Song Of The Day- Nerd - Rockstar Poser
Currently Feeling- Sick
This Day In History- 3yrs ago- My parents bought me Spider Man
Well last night was pretty fun and very laid back. After chilling around the apartment for a little bit, Michelle called to tell us to meet them up at the Olive Garden. So Bottcher and me got some gas at the Diamond, and then we went to Olive Garden with Michelle, Sarah, and Aditi. It was pretty fun, the waitress hooked us up with mad amounds of Andies, and then she dropped Aditi's chicken when we were trying to put it in the box so she gave us a new one. So i gave her a 97% tip because she was extremely nice and my glass was always filled with water which is essential if you want a good tip for me. Anyways after that we split apart for bit. Sarah and Aditi went to pick up Vidula while Michelle, Bottcher, and me went to blockbuster. We wanted Saw but they didn't have it so i bought it. So we all met up at my apartment and chilled in my room and watched the movie.....lol it was so funny cuz Aditi was so scared. We tried to convince her to watch Saw II but it's unlikely but i'm sure we'll be able to convince her. After the movie, Sarah took home Vidula while the rest of us partied up in the MDX and headed to blockbuster. We listened to "My humps", it was very funny. We rented Harold and Kumar and headed back into my room to watch it. Lol i can watch that movie over and over again. I got crap from everyone as they would compare me to Harold and his lack of talking abilities when around Maria.
Today was more of a laid back day. I woke up around 10 and watched tv and checked some stuff online. At noon i took my shower and headed out to campus to do some bio stuff and to study for Ochem. The key thing that i forgot was that today was homecoming day/the football game. So i had trouble parking and moving around campus. Also i couldn't park at my garage which ruined my original plan of going to koffler to do bio, then go eat lunch, then go to my car and pick up my computer and go to the library and study. Instead I had to park at Tyndall and carry all my shit to koffler. Maybe they were scared that there was so much people cuz they decided to lock up the whole building. So there went the bio thing. Next there was a parade that was blocking the main entry to the union and my back was starting to kill me just a little so decided to head to the library. I got to the fourth floor to study but couldn't escape the loud fervor outside. I studied for a good three hours before i decided to pack things up. I think i got a good idea of what i'm doing now too. I'm going to synthesize like a fiend now. After that i tried to go to the union but they wouldn't allow me to take my food past the food court so i said nuts to it and just went to the ATM and took out some money and drove to MickieD's. I watched 'Zona kill the Bruins and i took a nap because i started feeling like shit. Now i'm kinda just chilling again and i'm either playing poker or watching batman.
Random Things.....
- I talked to Aditi about this a couple days ago.......as everyone who remotely knows me, I'm a hopeless romantic haha. There are for the most part two different romantics that branch off from hopeless romantic: there is the person who mentality is to try every possibility in hopes of finding that "someone" special. Then there is Type II or what I coined "the Serendipity mentality", which essentially is someone who will go off "fate" or that special "feeling" that tells you they are something different. I obviously am the latter of the two types haha.
-Branching off from that point, there are a couple of problems that can stem from the "serendipity mentality". 1st off the feeling may be manipulated for a short period of time. By this I mean, you or others may to convince you that you like the person, and possibly creating a feeling that may not be there. This has happened to me where i've convinced myself that i like that person and try to emulate that "special" feeling, or my friends will try to convince me i like a certain girl and i'll go with it. The second problem may not happen based on your personality but is a problem for me. The problem being, since the feeling is selective, if you get that feeling can you act on them? For me that answer is so far a no. This is a major problem becaus then you won't have as much opportunities as someone who is a romantic Type I.
- So how can you tell a fake "feeling" from a "real" feeling? From the title of todays blog "Sometimes Stupid is a Good Thing", stupidity. If the feeling is real, you will sometimes feel compelled to do stupid and irrational things. Sometimes these stupid things are planned and sometimes they are completely on the fly, but when you think about it, you normally ask yourself "what the fuck is wrong with me".
- So looking back, how do i compare in terms of identifying correct feelings from emulated feelings. It is logical to start from junior year because i could drive and it's easier to show stupid acts. But before i start from junior year, i have to say the first "stupid" thing i did for a girl. This was in fifth grade, the girl: Jenn Beam, i was crushing bad on her, you should all remember the feeling, elementary school love...haha....anyways one day i decided to show her how i felt by giving her an origami flower and a smiley face ring (they were popular at the time). Was this act stupid.....yes......was it irrational....yes......did it accomplish my goal....no....i pinpoint this for my shyness....i got shot down in probably one of the cruelest ways possible. The flower, she gave to my teacher, the ring in the trash (the rings whereabouts are actually iffy, i remember either the ring was in the trash or she just didn't take it)........:(
- So going back to the topic junior year and part of senior year there was Tawni. Was the "feeling" real? Yes......what stupid thing did i do......a lot......one in particular was going to hooters and going 105-110 off the off ramp just so that i wouldn't get shown up by paul. Lol but yes junior year i was just a stupid and irrational person in general because of her haha......So the next person was Katie.....this i would be inclined to say "emulated". The reason for this was probably due to me just trying to "move on". Also i didn't feel inspired to do anything stupid, i asked her out, she said no, that was the end of it. The next person would have to be Vicky. This would probably be another "emulated" but i'm very glad i did try to go for it. I think the whole Vicky thing i had to pursue only because we always seemed to be each others date for homecoming and we seemed to get along. But ya if i didn't try to be "more than friends" with her than i wouldn't be nearly as good friends with her as i am now. Then there was Ashley, "Jason's ex". This i would have to say yes it was a real feeling. I mean really, i went to Quizzno's so much that i just got sick of it. The only reason why i didn't get sick of Cousins subs was because i was able to experiment with my subs. Anyways i came almost everytime she would work. I remember i spent the entire day there once, we talked, and then we would play frisbee until customers came. I then would help her close....i was literally there for her whole shift. I would also find excuses to come down there like "my parents wanted subs", so i would order like 3 subs and then i would give them to my parents and they would give me a weird look and ask me why i had three subs.........stupid....uh huh...irrational....yuppers.....the only problem was i never asked her out and i was about to go to Tucson.......So in Tucson, there wasn't anyone frosh year but this year there was a little Monica thing going and i can tell you that this one was an "emulated".....actually it was emulated exactly, i think i did like her but i just didn't have that "feeling". Like ok I offered her textbooks which was quite stupid but i was under the influence so i can't count that. Plus with the whole Plan Slam thing, i wasn't quite motivated and my ball is still flat.
- So that leads me up to now......the girl from my lab (who's name i haven't written because I don't want to put it here just for no reason). Now at first observation, you could say maybe it's because everyone says i should go for it but this in fact isn't correct. When we first had lab, i really did notice her but I didn't do anything because i thought i was out of her league. But yet, there is something about her that seems different like i said earlier. Refreshing is the word i used.....Like being in college for a couple of years now, i have come to kinda hate sitting next to sorority girls because they have really stupid conversations. I hate to generalize all sorority girls cuz i should know that not all of them are like that but i'd like to say majority could very well be that shallow and mean. This is why i like hanging around the girls, because we can have stupid conversation or talk about science and just in general be ourselves. But anyways with her, there is a certain vibe i get that she just seems like a really caring, nice person even though i don't know her really well or actually at all. But even when she says something to me and we have our 30 sec conversations, it kinda makes my day. and today when i was on campus, i was hoping that i would bump into her although there was probably a one and a million chance because of homecoming and you couldn't pick out anyone because they were wearing red. But still, i couldn't help but hope that i would have the luck of bumping into her. And another stupid thing that i forgot to mention on Fri, was that i sometimes see her after calculus, but i ditched calc on fri so after i had lunch with aditi and michelle i walked all the way back to harvill, waited til the bell rang then went back.......that's probably the stupidest thing i've done since coming to the UofA but i still did it with hundreds of butterflies in my stomach.
- Anyways the point i'm trying to get to is, i don't know if this thing with her is going to work...i'm hoping so but i'm not an optimist when it comes to girls. But the fact is that I have that "feeling" and so far i've only felt it two other times and both times i didn't even give myself a shot because i did not forge ahead to ask the question. So hopefully i can chart unexplored territory and find out maybe if there is anything to this "feeling"......
* all my opinions and facts are based off my own experiences. It is likely and probable that things maybe different for other people. But for those with "serendipity mentality", i hope this was helpful...haha
