Unresolved Issues and School: a foreign land

Song Of The Day - Boyz II Men - Never
Currently Feeling - Sleepy

Yesterday I was late to church, so I was only there for 30 minutes. I decided to ditch church class today and instead kicked it with Jason for a bit. He wanted to visit Steph at work so I joined him. Emily and Steph were working, and I was about to call Tawni since I haven't talked to her since the camping trip but low and behold she comes in for work. They all take a break and were just talking. Tawni gives me money so that I can get Paul boutinere (that was the errand that I ran). We go to the mall to find a store to fix Jason's watch but it's closed so we go to Flowerama. I already knew what I was gonna get and I had an idea of what I was gonna get for Tawni but the lady was so weird that I just let her pick whatever she wanted. She even talked to Tawni over the phone, she was just a little odd. After that I get dropped off at my house and I kick it at home for a while. Then I drop off my mom at church, my sis at the bowling alley, then to the bank to deposit some money, then to cousins to drop off some stuff for Tawni, then to church to pick up my mom, then to Carl's Jr. to eat with Adam, Frank, and Dusty, then to the bowling alley to pick up my sis. Then I talk to Tawni for bout an hour. I realize that I still have unresolved issues although not all of them have surfaced yet. Also I have a bad feeling about a couple peeps so I told her to becareful of them. I held back a little info on what it was about though. I talked about what Jason said and now I'm not confused on it anymore. I have come up with the conclusion that I don't have to change anything right now and that I don't think I would have to stop hanging out with Tawni cuz I really do have a really good time hanging out with her. Start working on my Bio notecards while watching The breakfast club (really good movie although never the best idea to watch it while doing homework). Tawni and me had to call each other to keep each other awake. Fell asleep at like 1:30-2. Went to school, everyone seemed quiet and sleepy. I almost passed out the entire day. Got a c on my math test (fuck). Didn't get a chance to see Steph and Jason together. Right when I got to school Ian comes up to me and talks about how on Fri, he asked Christie if she wanted to eat dinner and she told him that they are two different people and that he shouldn't ask her to prom. So I ask Christie what that was about and she told me that she was just trying to be straight up with him. Also she thought he was a jackass (personal opinion - I'm glad that I didn't have to interfere, I mean I know that it wouldn't have worked, I'm just glad that she didn't hook up with him). No plans for today, so pretty much whatever comes up.

Random Things....

I'm so sleepy....

I need to get back on the school track.....

Jeff's gone til Weds cuz of his surgery......

I'm worried that the wrong people may end up finding my blog, honestly the only two people I can think of that I would definately have a problem looking at my blog are Ian and Paul.......

Hmm....gotta get my watch fixed, my glasses fixed....

I think Angelo and CJ best when they said "there is no way that you would not have ended up high or drunk if you would have hung out with Ian during spring break, Ian is the black portal"....lol they said it best....I'm also pretty happy about my streak of no alcohol for a year and no drugs in two...(can't beat a certain someone's record though....)

Tawni suggested trying sherbet ice cream....

heh my poem book that i gave to her embarrases me occasionally cuz I didn't intend on her knowing the meaning of any of them....

The Last Day of Spring Break

Song Of The Day - Faith Hill - There You'll Be
Currently Feeling - Confused

Well last nite I did pretty much nothing. I kicked it at Adam's for a bit then we went to Alex's house. They played Yu-gi-oh, then I went to go pick up Mark at the Olive Garden. I dropped him off at his house then went back to Al's. Mark came by after a bit, then I left with Adam to get some Wendy's. We went back to Al's yet again for a bit then we went to circle k cuz Adam wanted an ICEE, we picked up Frank and then we went to Adam's to play live. I killed him and he got all pissed. We watched cartoons til like 1 in the morning. Then I drove Frank home, then passed out on my bed. So to sum it up, nothing exciting at all but my motto is you can't do exciting stuff everyday but every once and a while you just need to stop and just kickback. Today not too sure, I have homework and maybe a bbq.

Random Things....

I never though about it but with 10 slow jamz cd's averaging 18 songs per cd, I have 180 slow jams cds....lol

What Jason said to me has really confused me, I understand what he said and all I just don't know.......

Quick Update

Yeah today has been kickback so far, so with that I've decided to make yet another cd.....slow jamz x
Here's the track list

Faith Hill - There You'll Be (Good Song)
Trisha Yearwood - How do I live without you (Best Song)
Brandy - Sitting In my room
Lee Ann - Can't Fight The Moonlight (Pretty Good Song)
Elvis - Why Do Fools Fall In Love
Mariah Carey - Endless Love
Boyz II Men - To The Limit
Christina Aguilera - I Turn To You
Faith Hill - A Room In My Heart
Boyz II Men - Thank You In Advance
Jewel - I was meant for you
Trisha Yearwood - Where Your Road Leads
LL Cool J - I Need Love
Boyz II Men - Do You Remember
LL Cool j - Hey Lover
Faith Hill - This Kiss
Carole King - You've got a friend
Chicago - If You Leave Me Now

If I have time I'm planning a Mariah Carey Cd

Another Talk

Song Of The Day - Boyz II Men - End Of The Road
Currently Feeling - Unknown

Well I just kicked back most of the day. Adam called and wanted me to come over to play live then to run some errands. I went over and beat Adam, then Jason called and came over. We called Frank over and he came over. We kicked it at Adam's for a bit then we went to Audio Express to get Adam's amp fixed. I found the system I want to put in my car. The Alpine type R's, they're hella expensive though, $349 for speakers, $300 for a '12 sub, $500 for the +600 amp, and I'm just gonna leave the stock cd player. We got bored so we went to Walgreens and the gas store to get some food. When we came back it was ready and we went back to Adam's cuz I had to drive and drop off my sis and aunt, Frank had to go to work, and Jason just went home. I dropped my fam over at the mall and went over to Jason's house. He went to get the coursage so I went to Flowerama to meet up with him. I decided that after prom I will get him a belated b-day gift since I only give b-day gifts to good friends and I gave one to Adam. There was this sick CTS with some nice rims. I asked the guy where he got them and how much. THey were sick. So after flowerama we went to Jason's house. We were in the backyard kicking around the soccer ball when all of a sudden we get into a pretty lengthy conversation. It started cuz we were talking about the camping trip. He said that maybe I should try starting a conversation with Paul because it would help in the getting over process, but at the same time said that he got the impression that Paul wasn't too fond of me being there. He then asked about why did I get depressed at times and said that I have to find a way to stop it. He said to make sure that I stay away from the line that separates friends from more than friends. He ended his little talk about that with "sooner or later your gonna have to stop thinking of what's better for her and start thinking for what's better for yourself"....well although he's not reading this, thanx for the talk. Your a good friend. Anyways after that we dropped off his bro at karate lessons and we went to go eat dinner at Long John Silver's (Fri, no meat for me). We talked about our views on abortion. For me I'm against it, I believe it's murder but I can understand for rational for wanting choice. It is unfair that if someone were to be raped and then get pregnant. but at the same time is it fair to murder the baby because of the sins of the father. I guess it's up to what you think has a soul. Unfortunately a soul isn't something that you can just look into a microscope and find out if it has one or not. We talked about Steph and that their is no problems right now. We talked about the different types of boyfriends their are. Whether your more like the split time with friends and girl-friend or will he be the boyfriend that wants to spend all your time with her. We went over the pro's and cons of each. I don't think I could be a 24-7 type of boyfriend only cuz I think I would start thinking that I was invading her "private time" and plus every once and a while you need to just step back. Hopefully it's not gonna be where we'll be wondering what ever happened to Jason. Afterwards I dropped off Jason, picked up my fam, and went home where Marianne came home for a day. We picked up mom, Marianne ran a red light. Then I took the volvo, got gas and picked up Jason and Frank and went to Adams. We had the water balloons but Mike wasn't home so we ended up throwing balloons at random cars. Steph called and invited us over to her house so I dropped off Adam (he had work in the morning) and we went to Steph. Cam, Mike, Emily, Sheila, Sam, and a couple other peeps were there. It was pretty cool, no beer for Frank, but it was just a kick back. I went home around midnite and just went to sleep. Today I don't have a clue what I'm doing. I don't think were gonna do the bbq today cuz of work. So I dunno I'll just let other people make plans for me.

The Final Stretch

Song Of The Day - Boyz II Men - Can You Stand The Rain
Currently Feeling - Good

Well it's Fri and next Monday were unfortunately back in school. Oh well it's been a really good spring break, well needed. So as I've hit the final stretch i'll use it as more as a kickback and reflection rather than use it to party the hell out. Yesterday I just slept and when I woke up I picked up my moms from work then I picked up Frank and went to Adams house. Adam was pissed at Mike Smith cuz Mike tried to hit adam again with the water balloon so Frank and me tried to help him make water bombs. Jason called and wanted us to go to Kelson's party. I haven't drinken in about a year and i think that's pretty good so I declined, Frank on the other hand really wanted to go, so I told him after we bomb Mikes house I'll drop him off, and when he's done to just call me and I'll be his designated driver. So were on the way to Mike's house but unfortunately Mark's house got teepee'd so there was this van that had it's headlights on looking at the damage. So we decided to wait til tomorrow for the bombing. Instead we threw one balloon at the van and left. We dropped off Frank and then commensed in playing live. we got tied at 3 games apiece when Frank called. I picked him up, he told me that they ran out of alcohol so he didn't get much of a buzz. I dropped him off at his house and went home. Today not much planned, today was the aformidable bbq in the desert but unfortunately were all tired as hell so I'm just gonna kick back with Adam and do some errands. So my whole afternoon is pretty clear, then at night when Frank calls were gonna set up the bombing. Tomorrow were gonna have a bbq at Adam's.

Random Things.....

I'm still somewhat avoiding Ian, he called me when I got back home and I told him I was still camping and that my phone was about to die......

i made my boyz II Men Cd, I had to cut like 5 songs cuz it was over the time limit but it's still pretty good.....

The aftermath of the camping trip is just a mosquito bite, a sore back, and an extremely sore neck.....I need a damn massage......

Sometime this weekend I gotta get back into finalizing all the prom plans....that includes the coursage, paying off tux, finding out what were all doing before and after prom, and everything else.....

I only have today and tomorrow to watch maid in manhattan before I have to return it.....

Tonite we begin the recording everything on video thing....

It's a real beautiful day outside, sun shining and the wind blowing, I would go swimming but I did that yesterday

Cheesecakes, hot dogs, and long talks in the mountains

Song Of The Day - Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live Without You
Currently Feeling - Pretty Good (Not At First Though)

Damn I really love this song, heard it while I was trying to sleep, just a really nice song...(damn Tawni, starting to get me into country)....anyways yesterday and today was a busy day. I had a really great time, but at first it did suck. I'll start off yesterday morning, we were all planning on going to the Cheesecake factory and Jason came over since I was gonna drive. Jason told me I should invite someone to go also so I called Christie but she had to run errands so I invited Amber. We went to her house and waited forever for her to take her shower. We then picked up Steph and then Tawni and Paul. We listened to the oldies cd that Steph made. The cheesecake factory was in Scottsdale so it's a pretty long drive. We all started talking but then Amber said "it's sad cuz James is going to be the only person without a girlfriend". I didn't really think about it til then but then I had this big sinking feeling. So I did what I do when I'm in an uncomfortable enviroment, I shelled up. I barely talked in the cheesecake factory and yeah it was pretty noticable. We had to wait in line for a while so I pulled Jason aside and told him I was having second thoughts about going on the camping trip not only cuz of Paul and Tawni but mainly cuz I would be the only one without a girlfriend. I didn't get to talk long cuz they came into the room. The cheesecake factory was pretty good but really expensive. My sandwich kinda sucked, i didn't really know what it was. The cheesecake was really good, but really rich. On the way home I was trying to do my little decision making thing but Tawni caught me and I tried to teach Amber how to do it,. After that I dropped off Paul at Tawni's house and then Amber at her house. I was then planning on dropping off Steph and Tawni so they could go shopping, and that would give me time to tell Jason that there was no way I was gonna go. But alas I don't give Jason enough and right before I dropped the girls off, Jason said that I was gonna go just loud enough so Tawni could hear....lol he did it knowing that she would have forced me to go. (My original plan was I was gonna drop off everyone then call and say my parents wouldn't let me). Tawni asked me what was wrong but I replied with my usual "nothing" knowing fully well that sooner or later she was gonna jar it outta me. So we drop by my house, get my stuff, drop off my sis at the mall and then go to Jasons. I pass out on the couch for a bit, then we gather all the stuff and we head to Tawni's house. We fill it up completely and were off. We find a nice spot on Lake Pleasent and we set up camp. Jason takes a piss by the trees and we take a pic of him just as he looks over. It's hilarious. Now the whole time I'm still pretty much out of it. So we set up camp when Frank calls. We all try to convince him to go so I won't think that I'm the 3rd or even 5th wheel. Frank comes and I get a little better but still feel pretty bad. I gather a bunch of firewood. (those branches are really bitches to break but they do let me vent some frustrations by breaking them. Anyways by the time Jason starts cooking, I decide to head up to the mountains for a little walking and thinking time. I find this real nice area in the middle of the mountain that gave me a great view of the stars and also of the campfire. To my surprise I see Frank come up, he takes a piss, then sits down next to me. He talks to me about what to do about Kelli, and I just tell him that he should go for it and that more than likely she likes you. We talk about what I had to think about, and we just talk about life and girls for a bit. That's the first time I've talked to Frank about stuff like that but it was a good convo. Frank heads down and that gives me some more time to think. He made me feel a bit better. Then I see the next person to come up which is Tawni. I warn her about the cacti but she was worried about the snakes. Tawni asked me what was wrong and at first I tried to circle around the question but she finally got it out of me. Now the reason I was acting all quiet was that I didn't want to be the 5th wheel and even with Frank there it was awkward. and it didn't help the fact that the person I like is there with her boyfriend. but we just talked about it and then I listened to her problems. She has family issues and i know that it bugs her, but unfortunately it's something I can't help with. I did tell her that if that guy ever hit her I would fuck him up. I also made she that she knew that I would never try to interfere with her and Paul cuz she's happy right now. I'm worried about my subconcious however, I mean I would never purposely do that, she knows it and I know it, but it's one of those things that you don't even realize your doing it sometimes. That's why I've made a promise to myself that I would not give advice to her about Paul unless she really wanted my advice cuz I don't want to give her bad advice then it would make it look like I did it on purpose. I decided to go back down with her, we talked about if I would have stayed longer, Jason would have come up, then maybe Steph, and then we would have laughed our asses off if Paul would have come up to talk about life. I was right, Jason said he was about to go up next. I ate a hot dog and a smore (those are real good, haven't had one in a long time). I saw the sick pictures of Bun Bun and Capt. Mallow. We then just messed around the fire then when it died off, they went into the big tent but I felt a bit tired so I stayed in mine (by the way, I was singing the john mellencamp song although I didn't do it loud enough so that everyone could hear). It was hard sleeping with all the outside noise, and someone snoring. It got real cold in the morning, but I was persistant in wanting to see the sunrise so I woke up at 5, and walked til I found a big mountain for me to watch the sunrise over the lake. It was real nice but maybe not worth it. I fell back asleep but woke up when everyone else woke up at 9. We chilled for a bit, I took a walk around the lake with Tawni looking for something neat and she gave me a dead cactus arm. Afterwards, I took another walk but this time close to the lake. Jason came with and we found this big rock to sit in and talk. We talked about how I was feeling first and I told him that I was cool after the walk to the mountain. We then talked about him and Steph. There seems to be some concern with him. I mean one the reason why Ashley broke up with him was because they did the same ole stuff everytime so Jason's worried about that. Also Jason wants a relationship and he thinks that maybe they were going a bit fast. He doesn't want to base their relationship just on kissing but he justs wants it to cool down a little. We talked about sex, I told him that I wouldn't have sex unless it was with someone I love, and if that meant waiting til we were married then so be it. Jason came up with a similar rational. We had to run back because they took off somewhere. We jumped in the back and we dropped off the girls and Paul over by the other side of the lake. we put out the fire and then joined them. There were a bunch of ducks it was cool. They got a tan then we all went back to pack up. I decided to ride back with Frank so that he wouldn't go back by himself. We said our good bye's and we were off. It only took 5 minutes before Frank got pulled over for not stopping at a stop sign. He was so fuckin lucky though cuz the cop said that he always give the first person he catches with a warning and Frank was the first person. He dropped me off at my house so that I could take a shower and then I would go with him to the mall to look for some new glasses for him (while he was in Cali, he spit out the window out in the highway and his glasses fell off. The store was no longer there so he dropped me off at my house and that's it. My plans for today is just to sleep and then go over to Adams when he gets off work.

Random Things.....

I have to say it one more time, I really do love that song....damn Tawni and Steph and their country

I felt like a waste earlier when I was all quiet cuz I could of had more time to have fun, but at least I got some issues out of the way. I know i have more but I knocked off the ones that have been bugging me.

---Note To Tawni----
Thanx for the talk in the mountains. It really meant a lot cuz I was really down. I did mean everything I said which I think you already know. I'm the one people talk when they have trouble yet I find it hard to find someone to talk to when I have my problems. So I'm glad that I'm able to talk to you about anything or else I would have more than likely would have exploded. Anyways thanx a lot and just to let you know I really do love you as a friend. PS. Oh yeah and thanx for the momento and if I forgot to mention anything remind me so I can put it in
---end Note---

The Trip Is Set For Tomorrow

Song Of The Day - Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men - One Sweet Day
Currently Feeling - Good

hmm so yesterday I pretty much lived at Adams house since it was his birthday. I gave him a printed card along with $17. Mark was over there too so we just kicked it. I got to watch most of American Pie, the similarities are very familiar except for the fact that were more toned down. This is Adam's logic for each of the characters. Frank is Stiffler cuz he always wants to drink and have parties and always has those comments. Jason is Kevin because the fact that he has a girlfriend, and because of that he always pushes us to get a girlfriend (so instead of Jason pushing us into having sex he's pushing us to get girlfriends). They have similar mannerisms too. According to Adam, I'm Oz (or the singy guy) because he's the one who always pretends to be all tough but really is a softy/pushover. Adam is Jason Biggs cuz he's the one who just looks for someone to go to prom. He has the worst luck also. The only person missing is Finch who we gave to Dusty. Don't really know Dusty too well but Adam says he acts sorta like him. That is really sad that we made this comparison but it's actually pretty funny trying to watch for it. Anywho we kick it for a while til Mark has to leave and Adam has to get ready for work. He's got me a bit worried about something. Besides Tawni he's the person who knows me best and we were talking about Tawni and he said that if the opportunity arose I would take it. I dunno why but it just worried me a little not cuz I think it's true but rather cuz that what he thinks I would do. Those were one of the questions I asked her when we ate dinner so that I could straighten out the fact that I wouldn't. Not really a big issue, just something that I want to clear up with the group. Anyways I go back home and rent NBA Live. I play that for like forever then Adam calls and I go back to his house to play live. His amp got fucked up so I was trying to help him with that. Tawni calls to confirm were all going camping tomorrow, and were gonna eat at the cheesecake factory first thing in the morning. Afterwards we go to Dusty's to pick him up and meet Mike Smith over at the Circle K over on 67th and Thunderbird. Adam gets his damn Icee (what's with Tara, Barbie, and Adam and their damn icee's). Ian calls up and he's at Bobby Richards House. I tell him I won't be home til midnite so that he won't go to my house but then he says he'll just meet me at Adams. So we go back to Adam's and play live for a little bit. Mike leaves and then later hits Adam's house with a water balloon. He gets soo pissed that we end up chasing him and almost get killed numerous times. We head back to buy some water balloons but Bashas didn't have any so we go back to Adams. Mike is waiting there so Ian tries to throw his ice cup but misses completely so Mike retaliates and hits Adam's car with a water balloon. Adam is so pissed we go over to Mike's house and Ian and Adam go take a piss on mikes front yard. We go back to Adam's house and Ian leaves, and we go back inside. Mike hits Adam's house yet again but we don't do anything. Ian calls up and we talk about Christie for a while. I guess the same shit that happened with Jeff is happening with Ian. Well after that I just play then I go home to sleep.

Random Things....

Today should be pretty cool, camping and all, hopefully we get everything all prepared...

Jason got back yesterday, I'm guessing he did something with Steph cuz he didn't call me last nite......

I'm trying to figure a way to convince them I'm not like that but everytime I tell Adam he says I'm lying.....

My parents have been joking around about me not being at home anymore......lol my aunt thinks I'm hiding a girlfriend...lol

Jeff's surgery is today as we speak so good luck....oh yeah the punk didn't even tell me it was his b-day on Mon so that no one would bother him...lol

Damn were gonna go romping in the desert and have a BBQ but I can't have meat on Fri....damn

Am I a bad person? Ian wants to hang out a lot and I'm still not sure if he's using me or not. But even if he wasn't I just don't feel like hanging out. Like it feels awkward, I just don't feel like I can be myself around him. I dunno that's somewhat bugging me not so much the whole using me or not thing. I've calmed down about that

For Easter Tawni's getting me a new planner, while I'm getting her Serendipity

Cousins Subs and Adam's B-Day

Song Of The Day - Air Supply - Lost In Love
Currently Feeling - Good

Yesterday was so boring, but at least I didn't spend it all alone. I woke up and called Tawni. I talked to her for a bit and reminded her to call the doctor. Then I called Hubert and we resceduled Cheesecake factory for today, and were going to look for coursage today also. Sopheak called and he wanted a ride to the DMV. I didn't feel like I wanted to so I gave him Adam's number. I figured that Adam would take him, so that Sopheak could buy him the Torrie Wilson Playboy. Ian called and he wanted to kick it but I really didn't feel like it. I came up with the conclusion that he's back for three reasons. He wants to start up the old times again with me, He wants to hook up with Christie, and he wants to try and break Tawni and me's friendship. Anywho he asked me what I did last yesterday, and he said that he hates when I hang out with her cuz then he can't hang out with me. I honestly don't think there's much there anymore but my consciounce won't let me just tell him. So more than likely he'll be playing fone tag. I finally got a hold of Adam past noon cuz he slept in. I went over to his house and chilled there for a bit. He wants to come up with a group handshake..(hopefully he was joking). He made a comparison of our group to American Pie group with Frank as the stiffler, Jason as the horny guy, me as the singy guy, and Adam as the loser guy....lol pretty funny but it actually makes sense sortof in it's own weird way. Anyways we also got into a discussion about how he said I wasn't over her. I guess after I left on Sun to go to the mall, they were talking about that and together as a group came up with a decision that I wasn't over her. So anyways we watch some tv before he has to go to work, so he leaves and I go back home. I shave off my beard and sideburns so that they can grow back before prom. Tawni calls up and wants to go eat dinner (her treat) at Cousins since there's no customers. I go over there at get yet another new one, I think I chose ham and cheese. Pretty good but not as good as the others. Since everyone was gone and I didn't want to go home by myself I stayed at kicked it at Cousins with Tawni and her manager Kevin for about an hour or 2. My mom calls and needs help so I go home and help her move something. I watch the suns game for a while. I go back to Cousins to give Tawni Serendipity and kick it for a couple minutes. She invited me to go watch it with her after work but her mom said no, so I went to Circuit city and Barnes and Noble for a bit, then went home. Adam called for a little bit but I didnt' feel like driving again. Tawni called knew I was thinking about something (that explains the last post) and she finally convinced me to write it in my blog. Not surprisingly my thinking snowballed, Tawni called and said Serendipity was the best movie (no duh). A little after that i fell asleep but I woke up at 7:45 and couldn't go back to sleep so here I am. My plans for today is to kick it with Adam on his birthday, go the flower shop with Hubert, eat at Cheesecake factory with Hubert, Mel, Danielle, Vicky, and Heidi. Then tonite I'll let whoever call and make plans.

Random Things....

Jason should be back tonite, Frank's still gone....

I gotta watch Ghost (because Tawni said it's a real good love story) and American Pie (to look at the similarities of our group to theirs)

I'm worried i may get into Country but in the event i do, this stays between those who read my blog (or else......)

We were supposed to learn how to play the guitar from Jeff today but it got postponed

I got into NHS, I really proud of myself, I'm glad that I'm making up for a lackluster frosh and soph year......

It's really gonna be sad one of these days when all 6 cd slots in the MDX are filled with slow jams

Well not an update but rather just a little rant. I was pretty bored today so you all know what that leads to. None other than the ugly head known as thinking. I was thinking about a lot of different things. but I guess the one that bothered me the most was that i was thinking about what if I don't find someone that makes me feel the way I did with Tawni. I dunno it just worries me sometimes. It's weird cuz it's always hard to describe how it feels. I've written tons on my feelings and such but it doesn't make things easier to describe. So as those who all know me are guessing this will more than likely snowball so I won't catch much shut-eye for a little while. So unless i feel inspired to write again then I'll update tomorrow, Well gots to go back to my thinking......

---Note to Tawni----
That's the best I can describe it....lol happy..... :)

The Aladdin is a really underrated song...it really is

I can show you the world
Shining, shimmering, splendid
Tell me, princess, now when did
You last let your heart decide?

I can open your eyes
Take you wonder by wonder
Over, sideways and under
On a magic carpet ride

A whole new world
A new fantastic point of view
No one to tell us no
Or where to go
Or say we're only dreaming

A whole new world
A dazzling place I never knew
But when I'm way up here
It's crystal clear
That now I'm in a whole new world with you
Now I'm in a whole new world with you

Unbelievable sights
Indescribable feeling
Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling
Through an endless diamond sky

A whole new world
Don't you dare close your eyes
A hundred thousand things to see
Hold your breath - it gets better
I'm like a shooting star
I've come so far
I can't go back to where I used to be

A whole new world
Every turn a surprise
With new horizons to pursue
Every moment red-letter
I'll chase them anywhere
There's time to spare
Let me share this whole new world with you

A whole new world
That's where we'll be
A thrilling chase
A wondrous place
For you and me

Looking For Her Prom Dress

Song Of The Day - Aladdin - A Whole New World
Currently Feeling - Decent

So yesterday what did I do??? I woke up early cuz I had to write a letter for my church. I couldn't find the envelope but with 30 minutes til church I found it in my sis' bag. I wrote a pretty good letter. I went to church and was trying to find Regina but alas, she wasn't there. After church Ian called and wanted to kick it but I told him I was kickin it with Tawni so he tried to get me to cancel on her. Then I watched Sweet Home Alabama, i think i've seen it three times now. I would have saw Serendipity always but I was running short on time. My dad wanted me to get some food for my sis so I went to In-N-Out but the drive thru took hella long time. So I went home, dropped off the food then went to Frank's to pick him up then I went to Adams. We were supposed to go to Cousins with Frank wearing the booty's while I wore my cartoon shoes. But I didn't want to spend money so instead I ate chimmichanga's over at Adam's. They were pretty good. Afterwards Frank and me watched as Adam washed all three of his families cars. Frank and me were thinking about helping him but we thought it would be funnier if we watched him with lawn chairs in the shade instead. That and he wouldn't have given us a cut of what his parents were paying him.

Tawni got off work and she decided to go to Scottsdale Fashion instead of Desert Ridge. I looked it up then picked her up. I met her infamous brother Tyler. I think I actually scared him cuz the last time I came to pick her up he said some shit. So I go up to the door and ask if Tawni's here. She asks who I am, and I tell him James, he gives me this dead face stare and says "your james??"...I gave him a little nod to scare him a little but that was it. I stood outside for a bit then ran into her mom. I said hi hoping that she wouldn't remember me as the "fucking idiot" who spend out of her driveway...lol....anyways I went inside Tawni's room and waited for her to get ready. I held her money cuz she probably would have lost it. Tara called and asked if I could drop her off at her dad's. I said sure and told her I would pick her up when we leave. Tyler came back in and was trying to impress me by talking about all the fights he has gotten in. lol it was pretty funny, he's got quite a mouth for a 6th grader, I shoulda talked about girls to see what he would have said....heh oh well.... we left to pick up Tara at her friends house and dropped her off at her dad's. The whole way over we were listening to Tawni's cd.....she's trying to get me into country and I fear it could happen. We were also dancing in the car to John Mellencamp...lol pretty funny yet embarrasing. I also yelled ye-haw to an old lady driving down scottsdale, it was funny. Oh yeah also I guess Tawni could tell I'm still bothered by the whole "ian could be using me thing". The whole day I was quite bothered by it. Anywho we arrive at Scottsdale Fashion Square after taking the wrong turn a couple times. The mall is pretty big and it's pretty sick. On the way over we saw Build-A-Bear, I'm still not quite sure of what it is but Tawni said I'm gonna do it next time. We also saw this stairway waterfall which looked pretty sick. We went to Dilliards and helped her look for a dress. There was this real nice black dress that she tried on but I didn't like it cuz it revealed too much back. I did the find her dress that best matched her. It looks real pretty. It was beish (however u spell it) and looked hmmm......really beautiful!!

The mall was closing so we had to leave. On the way back we listened to the new Slow Jamz IX cd. Tawni's gonna let me borrow some country cd's that she thinks I'd like. We sang to a "whole new world" in the car...it's one of those songs that u like but don't admit to anyone. Infact I knew all the words so once Tawni learns them were gonna go Karoke to it. We stopped at Cousins to show everyone her dress. Then we went to Applebee's to eat dinner. I ordered the ribs and chicken tenders while Tawni ordered the 8oz bacon cheeseburger. I was quite surprised she finished all of it. Major props Tawni. We talked about Will. My gut feeling is that he likes Tawni also along with whoever else he likes. but my advice for u Tawni is just becareful around him. --Note To Tawni-- I was thinking a little about it, and i came up with my conclusion on everything so just call if ya want to hear it --End Note-- We also talked about Paul....yeah I don't think were ever going to talk but other than our main difference I don't have anything against him. I'll admit it was and occasionally still is extremely hard to see them. We talked about my friends loyalty and stuff like that.

The whole time the Ian thing was bugging me though. I mean there is a chance that he wants to start up our friendship again but it obvious that there is more than meets the eyes. It has either come down to helping him hook up with Christie knowing she'll listen to what I say and/or he's trying to split up Tawni and my friendship. I don't know for sure so I can't just shut him out but it's obvious that other than reminising about old times we don't have much else to say. On Christie, I'm choosing to let him do it on his own but just making sure that he doesn't hurt her. With Tawni, I wouldn't let him do that and I doubt there's anything that could do otherwise. I invited Tawni and Paul to go watch Dreamcatcher with us tonite cuz they didn't have much to do. I dropped them off then went to Adam's. I kicked it there for a bit, then picked up Jason and brought him back. We then proceeded to drop off Dusty, and pick Tawni, Paul, and Steph up. We went to the movie and it was so sweet Steph was leaning on Jason. Tawni and me high 5'ved each other. It was great. The movie on the other hand sucked. Too complicated, and just too weird. After the movie we went in a straight line, dropping off Adam, Frank, Steph, Jason, then Tawni and Paul. When I dropped off Jason I had to talk to him alone for a moment. He is official with Steph as of last nite which is really great for him. He also asked why I seemed a little pissed that nite which I told him Ian. Then he asked how I held up with Tawni and Paul there. After that I dropped off Tawni and Paul. On the way over there I saw none other than the mitsubishi evolution. I tried to catch up but he was just way the hell too fast. After that I got home, took some meds, and went to sleep.

My plans for today I'm not to sure since everyone is gone today. Frank is in Disneyland, Jason is in Sedonna, and Adam is working today. Today will probably just be my kickback day.

Random Things...

It looks like we'll be camping on either Weds or Thurs. So far it'll be Jason, Steph, Tawni, and me.

Adam's b-day is tomorrow so I'm gonna get him a card with $17 in it

I really did pick the best dress....I'm so good....

I got to figure out the 2 questions that I needed to know

Oh yeah I forgot to update on Sat., pretty much kicked it with the group. We were supposed to go see Dreamcatcher but during the middle of it Tawni called and wanted us to go to Sheilas house. Steph especially wanted Jason to go. Cam was so drunk it was pretty funny. We only stayed an hour though then we left cuz Jason had to get back home.

The First Day of Spring Break and The New Awkwardness

Song Of The Day - Boyz II Men - If I Fall In Love Again
Currently Feeling - Awkward

hmm...the first day of spring break was last nite....hmm so what has happened over the past couple days.....On Thurs nite I told Adam about the "special privileges"...I could tell at first he was pissed but he understood my feelings and said as long as Frank or Jason drove the car. On Fri, real bad luck....I cramped my leg late that nite so I couldn't sleep for a while. I overslept and was late for working at the cobra corner. I did alright on my voc test. I also gave Katie a hard time with her impromtu it was pretty funny. In Marketing I did alright on my quiz, then afterwards I had to go to library to type up my groups survey. In Bio I took my test and I think I did horrible. I was supposed to go eat out with Adam but I couldn't eat meat yesterday so I stayed in. But I forgot halfway thru and ate a burger I was pissed. After lunch Jason and me were trying to get Frank to go ask Kelli to prom. They ended up ditching 4th hour together but she has a date for prom already. In math I think I did alright on my test although I had to cheat. Afterschool I kicked it with Adam for a while. I chilled there for a bit then went home to take a nap. Ian came over and told me he was gonna go to the play to surprise Christie. Afterwards Jason calls and wants me to go to the flowerama with him so I did. Oh yeah the Trooper got detailed..it looks real nice....anyways back to the flowerama, they had this real nice coursage. We went back to his house and we talked about things. He said he's getting to like Steph a lot but he's scared that things will become boring for her. With his ex-girl, they saw each other barely ever but if they did see each other everyday, they would more than likely broken up after a week. He also said how he was a little pissed and confused when Paul called Steph a fat ass. He wasn't sure how to respond to it, whether to say something or just to not say anything at all even if he was just kidding. Steph isn't fat but none the less it's just one of those things you don't joke about with most girls. Anyways we also talked about me. He seemed to realize that it's not as much as a moving on as it is a realization but we were trying to come up with some girls that are cool and such. After our little talk we told Frank and Adam to come over. We stayed there for a while then went to Ralph's pizza. We ate there then went to Adam's where we just kicked it the rest of the nite. Jason got picked up by Steph so they could go watch a movie, and then Christie calls me and she's with Ian so they decide to come over. (I was supposed to go with Christie to the play but to be honest I really didn't want to but the only reason was because I didn't want Christie to go alone, but then I knew Ian would show up so I didn't feel bad if I didn't call). They came over and we talked about old times. Christie really likes the dog (my favorite is katie cuz she's always sleeping on my leg). At 11 I was dead tired so we all just went home.

The plan for tonite is pretty basic....

-watch sweet home alabama and serendipity (I may take christie's advice and ask someone to watch it with me)....

Ian wanted to kick it today..........

once everyone is off work were going to watch Dreamcatchers...............

Random Things....

I think Jason is getting on Franks nerves about not asking Kelli to prom. The whole "where's your balls Frank" thing could be getting to Frank.

I could make Slow Jamz IX tonite if I have time but I'm short a couple songs still.....

I can't believe I left the "if i ever love again" off my slow jamz, it's the sickest

I have a quandary (whaley word meaning dillema) about Christie and Ian. I know what Ian will do if things go wrong with Christie and I do remember saying that I wouldn't let something like that happen again. I don't know if I believe Ian when he says he's changed. Christie is a good friend and I told her I would watch her back since she hasn't had good luck with guys. However I can't just sabotage it cuz that isn't fair, how would I like it if someone did that to me. Also Christie isn't the type to wear her heart on her sleeve so the chances of her getting hurt aren't good. But Ian wants me to put in a good word for him since she'll listen to what I say. So for the time being I've taken the observers stance because honestly speaking I don't think it'll work out. If somehow it does work out I dunno. I've already told her to just be careful. I told him not to burn bridges with her cuz the next time he does it with one of my good friends then I can't stick up for him anymore.

There's also some awkwardness with Ian and me. He wants to hang out a lot now, which is something I don't have a big problem with. I'm just a bit worried that when we hung out last summer I was a different person and some of that stuff I put behind me (vandalism, shit talking to name a few). Ian has kept his word about the shit-talking (he is genuine I can tell but at the same time I don't think he's doing to it for Tawni but rather for me). I don't know I guess I'll just play it by ear.

There are a couple girls that I think are interesting but I dont' know if they'll go thru. Probably the person that I want to get to know is the girl from my church Regina. She seems like a nice girl (don't want a skanky girl) and I really want a relationship not a fling so that's good. I need to talk to her more though and she seems a bit quiet so I don't know if that'll go though. There's this girl in my english class but I don't know about that yet. I know there's one other person but I can't seem to remember so when I do I'll post it up. Amber, I'm not too sure, I pretty good friends with her but she doesn't seem my type or me her type

My tux is now just black and white (no longer baby blue).

I had this dream, it felt so real that I could have swore actually happened. I guess it had an effect cuz when I woke up my eyes were a bit teary. I hope that it was just a dream cuz I don't want it to come into reality that way. I would never wish for something like that to ever happen.

The Countdown Has Ended and A Dillema Magnifies

Song Of The Day - Righteous Brothers - Unchained Melodies (From The Soundtrack Ghost)
Currently Feeling - Exhasted

Well as of last nite the war has begun to mixed reactions. I find myself split on whether the cause of this war was justified. Are we being hypocritical about them having weapons of mass destruction while at the same time we have them too? I know that out of any country they would most likely attack us with them but does that count as self defense when we bombed them??? I don't think there is a clear right or wrong but I do feel saddened for the soldiers fighting right now. I personally don't know anyone who enlisted although I know friends that know people that do. So let us all pray that this war is short and to the point without spilling out into other parts of the world.

Well last nite, we had the study group pt II with pretty much the same results....not much studying all though we did talk about a lot of other things....I picked up Hubert and met up with Melanie at Borders. Tawni couldn't leave her house so I got the AP Bio book for her. Vicky arrived and I helped her look for another bio book. We didn't really study and we ended up just talking. Tawni called and said we could study at her house. So we grabbed some food then left to her house. I got lost on the way, it was pretty funny but we managed to arrive. I don't even really think we started studying there. We talked about a lot of things, like war and how people have changed. I think the way I have changed is that I think overall I'm become a better person. I'll admit I used to be a follower and did what was cool. I used to choose not to talk to people cuz I believed that they were below me. But let's also be honest and say that a lot of us are guilty of doing that at one point of their lives or another. Anyways I've also learned to not always listen to rumors and to no longer have presumptions about people. So I'm pretty happy about the person I'm become and hopefully I'm be happy with the person I grow up to become. ....hmmmm......Tawni finally updated her blog.......oh yeah something that was really funny was when Tara was holding the cat and she accidentally hit the cat's head against the wall (i heard the sound....lol)......We left around 11 then on my way home I opened the sunroof and I was in perfect position to look at the moon. The moons light was streaming into the MDX and it looked real nice and it just made me think about everything that I needed to think about.

Today had a rough start.....I arrived at 6:50 but I didn't see anyone in the bio room so I didn't go in (it turned out they were standing by the computer so I couldn't see them). I went back into the volvo and chilled for a while. I talked to Amber for a bit and just told her that I would pay for the tickets and asked her what color I should wear for prom. She fell into a pond yesterday I felt bad..... I went into the bio room at 7 and listened for about 20 minutes then got a pass so that I won't be late for 1st period. I forgot that I had an impromptu to do today (an impromptu for those who don't know is when I have to pull a subject out of a box then talk about it for two minutes). My subject was do students have a lot of things to stress about. I talked about the divorce rates and how homeworks adds stress. I almost started a riot in the class but unfortunately the teach cut me off before I could start anything. I bombed my huck finn quiz and then we went to the library to get some articles about censorship. I talked to Christie a little about Ian, she didn't get a chance to talk to him yesterday. She asked me if I wanted to go see a play with her today or tomorrow so I just told her to call me up. In 2nd period we had some weird sub, I did pretty good on the marketing test....I bought my prom tickets...I almost got away with not paying for tickets for the 2nd year in a row but unfortunately Jamie caught me...lol...this girl gave me this card and knew my name but I didn't have a clue who she was....In bio I did more reviewing for the test tomorrow. Tawni wasn't feeling well but she hasn't gotten the referral to go see the doctor yet. ---Little note to Tawni--- You worry me sometimes Tawni, I really want you to see a doctor as soon as possible cuz it's sad to see you in pain. However I didn't say you could miss class however because I'm not gonna let u leave me alone with "her" again......----End Note----- Oh yeah I guess yesterday Adam was trying to find out what Tawni was able to do yesterday but she didn't say anything.....at lunch I stayed in but had to hurry cuz I had homework. Tawni came up and was upset cuz if Christie and Ian go to prom they want to go with us. So I'm gonna have to fix things.....I probably failed my math test though. Afterschool I went to Melanie's house and dropped off her Bio cd. I picked up Baitos and did some blogging. Ian came over and wanted me to go to the mall with him. We ran into Angelo and CJ and we hung out for a little bit. hmmm there was an awkward situation when Tawni called cuz she wanted me and Jason to go eat dinner with her and Steph. I gotta give Tawni credit cuz she said I could bring Ian but I'm too smart to do that so Ian dropped me off and I went over to Cousins. I ate and talked to Tawni and Steph for a little bit (meatball sub really good)....Were planning on going camping during spring break which should be cool. Oh yeah Hubert, Melanie, and Danielle are all planning on going to see the used on Monday at Tucson...it should be cool (Melanie thinks the MDX is a spaceship)....

Random Things....

Sorry the 2nd half isn't very detailed, I have a shitload of stuff to do so i'm trying to go as fast as possible.....

Spring Break Plans.....

Fri - Go to play with Christie
Sat - Kick it with my group
Sun - Desert Ridge with Tawni
Mon - Used in Tucson???
Tues - jeff's going to teach Tawni and me how to play guitar
Weds - possibly go camping with Steph and Tawni
Thurs- ????
Fri -?????
Sat-sun- ?????

I'm gonna go with Hubert and Tawni some time during spring break to find some flowers and corsage for prom.....

Well a lot of stuff I didn't mention that are pretty important but I still have to call Christie and study like non other so later

Study Groups

Song Of The Day - Ricky Martin and Christina Aguilera - Nobody Wants To Be Lonely
Currently Feeling - Exhasted

So last nite was my study group thing with Hubert, Tawni, Danielle, Melony, and Vicky. I arrived at Barnes and Noble at around 9 and waited for everyone to get there. We then got a little circle and attempted to study for an hour. It didn't go to well cuz we had more questions than answers. Barnes and Nobles closed at 10 so then we split up looking for somewhere to have our group study. I rode with Tawni and we were talking about guys and how she's now she waiting for Paul to turn on her. I worry about her cuz her trust in people is always wavering especially with guys (although I guess her reasons are justified). I just hope she doesn't lose trust in me........ Anyways I just told her that with Ian I knew once they broke up something bad would happen. With Mike I don't know him but my thinking about him is that he's trying to get back together with Tawni and is showing the signs from what Tawni told me. I got her to realize why I do majority of my thinking when I'm driving...lol.....Anyways we get to starbucks but they also close at 10 so we end up going to Hubert's house. Not really any studying there, I helped Tawni with her College Algebra. On the way home I gave Tawni "special privleges"....lol....Adam would be so pissed.....I got to see her room which looks like your in the sky which is really cool. All the stars and everything..neat....I also got back my slow Jamz VIII cd and I got to borrow Tawni's hybrid slow jamz cd. I got home at around 11, called Tawni to make sure I got home safe, ate some shu-pow, then did some homework and fell asleep.

This morning...I was so tired and it felt so nice in bed but unfortunely I didn't sleep in although I could of. We had a sub in english(Sarah's sis).....Matt kept asking me if I would bone her....lol anyways no quiz on Huck finn.....I accidentally slipped and Adam almost found out about the "special privleges", but he kept asking about it. Also I learned something....when asked if I still like her, never reply "no, were just really good friends"...it's like painting a big red target sign on yourself.....in marketing worked on my survey project, were doing music and we have to get 25 people to fill out the survey....I was talking to Adrian about how only a couple years ago I made fun of punk but now I listen to it more than rap at this moment.... In Bio, we went over the DNA replication and Tawni was trying to figure out what I was going to tell her before we reached Hubert's house (it was about losing trust in me)...... I was also pondering whether or not i should go to lunch with Ian... He seemed forward to me eating, he told 5 people to remind me, I was about to just eat at school but bumped into Ian so I ate lunch with him and Troy at El Primo's. There was a bunch of peeps there, in math just worked on my review....my plans for today is study for huck finn, DNA replication and note cards, math....then at 7:30 or 8 I'm gonna go to Border's for study group pt. II....

Random Things.....

Sun I'm gonna go to Tawni to Desert Ridge, and on Tues Tawni and me are going to Jeff's to learn how to play the acoustic guitar.....

Tomorrow I gotta buy prom tickets.......

Talked to Christie afterschool and she told me that Josh asked her to prom and sang her a song....lol that sux cuz it puts her in an awkward position....I don't know what the deal is between her and Ian but she did tell me to give her home phone to Ian.....

Ian seemed curious about Christie during lunch.....

Still not sure what the plans are for Prom, gotta ask Amber who she wants to go with......

A Heart To Heart With An Old Friend

Song Of The Day - The Ataris - The Hero Dies In This One
Currently Feeling - Lifted

hmm sorry for the late update here goes everything......... Marketing Bunton moved Adrian so now I don't sit next to either David or Adrian....it's gonna be a lot quieter. However on the plus we started a project where we have to make a survey and my partners are David and Adrian. In Bio.....hmmm still confused on the cell cycle with the test on Thurs....damn this isn't good....we set up a study group tonite at 9 so I gotta head out in bout an hour. Were meeting up at Barnes and Noble with Tawni, Hubert, Danielle, and Melony. Oh yeah Tawni had to push back the whole desert ridge thing til Sun since some family is coming over. For lunch I brought over Jeff to his house then I had to get some gas. I hit a snag when my credit card wasn't working...it took them forever but they finally got it to work and I had to speed to pick up Jeff and make it just as the last bell rung. Oh yeah on my way over I noticed some crown victoria that looked a little weird so I pull up next to it and it's an undercover cop....lol too smart for that one. Math we have new seating chart so team JAM is temporary disbanded....I hate the student teacher....it was ok when the info wasn't that hard but now it's getting frustrating.......Afterschool I looked for my camera to no avail. I watched part of Ringu (Original version of Ring)....I was a bit disappointed but still an ok movie. Tawni called up and wanted me to bring Jason so we could eat together. I pick up Jason and get there and were just eating and talking about random stuff. On my way back to Jason's house we were talking about them.....he said that everytime they go out he feels a lot better with her and it's really nice and stuff. Jason was talking about me and how my move on was. I just said that were really cool right now and it's about time to start new again. was on my way to In-N-Out to get some food for my sis. Ian calls and we talk about his ex-girl and how she found someone else. I had to call him back cuz I was in line. but when I came back I talked to him about a lot of stuff. About how everyone is in their own world now. I told him I was going to prom with Amber and he seemed really persistant on making sure I didn't like Amber more than that. He made me promise on our friendship..... Then we started talking about Tawni and how he found out from Jason about me liking her. I told him I still sort of like her but were really close friends now. He said he felt bad about saying that stuff in front of me and apologized and said that he'll stand by my side on it. I just told him that I can't stop him from thinking what he wants to but just to keep the shit-talking away from me cuz it puts me in an awkward situation. He said my decision to move on was a good decision and that I could do better than that.......anyways he wants to do some stuff over spring break and wants me to eat lunch with him tomorrow. Anyways my point on everything is he's right that everyone in our group is in our own world now. Obviously everyone in our original group is running with a new pack now and we have different personalities but I'm cool with doing stuff with him as long as it doesn't involve drugs or alcohol. Yeah I know that we have our differences some peeps but he respects my decision to be cool with them. I've known his since like 3rd grade and with him graduating early next year I think it would be cool kickin it with him, just not as much as we used to... Now it's about 8 so I've gotta do some stuff before the study group thing.....

Random Things....

Unofficial Guy Rules have come up a lot lately, I've broken a lot of them with some peeps (ex. Tawni) but generally even I have to follow these rules. I'll post some of them up tomorrow since I don't have time right now.....

Christie and Ian....I never knew that she had a crush on him last year. I felt obligated to warn her a little but I dunno but it felt a little out of line. I told her that I would watch her back though cuz she has a bad track record with guys also. I didn't want Tawni to say anything cuz that could blow up and I don't want things to get messy.

It's Raining, It's Pouring......

Song Of The Day - Marques Houston - That Girl
Currently Feeling - Good

Ok so after a couple days of 80 degree weather, we get rained on like no other. Not to mention it's freezing outside. Oh well I like the rain since I no longer have to clean the car. So first I'll write about yesterday first. I went to church with my aunties and uncles. I said goodbye to them then went to church class. The two cute girls were there again. One I just think is cute but the other seems like a nice person but I haven't had the opportunity to talk to her in a nice conversation yet. I left early so I could get my measurements for my tux. It's gonna be so sick, oh yeah I thought Ambers dress was baby blue but that turned out to be Stephanies. Oh well I'm not gonna wear a pink vest so I'll stick with my colors cuz it should look nice together. I went home and chilled, I watched Swimfan....ok movie, a little freaky with that crazed girl with the obsession. I watched Yao Ming kill the Suns, talked on the phone for a bit, then went to sleep.

Then this morning, I was talking to Jason bout his date last Sat. In English, I did horrible on the quiz but that's kool. In marketing, David was so pissed, I thought he was gonna erupt on someone. Also Adrian got a perfect score on his test. I gave him shit about him and Bunton becoming like Father and Son and how he's become the teacher's pet. In Bio, I'm worried about the test, but I think I can pull out a decent grade. Also Tawni wants to go to Desert Ridge after work on Sat so we can do the karoke, sit with the chocolate bear, and she can look for her dress for prom. It should be a fun time, I don't think I've ever had a boring time at Desert Ridge (wait yes I have, the time I went during the day during the week, absolutely no one was there). Jeff showed me some of his "legal" steroids.....I worry bout that, even though it's legal, if it shows positive it doesn't matter. At lunch I went to the MDX to get my book but as I look down half my show is covered in water. Why is my school so fuckin retarded....really like last year they tore apart the school so they could get a better drainage system. But everytime it rains half the parking lot turns into a lake...... In math I'm worried about this test on Thurs and Fri......

Random Things.....

Tonite I'm watching the original version of the Ring from Japan....from what I heard it way scarier than the american version.....

Last week before Spring Break so excited.....

Ian got Christie's number...I'm surprised she gave it to him, but I doubt anything will come of it, if it did I'm not 100 percent sure if I would interfere, on one side I'm good friends with Christie and I don't want her to fall under the same shit that some other girls have but on the other hand I would be breaking another one of those "unofficial guy rules".....I doubt that I will have to do anything though......

Sort of on that subject, I'm thinking about something that I hope it's not true.....I really hope it's not

Jason and Stephanie are really doing well together..... I think it's a dead-lock to happen and even in the event that it doesn't work out I think they'll become really good friends.....Her parents love him but the interesting thing will be when she meets Jason's parents.....lol even I'm a little hesitant going into Jason's house cuz I always get the interigation about my love life from them.......Oh yeah Mike smith.....what can I say he's so lucky that I don't know who he likes....always says stuff to Jason, Steph, and even me occasionally....

Favor Call In

Song Of The Day - Bonnie and Meatloaf - Total Eclipse Of The Heart
Currently Feeling - Decent

hmm...pretty fun yesterday although I had to call in a favor but I'll get to that. First though I ate lunch with my sisters then I had to arrange the plans for tonite since there was originally a pretty big amount of peeps coming. Unfortunately Vicky and Heidi couldn't come and neither could Amber since she was working. I got my tux, it's gonna be a black and baby blue color condination. It should be pretty sick according to them. I gotta go back today to get measurements and to make the deposit. The total for the tux will come up to $131. After that I drove my aunt and everyone to Dillards Clearance. They stayed for about an hour then we went back. Oh yeah I also had to make another trip to Cave Creek which is always so fun. Anyways the plans for the nite got a bit distored because the original plan was for all of us to get there in the same car but Danielle, Melony, and Hubert went early to catch the enviroment of Desert Ridge. Tawni said Amber couldn't go and Paul probably couldn't and I couldn't get Jason and Steph to go so I switched cars to the volvo. Anyways I went to Cousins to pick up Tawni but her mom was gonna pick her up and Paul was gonna come. So using my best judgment I decided I needed to bring someone cuz I didn't really want to go on a car ride with just Tawni and Paul so I called up Adam who was with Dusty. I tried to convince them to come but I couldn't get them to just come since Dusty isn't very fond of Paul so I offered to pay half their tickets each. They both agreed so I picked them up then went to go get some gas. The guy thinks that I stole something so he tells me to go back in the store and once he finds out I didn't he gives me a free car wash. I probably shouldn't have used it that nite but I got greedy and did it anyways although right now it's raining. Frank then calls so we pick him up and drop off Dusty at his house since Dusty didn't want to go. We then went to Tawni's house to pick them up. I talked to Tara for a bit then we were off. I had to speed pretty bad to get a good time although I was scared cuz of "Operation 101" which is the cops looking for speeders on loop 101. According to the news 1000 tickets passed out last month. The whole time Adam and Frank were throwing comments back and forth at each other....lol funny...... We got to Desert Ridge in pretty good time and we got our tickets and I was surprised Adam still made me pay for 2/3rd of his ticket and now I owe him...... We watched Old School again...lol that movie is still funny even after the 2nd time. Tawni and me had our inside jokes with the Dust in the wind song and the K Y Jelly wrestling match. After the movie, we said goodbye to Hubert, Melony, and Danielle and we were off. Tawni wanted us to go karoke to Dust in the Wind but they only Karoke in the afternoon so one day we may end up karokeing to Dust in the Wind. She also didn't get to see the chocolate bear since it was already put back in the store. (One of my favorite thinking spots is on the bench next to chocolate bear with my arm around him). I dropped off everyone then went home, ate, then went to sleep. The plan for today is going to church, then getting tux, then just chill and do some homework.

Random Things.....

Really if I had to pick a song of the year, right now it would be Kansas - Dust in the Wind...lol

I miss the volvo, there's only so much stuff you can do in a big suv, also Frank and Adam were so adament on going the speed limiter which is 145 on the volvo.....

Lately I've been having these weird dreams that feel so real that when I wake up I think they've actually happened.....

Tawni seemed curious about the guy rule that you can't say anything if another guy cheats. Hmmm after thinking about it I'm not sure if something like that happened what I'd do, probably something violent.....I dunno I guess we'll find out if the time arises

Movies I'm planning on buying: 2 weeks notice, Old School, and Sweet Home Alabama..... (lol notice how I don't buy sweet home alabama with 2 weeks notice)

The Date is Set For April 5th

Song Of The Day - Student Rick - Please Forgive Me
Currently Feeling - OK

Ok so Plan J has come and passed and was a success....well sort of except for the element of surprise. I had everything ready and the only thing left was just to wait for her to get out. I waited bout 15 minutes just standing in the front of her garage while cars and neighbors and even garbagemen looked on. Unfortunately the garbage trucks came and I couldn't hear Amber open the door so by the time I look over Amber's there and I'm the one who got shocked. Anyways I asked her and she said yes, she also said she knew I was there cuz Tawni tipped her off but that's cool I guess. Oh yeah I also got to drive the volvo so you know there was massive amounts of speeding today. Anywho I go to school and I talked to Jason and Frank about the results. School was actually quite alright today. I did a good job on both of my tests in english. Mike, Jeff, and me set up the pool match for later tonite. In Marketing did good on that quiz and didn't get into trouble. In Bio Ashby was gone (I wonder why????) we did get a chip and dips with soda party...yeah......the sub looked dead but he was alright I guess. Then we set up the biggest movie group for Sat....hmmm let's see if I can remember who's all planning on coming......Melony, Danielle, Hubert, Tawni, Amber, Paul, Vicky, Heidi, and Jason and Steph are a doubtful. Oh yeah I got gum on my pants so I had to go home for lunch and switch pants. In math, I did alright on my quiz, I tried to ditch early but on my way out I ran into my math teach so I had to pretend I was getting a drink and walk back. Afterschool I dropped off Frank then went to Jason's.....I got the whole I'm proud of you James for asking someone to prom by Jason's mom. Oh well the bright spot of all of it was his mom telling Jason to take notes on how to ask a girl to prom.....lol funny.......I went to Adam's for a little but I kept falling asleep so I just went home and took a nap. Hubert called up and I thought he was gonna get drunk but that fell thru so he wanted to come with us to go shoot pool. So it ended up being Adam, Jeff, Mike, Hubes, and me. We played for a little bit then Alicia and Lesly came over to watch and they brought an entourage with them. We lost all but one time so we payed for the table to even out everything. I dropped Jeff and Mike so that they could syphon gas and then I dropped off Hubes then went to Jasons house. He was planning on going somewhere with Steph and Emily but that fell thru so we ended up playing a couple games of fifa. We then drove to BK to get some food then I dropped them off and went home. Oh yeah my Aunt and Uncle are coming over so I got kicked out of my room with absolutely no notice.

Random Things.....

I'm actually pretty excited about going to Prom.......

I'm pretty happy with myself cuz I've just about moved on. It's one of those things you can kinda sense inside of yourself. I'm just glad that were still really good friends (ain't that right)

Jason and Steph are going out a lot now, that's really cool they would go good together......

Tara and my sis talked while I was gone....cool cool although Tawni did get me a little scared.....(nunery....)

Something I can't stand anymore is 2 faced people. I witnessed it again and I would have thought he would have more backbone than to just cave in to everyone else. I'm far from perfect but he should have just said nothing......

heh really tired I'm half asleep writing this so I'm gonna go crash on the couch....

3 Updates Today!?!?!?!?!? Holy Smokes Batman!!!!!!

Ok so I just got home from Albertsons and Cousins. But I'll start off a little earlier, I was half asleep when Hubert called, he asked me if I was going to ask Amber cuz he thought I did already but anyways I was talking to him about Chenda and he said something like were probably gonna go but he wasn't sure and then he said if no one asked Amber he would. So pretty much Hubert has given me that little extra push to make sure I go thru with it and not chicken out. So then I fall into half sleep again when Adam calls. He asks if I'm going to Cousin's and I guess my original plan was to but later but since I didn't want Adam to be out of the loop I said sure ok. So I call up Frank and I pick him up. We arrive and since I wasn't that hungry I gave my free sub to Frank ( I really wish I didn't now but oh well I guess that means I have to buy 12 more before I get my free one). I talked to them about Prom and I still get some heat from losing to Jason's Blazer....lol damn I knew I had a bad feeling about that race. Anyways Adam had to go back to work so Frank and I ordered some drinks and kept talking. I talked about Hubert and Frank will give me a lot of shit if she says yes to Hubert and not me so hopefully it won't turn out that way. Then I Stephanie invites me to become part of the Cousin's family by just doing the chips (organize the chip rack and rearrange it according to date). I said sure why not and I'm off to it, but then I hear Tawni talk to Steph and their saying how they were able to talk their friends into doing chips so I got tricked....lol oh well......Steph said Frank wasn't an important customer.....lol so he rearranged the words on the sign to say "try our chicken breasts lad"....lol..... Oh yeah they were also talking about some girl who supposedly likes me although they didn't tell me.....hopefully it's not Carmen (so darn noisy).....anyways afterwards me and Frank go to Albertsons and I'm trying to get some flowers......that didn't go to well, I couldn't decide whether I should have gotten red, pink, or yellow rosees. After 15 minutes of deliberation I chose to go the safe route an go with good ole fashion red roses. On the way home Frank continues on the Hubert thing and we talk about why he called me Paul.....I guess I said something about being a nice guy and Frank was gonna say something about "but not to Paul"....lol Frank (he's the witty comment person in our little group)...... We then scope out Amber's house looking for where were going to put the flowers and everything...lol too bad her mom was standing in front of the house so I drove around the block 4 times and she watched us drive by every single time...... Anyways to wrap it all up, I'm starting to have doubts about my whole Trail of flowers Idea so I'll wing it tomorrow morning........

Random Things....

It's almost 9 and Marianne isn't here yet???

Plan J Pt. II and My Views On War (Just For You Tara)

My day was alright although I felt a little irritated but that faded towards the end of the day. Maybe it was cuz 1st and 2nd period was so boring, and I didn't have anyone to talk to cuz the teach moved everyone around me. Adrian and his girlfriend had their one month aniversary.....for those who don't know it's quite a funny story although a bit fucked up, Adrian got drunk and asked Trista out the day before valentines day. Anyways he couldn't get out of it so he was stuck going out with her although he doesn't do anything with her. He didn't even know it was their one month and she got him a card so he was trying to get me to ditch and get her a flower. I didn't and I don't know what he ended up doing. In Bio Ashby wasn't there so we watched some movie then went to the library.....lol it's always funny when me and Tawni go to the library cuz all we ever do is look at our blogs and take a bunch of quizzes..... Carmen (the girl that I think has a crush on me) was all wondering what we were doing. Hopefully she didn't look at my blog address. It was funny cuz she asked Tawni and me what we were doing, and if we were writing notes to each other. We were like "ummm yeah, were on the.......message board?!?!?!" It was funny....then she starts laughing for some strange reason and I still don't know what she was doing it for. Oh yeah and also she made fun of my poor ass vision...that hurt Tawni.....j/k........ At lunch I was thinking about asking Amber to the prom today but since I'm so creative I'll do it tomorrow. Here's the final plan dubbed "Plan J". I'll leave a trail of flowers that will lead to the side of the house. That's where I'll be standing and then I'll ask her to prom when she hits the end of the trail. Sounds dumb but I have it implanted in my head. Don't forget Tawni if she says no the blame will be on you. Don't have anything planned for today although Marianne is coming back today...lol yeah.....

I've never talked about the war with Iraq mainly cuz I wasn't sure of all the facts and cuz I didn't want it to be really long. But since Tara wants to hear it then I'm gonna to write about it for a little. Well as many of you know I'm pretty much a pacifist (doesn't like to use violence except in certain circumstances) but I believe that right now were in a situation where our options are running out and each day it looks like were getting closer to war. I personally dislike war but i know that sometimes that is the only alternative. Iraq right now has weapons of mass destruction and obviously we would be one of their primary targets if and/or when they decided to use it. Lets not sugar coat anything we have been at odds with Iraq for years now. Yeah it may be a little hypocritcal that we have nukes but we say they can't but were also running a democratic government so the president can't just say let's drop a nuke on them. Sadaam on the other hand does have the power to initiate that demand from his government and if given the opportunity I believe he would. I respect that the other countries have chosen to stay out of this ordeal although I believe some of the countries are just out their to look out for themselves even though we have probably helped them in the past. I'm glad that president bush hasn't gone to his "your with us or against us" motto cuz I believe that is dumb and each country has their right to chose whether or not to get involved in matters. Now with all the weapons that Iraq has claimed to have destroyed, I think that with each missile they destroy, they make 5 more and if they weren't making anymore then how come their so hesitant to not let us look at all their factories at once instead of one at a time. I could talk a lot more about it but if you want to hear more about it I'm cool with that. I honestly hope that we can come up with a peaceful median with this situation because thousands of men are being shipped to fight if they end up in war. Oh yeah one other thing, rumors of the draft are sprouting like wild fire, I believe that the draft shouldn't be reinstated cuz I think if you want to fight then you will but if you don't want to then I don't think they should force you. Me personally wouldn't mind going off to war only if the country is in dire need of soldiers. Although I hope it doesn't come to that.....*crossing fingers*....no war......

Random Things.....

I'm estimated Prom to be mighty expensive, Jason was thinking about getting a limo and we cut split 4 ways between Jason (his date Steph), Paul (his date Tawni), me (*hopefully Amber), and Shawn (his date Emily although I heard they broke up and she called it off).

I get to listen to a slow jamz cd that Tawni made......

Tomorrow I'm gonna play Mike and Jeff at pool....who should my partner be........

I'm feeling much better after last nite, but I still have a bad feeling about something......

Mike went over to Tawni's last nite to straighten things out....

----Note To Tawni----
Don't know Mike so I don't know whether he's telling the truth or not (more likely not) but if you do end up forgiving him, just be careful, I don't want you to get hurt with him again, and as for me I'll try to keep an ear out for any 2-faced peeps since it's the least I can do for not warning you about Ian.....(still very sorry about it)
----End Note-------

----Note To Tiano-----
read your secret blog and yeah I know that it sux that you couldn't work out a friendship with Ricciee although it's probably for the best. Don't forget this is the same Ricciee that has this control over you. Your life seemed so meloncoly during the worst part of your break-up but you've started fresh and the future is so bright. I know that you loved Ricciee a lot and I don't know if you still do but everytime you fall hard it's always a bit harder trying to get yourself up and plus I think you need to get back into the game. Also with me, since she found out everything is getting a lot better for me and for our friendship...it's really nice......I think I'm starting to move on although I'm still quite not their yet. Oh well Tiano, you should call sometime Marianne's arriving at like 8 or 9 AZ time tonite.........
----End Note-------

----Note To Tara----
hey, hope you enjoyed my little war rant, yeah I think you and my sis would get along, I'll tell her to IM you sometime, you can check out her blog too if you want, it's under the links under Barbie.......well talk to you later
----End Note-----

Plan J

Song Of The Day - Frankie J - Don't Wanna Try
Currently Feeling - Irritated


You're the sad smile,the one that regrets nearly
everything and is constantly wondering about
what could have been.You're not happy with your
situation and usually blame yourself because of
the bad things that have happened.Cheer up.


What Kind of Smile are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


I'm at the library again with Tawni messing around. Yeah never do anything in the library but oh well...........hmmm................ Well update later peace out

Oh yeah Plan J is gonna happen tomorrow hopefullyit will says tawni...if it doesn't I'll be angry at herthe threats

A Quick Word

I just had a weird feeling, I passed out for a little bit then I woke up and I to this extremely bad feeling. I dunno what it was about, I know I had a dream but I can't remember what it was. I can't really explain it.......

oh yeah I just heard this song on lights out phoenix, it's a real nice song and will be the song of the day for tomorrow............Frankie J - Don't Wanna Try

"Prom"??? Is It In The Cards????

Song Of The Day - Ataris - Saddest Song Acoustic
Currently Feeling - Unknown

Last nite I went to Cousin's. Pretty cool I ate dinner with Tawni and Steph. I also got to watch the survalence film of them dancing...lol pretty funny.....Steph's got the moves, I wonder if Jason can hold up....lol...j/k.....afterwards I let Tawni borrow my slow jamz VIII cd and we talked outside for a bit about some stuff. Don't worry Tawni I won't scare away I promise. anyways I went to circuit city to get some cd's. Now I have no money for the time being and the worst part is they weren't the cd's I wanted....oh well......


hmm today was a pretty good day, I guess you could say. I talked to my councilor today and I'm ranked 17th percent and 74 out of 478 students. I got straight A's this semester so hopefully that bumps me up into the 15th percentile. Too bad frosh year I goofed off so much and got 3 C's. Marketing I took my tests which were pretty easy. Bunton moved Purcell so it'll be a lot quieter although I still have Adrian to keep me awake. In bio, Tawni and me actually worked on our mitosis flip book. The reason why I was a little down was just cuz I was doin some thinkin...nothing major.....At lunch after I ate, I went to my car with Jason and when I was coming back Tawni called me over and we went back and forth campus talking. She told me it would be a good idea if I asked Amber. That was the original plan but I wasn't sure if Moosh-Moosh was gonna ask her. So now I'm coming up with something creative to do to ask her to prom. Of course I've got a plan, I just gotta flatten out some of the details. Gotta wake my romantic side back up for planning. Anyways math, I was trying to come up with some ideas with the help of Alicia and Holly. Afterschool I dropped off some of my mail then I went to get some gas.......$2.11 for a gallon of gas......that's outrageous. I don't have much homework so I'm gonna be lounging around the house....

Random Things.....

I'm curious how I came up during this whole prom thing......it's kinda funny cuz I was planning on telling Jason I wasn't planning on going...........

Coincidence or not.........Mr. Ashby is not gonna be here tomorrow or Fri becuz he said he's going to Mexico....ok sounds realistic although he sounded a bit shady about what he was doing in Mexico.......Also I found out today that Mr. Dice won't be here for the rest of the week because of the robotics regional........Now for those who don't know the old advisor for robotics was Ms. Liewer and I'm pretty sure she's going to be in attendence for the regionals.......also last year everyone suspected something between Liewer and Ashby.....lol Ashby is gonna hear my jokes on Mon about it......hmmm hopefully he doesn't retaliate on me.....


The Ataris cd is pretty sick I'd recommend it.......

Don't know if Amber reads my blog but I'll post what my concept plan is...........I live pretty close to her so Fri morning before school I'll park my car off to the side of her house and stand next to her garage and I'll surprise her with some *flowers (not sure if it's gonna be flowers or something different) and then ask her to prom.....sick...sick.....

***New***

Tara finally got her blog up, it should be at the bottom of the page under links.....

Jackasses

Song Of The Day - Blaque - Bring It All To Me
Currently Feeling - Angry

Ok I gotta say some stuff that I'll save towards the end, but I'll briefly go over my day. hmmm....nothing really throughout the day stood out. I talked to Jason afterschool and he was trying to convince me to go ask someone to prom. I'm thinking about it and I guess I have someone in mind although I'm not sure if I want to. So if anything becomes concrete I'll write it.

Random Things....

Jeff is jealous of Alicia. I mean Alicia is going out with Jeff's best friend but they no longer kick it because Mike is always with her. I can see where Jeff is coming from and I think it's a good thing that Jeff held up to his word that he wouldn't say anything bad to Alicia......

----Note To Tiano------
Don't know what the plans are for Hawaii but as soon as I get info I'll tell you so you can get your tickets. I can't wait till Hawaii!!!!! Oh yeah and what's the deal with you and Ricciee??????
-----End Note--------

The thinking for me has temporarily stopped for the meantime because lately Tawni's been really down about moving back in with her mom and with her ex (some dork named Mike).

I don't know if this was the bad omen I was feeling.......

----Note To Tawni-----
Hey, I'm sorry my last note made you tear up, but I was completely honest in what I said. I know I can't really understand what you are going thru with your mom right now so I can't really give you any advice on it but I can give you a word of encouragement. You are better than your mom is and you will succeed in life because you have the determination to do it. So although life seems murky right now all you have to do is look ahead to the future and realize that it's as clear as daylight. On the other hand with Mike, he's an ASSHOLE plain and simple and i hope you enjoy bitching him out. If he continues to say shit all you have to do is say the word and I'll take care of it. And finally trust......Yeah I do remember what you said cuz it really did matter to me about what you said. I don't know Paul, I don't particularly like him, but I'm good at analyzing people and as hard as it is for me to say this I don't think you'll have to worry about him turning on you. I'm sure he's a good guy and wouldn't hurt u like they did. But in the event I'm wrong I'll fix my mistake and take care of it...heh j/k.......well take care and now I remembered about the deviled eggs so I'll be expecting them soon. Oh yeah and enjoy the poem book
-----End Note--------

hmmmm.... this is a brief post, im in the library sitting next to Jeff and Tawni doing some mitosis work although I've been in here for about 30 minutes yet haven't done shit. Oh hi says Tawni. I gave her my book of poetry since it would have ended up in the trash. Tiano can't wait for Hawaii bro. hmmm well I can think of anything else to write about so I'll write when I get home.

Thinking Is Dangerous

Song Of The Day - Air Supply - All Out Of Love
Currently Feeling - Bothered

hmmm....where to start? I guess I'll start off with my day then say what I'll try to word out. My day went alright I wasn't really all there but that's besides the point. In english I got my poetry book back which was called Unforseen. I got my 200 points so I'm happy but I don't want to keep the book so I'm gonna give it to Tawni seeing how 3 out of the 5 poems were pretty much about her. In marketing Bunton won the pride of peoria award. I guess that's a big honor and he had this big ass grin on his face but he tried to keep it inside. I have nothing against him so good job Mr. Bunton. In Bio, I got a B on the test which is pretty ok. I have an A in the class but on my report card I have a 89. That sux one percent off from getting an A but I guess that's alright. Tawni was trying to figure out what was I thinking about (more about that later) but I couldn't really put my thoughts into words. Also Tawni is more than likely moving back in with hitler (mom) which isn't good. She cried a little which is a very weird thing cuz she is a very strong willed person so obviously it was a pretty big hit to her. I tried to make her better as best as I could but it's not one of those things I can just go to the source and change it myself (Ian) but I did try my best. At lunch I just ate in but when I went to the car we were talking to Shawn Mc. and we saw a half eaten Cousin's Subs next to his car. Somehow that led to Frank saying something about how I hated Paul which I told him I didn't hate but rather don't like him....heh anyways Shawn actually saw where I was coming from which was cool but helped Adam's cause when he said to get an EVO VIII. Afterschool I just dropped off Frank, kicked it at home for a bit, then picked up my sis. I talked to Ian for a bit and he told me his 4 month drought of going clean was over which was a bit of a dissapointment but he did say that it was only a one time thing. I don't really have much planned, I could get a haircut, or I could go to the park with Adrian and play some basketball with some peeps (of course I would get killed cuz everyone there is really good).

Random Things....

Spring break is two weeks away so the tentative plan is to have a road trip to the high country to play in the snow. Also since Jason has a BBQ grill were going to go to the desert and have a BBQ.

Since we saw the video Adam has been pretty adament into making a video of what our group does, so during the summer before everyone turns 18, the great summer vandalism will return for a little bit so we have footage. Also were all planning on pitching in and buying a $200 car and going to the desert and fucking it up....lol great.....

Adam is still trying to get someone to rib me. Gosh Tawni is so lucky that I always hold back on her...lol j/k

I've started working on Unexpected Friendship V1 after my break from poetry. Once I finished, I'll edit it accordingly then post it up

Ok so as I mentioned Sun, thinking is a dangerous thing. Obviously that's what I've been doing lately although I don't know why. I've been thinking about a couple things. I would have written about it yesterday but I couldn't really put it in words and when Tawni called last nite I couldn't word it then. Then today I couldn't word it to her and i'm gonna try now although I'm not sure if this is gonna make sense. So here it goes....... Well one has been....... well sometime last week Tawni asked me about when Troy said that he would try to break them up if I wanted him to, if I thought about saying yes to him. I said I did for a little bit but I decided against it. Well I dunno I've just been thinking why I considered it. I mean a good friend wouldn't have thought twice about saying yes but I did. Yeah I know it seems a little trivial but that's one thing that I've been thinking of. That's not exactly how I wanted to word it but that took a long time so I'm not gonna redo it. 2nd thing I've been thinking about is that I thought that once she knew and it was all confronted then I would be able to move on and to a certain extent I have. But I still have a little piece that is saying otherwise. I can't think of anything else to write about that. And the final thing is I have a strange feeling that something bad is gonna happen. I dunno what or who about just a general bad feeling/vibe. That's the best I can describe my feelings and thoughts right now so that'll have to do.

-----Note To Tawni---------
Tawni I know your having problems with your mom but you are a very strong willed person and that you can get through it. Good things will always happen to good people and your a wonderful person no matter what Ian or even your mom says. And if you ever need help I know me or someone else will always be there to lend you a hand. Don't forget that line in my poem "To Protect her from the darkness. Stick with her, never leave or desert"..... So don't feel sad and cheer up cuz only one of us can be sad at a time or else you ruin the whole balance of things...heh j/k.....well have fun......oh yeah and update your blog I'm tired of seeing just joshin ya :)........
------End Note------------

One other thing I have to mention..........thinking is a dangerous thing, it can make someone go from being good to depressed in seconds. You don't even notice your thinking until you start feeling different. And once you start thinking, it snowballs and next thing you know you can't stop thinking. Then next thing you know your listening to 50 cent to try to block it out of your head. So to end my post, I've got to stop thinking

The New Pastime

Song Of The Day - Baby - What Happened To That Boy
Currently Feeling - Good

hmmm what did I do last nite, during Adam's lunch break we went to BK, he reminded me of the import car show that was going on and told me I still had time to catch the wet bikini contest but it was kinda far and I was kinda tired so i didn't go but instead took a little nap. Alex called and wanted to go film but I felt tired so I made up some dumb excuse. Finally Adam got off work so I came over. We went to Brunswick to shoot pool but the pool table was broken. So we went back to his house to look for a place to shoot pool. Adam called Dusty and picked him up from work. We gave him shit for kissing Melody Moody and also for jacking an amp from his work. Afterwards we went to Sopheaks house to see if he was coming to the party. At his house there was some family gathering with like 60 asian peeps so I wasn't sure who to ask. Everyone was staring at me and I wasnt sure whether to just walk in. Finally some guy asks what I'm doing here and he gets Sopheak for me. We picked him up and went to Alberts house. It was pretty cool, they bought soda and we ordered 6 pizzas. We put the money in an air tight bag so that it looked like a lot of money. We only had $35 but the total came to $45 so it was really funny. We all just talked for a little bit. There was about 15 peeps. we watched the video which was pretty cool although I didn't know what any of the moves were called. Adam, Sopheak, and me went to his computer to find directions to the pool hall and we looked at his video files and we told everyone that he had the mad stash of porn.....lol everyone gave him shit and his excuse was that everyone in his house uses the computer. Anyways after the party, we dropped off Sopheak, picked up Dusty and Jason, and went to Rosario's to see if Frank got off work yet. We ended up going to the pool hall at 43rd and Peoria which was right next to Great skate. Jason and me ended up losing twice and Adam and Dusty lost once. I have a feeling now that we found a decent pool hall, were gonna be playing pool at lot more now.

Random Things.....

Today I just have to go to church, then I'll probably just go kick it at home and chill so that I'm ready for tomorrow....

Pool will probably be the new pastime, then when money comes flowing in again we'll go bowling, then after that minature golfing

Just got done talking to Tara and listening to all the shit and vandalism they did and it reminded me of the summer when we did shit like that......

We only have 1-2 more years before they consider us adult so were planning on making a movie on it.....

I'm still getting shit for the infamous lost to the blazer but on the plus side I found a deal on this Lexus GS 400 for only $31,500 so I'm gonna go check that out soon