of it, because that is the first time I've really seen her all year so I guess I'll have to wait for that damned spark.

No more ST.....it should have a meaning only to me and I don't intend on telling anyone. It's a decision I have decided to make. No plans, no switching, I have to stick to this decision, although maybe few will notice.

Spark?

Currently Feeling- Weird
This Day In History- 1st - Got Michelle Branch cd....2nd - Well I had a clinical and got my ass lost....

Well yesterday was a good day I think...nothing really to note other than the fact that I got people gifts....

Today wasn't a bad day but more like a weird one...I'm sorry I can't go into detail but I felt a spark somewhere....I can't say who yet for a couple reasons.....Gosh I don't know about it though....

Other than that it's been normal.....I was also kinda pissed though about yesterday, just some stupid comments.....