Needed The Time To Think

Needed The Time To Think

Song Of The Day - Michelle Branch - Breathe
Currently Feeling - I Don't Know

I haven't written in a couple days because I felt I needed to take a step back and think things over. I really wished it would have come up before my trip to NAU rather than after cuz I could of used the time on the road to think it over, but unfortunately it didn't reoccur to me til a day after. Something said bugged me a couple days ago, something I knew was gonna happened but it still bugged the hell out of me. I have been thinking a lot about it along with other stuff this weekend and the fact that stuff like this is still getting to me is the reason why I have to think about going with Plan R. No one knows about Plan R but it was something someone said a while ago to me that I didn't even consider it for a second. I also know it was something that I don't think I could of done back then and I don't know if I could allow myself to do it now. But it's something that I have to think about if it doesn't improve. I had a lot of time to think about it, and I just couldn't imagine it happening. So instead I tried to think of alternate ideas to solve my problem and I'm gonna try those. I'm sorry I'm being very vague about everything but it's something I haven't really talked to anyone about, and I don't want to tell anyone what Plan R is.

Sorry about the last paragraph but it's been kinda building up from the weekend, and I needed to get a little steam outta me. I'll try to recap the last few days as best as possible.

Sat
I woke up early cuz the library called, and I won the weekly drawing for free movie tickets...lol I was excited cuz it has been a while since I won something. I called Adam and we went to the library to get my gift. We then went to Mickie D's cuz he wanted to redeem his coupon. I talked to him a little about easing up on what he was looking for in a girl. He's very picky about girls, but I just kinda talked to him about how you can't expect a supermodel to come up to you and ask you for your number. We then got into a big convo about looks vs. personality, and although I can't say that looks doesn't have any factor in it, it's not nearly as big as personality. This can differ from person to person and I didn't really say any deeper cuz I know Adam is more into getting laid so I wasn't gonna waste my breath. After McD's we went to T-Mobile so that he could take a look at cell phone plans. We went back to his house and chilled there for a while. We then shot some pool and then dropped by Frank's to see if he wanted to watch Oceans 11 at my house. He was gonna go with Jason to Kim's house cuz there was a get together again. I wanted to go with them but I knew Adam didn't really want to so I decided to go later that nite. Oh yeah by the way, Jason made the excuse at sleeping at my house again. Anyways we watched the movie, then he left and I went over to Kim's at around 12. I was only expecting to hang out for a while but I ended up talking to Steph and Emily, and ended up staying a couple hours. Frank drank too much, and was throwing up. In fact I was the only sober one there. Jason got hungry so I took him to Jack in the Box where he started talking about how he got a buzz and all. It was funny, I then refereed the caps drinking game between Jason and Cam. Mike came over and I talked to him for the first time in a while. I left around 2-3 and passed out.

Sun
I went to church with Marianne, then picked up Barbie and watched Finding Nemo....it was a pretty good movie I'll admit, It was really a funny movie. Afterwards i played more video games. I beat Wild Arms but it had such a shitty ending, I went over to Frank's house cuz Jason wanted me to come over. I only stayed for a few cuz I was gonna eat dinner. After that I had a sudden urge to watch a movie, so I rented Brown Sugar, and Punch Drunk Love. I came home and I got in the reclining seat and I accidentally knocked over the ironing board breaking the measuring cup. I cleaned it up and continued watching it. I really like the movie, it was a sweet romantic comedy that seemed a bit different than the ones I usually watch.

Random Things....

Oh yeah I burned the new Michelle Branch cd and I'm planing on burning the new rufio cd. The Michelle Branch cd is pretty good. I really like the song Breathe, It has a nice chorus.

I may not show it, but majority of all my personality is based on my emotions. I'm a pretty emotional person although I don't show it to a lot of people but it affects everything I do and I how I act. I had a talk with someone about the real "you". For me, there is the "me" that I show around majority of time to people. I get along with most people but tend to be a little more quiet until I get to know you better. But then there is the real "me" which I show to close friends and family. It's the "me" that writes in the blog. I don't show the real "me" cuz it leaves you vulnerable to people. And I'm sure that that most people if not all are the same way.

Plan R????.... Not If I Can Help It

Plan R??.....Not If I Can Help It

Currently Feeling - A Little Bad

Well today I was really tired. Last nite after I blogged, Jason called and he was gonna stay the nite at Kim's but told his parents that he was at my house but they invited me to come over. I was too tired to however so I chose not to. I couldn't quite go to sleep though so I played Wild Arms til I passed out. This morning I was supposed to go with Adam to Audio Express to fix his sub but I was too tired. I told him I would go with him tomorrow though to Audio and to T-Mobile.... I hung out at home til around 5 then I went and ate dinner at Pei Wei with Jason and Dustin. After we dropped Dustin off Jason and me had a little talk about Dustin and his gf's relationship and how he says he loves her and stuff. Anyways we went and played pool until his cousins arrived. We hung out with his cousin and friend for a while then Steph came over and we hung out. I got tired so I went home and now I'm here.....

Random Things......

I've known for a long time what Plan R was gonna be about, but unlike the other plans this one is completely different. It's something that I wish will never have to come to but as I have learned today, it may have to. I have tried hard other solutions to solve but none have been successful. It's something that I have told no one and don't plan to tell anyone. I really don't have much to say about it other than if it comes down to me having to execute Plan R, it would be something that would be something very hard for me to do and hurt me very much.

Plan JAM Completed....Or Is It?

Well I got home a couple hours from NAU....it was a long trip but it was all worth it cuz I haven't seen her in 3 weeks....lol doesn't sounds too long but it was too me....anyways the trip there was fun.....I sped the whole way...it was especially fun when on the twisty mountain going 90....It only took me 1 1/2 hours so I decided to go to Wal Mart to get some water and to also see if there were any hot college girls....... I didnt' find any...... anywho after that I decided to go find Tawni's dorm room...and of course I got lost...an hour later I found it and I realized I drove by it only 6 times....Once again it was really good to see Tawni....I gave her Plan JAM which was her birthday gift.....I wanted to put a lot of thought into it, so I picked out gifts which each had their own meaning.....I got her a stuffed Moose, The Cher "Heart Of Stone" Cd, and the hardest part of it..the picture of Paul and me from last time I went to Cousins....It doesn't sound too meaningful but they are all pretty much stuff most people wouldn't get....Anyways it was really difficult to find them all, the Moose I couldn't find anywhere until on the 3rd visit to a mall I found one left in the cartoon corner which I hid next to the piglets.....the Cher cd was hard too cuz it's her cd from 1989 so I had to go from store to store til I found it......then last but not least was the picture....It was the hardest to accomplish and strangely expensive.....Jason and me spent 2 hours at Cousins and the picture we took, we had to crop Jason out of it....Anyways I didn't know how expensive trying to print one picture from a digital camera was but it was like $8 for 3 copies of one picture.....I gave the other 2 to Steph and I still have one to anyone who wants it.....or maybe i'll keep it....maybe......The card I gave her, my gosh I wrote so damn much, I should probably not do that so much, but I always seem to have a lot to write about cuz I tend to bottle what I want to say in and I can get small amounts of it out in cards......I met her friend Lacy who seemed pretty nice but she really didn't get a lot about what Tawni and me were talking about, no one ever really does...I couldn't stay long cuz she had to report back so we said the goodbye's and were on our separate ways....I was a little hesitant about driving back though cuz it was gonna get dark before I get back, my left elbow is killing me when I make a movement with it, and I was getting a little tired.....I ate dinner at Mickie D's and then I was off....I listened to Slow Jamz 5 and 2.... I haven't listened to 5 in a long time because it reminds me of when I made it, so listening to it brought back old dug up memories from December......On the way to NAU I was thinking about everything, but I didn't spent all my time on one....The way back I thought of mostly one thing that Tawni brought up........It was scary on the way back though I thought I was gonna fly off the road cuz going back ur going downhill so it doesn't take much to accelerate, I was a bit tired and I was on the mountain, I look at the spedometer to see I'm going above 90 and there are a bunch of sharp turns there....it was a good thing I had the volvo.......I got back in an hour fifteen minutes and went to Frank's house....we just played smash bros with Adam and Frank's bro Nick, Jason called up and wanted to see if we wanted to go go-kart but I was feeling tired so I didn't and the other 2 were broke......

Random Things......

All of u know I'm a pretty peaceful guy, There are only a handful of people who I would say I "hate" and doubt I would have any trouble turning violent on them.....(and no Paul isn't on it, he was maybe 1st semester but only temporarily) but my point is It takes a lot to get there and the people there deserve it....

It was a very worthwhile trip cuz I was really starting to miss her, and I wasn't gonna take the chance on not seeing her again so I went. She's coming back for the 4th of July weekend so hopefully I'll get to talk or see her again (if she calls this time...just joshin ya) and the only time I have on my planner to come back to NAU is her graduation....

Plan JAM was thought to be completed but last nite a new part was added although it's not really my part, I'm just helping.....(Tawni, you won't guess who I doing this with but I know u'll like the gift)

340 Miles to JAM

Song Of The Day - Nelly - Shake Ya Tailfeather
Currently Feeling - Excited

Well today I had to drop by the library because I left something in Adam's car. I rented Oceans Eleven at the library. After that I had to pick up a few supplies and ate lunch. So with a full tank of gas in the volvo I think I'm ready to go. I have about 30 minutes before I leave, so at 2:30 I'll be gone on the I-17 N heading to Flagstaff, home of meteor Crater I believe.....Wish me luck, and if I don't return, tell Jason my blog address....that's my wish

The Fast And The Not So Furious

Song Of The Day - Smilez and Southstar - When Your Gone / Aladin - A Whole New World
Currently Feeling - Scared

Well after the delay with blogger, I am now able to update in the new blogger thing which looks nice but I don't think it makes it any better or worse.

Last nite after I had a bit to get off my chest I had to write something. Yeah I gotta stop writing so damn much. I'm usually not like that but lately I have had trouble not taking up the whole page. I ended up finishing at around 3:30 then passed out. Today I hung out at home for a little bit then I went to Frank's so that I could show him the anime I was watching. It's called Hellsing and it's pretty sick. We watched about 4 episodes then we went to go play Smash Bros. He had to go to school soon so I went back home. Adam called up and he got off work early since he met his sales and so we went to the video store to try to find something. I called up Adrian and we hung out at his house and we played Street and Tony Hawk. Jason, Frank, Steph, Adam, Adrian and me decided to go shoot pool so we separated into teams. It was pretty packed since it was Karokee nite..... Everyone was trying to get me to sing especially Adrian since he knew me back when I could actually sing good. Ahhh the good ole days....anyways I learned that it would probably be for the best that we didn't do stuff with Adrian and Frank cuz they really don't mesh personality wise. Frank is probably the opposite of Adrian....you could feel a bit of a conflict. Anyways after pool we were driving to Adrian's house and there was this suped up CRX and this Hundai? and me with our own lanes on a light. I figured that I'm in a huge MDX, with 6 people that I don't lose anything if I race so I decided to step up to the plate. I could tell that the CRX had some shit under the hood and that I was gonna get killed. In the far right lane was the hundai complete with neon lites (I guess the lites added 10 HP each...lol)....so it turns green and I jump out to an early lead before the CRX takes over. The CRX is pretty good distance ahead and the hundai is far behind us. I wasn't too upset though cuz I mean really an MDX with 6 people that's 1000 lbs extra and I still killed the other car. Anyways I stopped accelerating at 45 mph when all of a sudden I see a cop fly by me. The CRX is going over 100 mph and gets pulled over, I get off 43rd as quick as possible and out of the cops view. I was really scared but no ticket for me. Now if I were in the Volvo I know that I would have tried to pull even with the CRX so I guess luck was on my side today.....

Random Things......

Well tomorrow I'm heading out to NAU for Plan JAM...I gotta do my praying tomorrow like I do whenever I have a road trip but it's not that far but still. I have the Volvo at my disposal thanks to my sis but I think I"ll go speed limit thanks to my experience tonite.......

I'm satisfied with the outcome of Plan JAM....umm i didn't perfect it but I hope the hard work shows to Tawni....or I else I'll shoot myself for going thru all the trouble......

Steph and me have a couple new plans....One is Steph's Plan JT which is to find out where Jason is most ticklish....So I think I'll ask his mom.....The other plan is a combo between me and Steph and is called Plan BFF of BFT (I'm not using plan JAME cuz this plan is a joint one)....BFT is Best Friends Temporary and BFF is Best Friends Forever....j/k Tawni Steph said BFT is good enough for her.......

Yeah hanging out with Adrian reminds me of the old elementary and early high school years.....We talked about the old days of selling burned cds (which made almost $2000 in less than two years) and he also gave me crap about listening to Suicide music (punk).....it's just kinda funny cuz back in the day I used to call Punk that and I remember saying I would never listen to it..... I was hardcore R&B and Rap.......So it's kinda funny Adrian making those comparisons. (Oh yeah just to let y'all know I didn't start listening to it due to it being "cool").....He also brought up me being the singer back in the ole Kachina days...lol funny he used to be one of my best friends but unlike the Darkness I can still relate to him and not just talk about the old days......

Plan JAM Officially Complete

Currently Feeling - A Little Upset

Well Plan JAM is finally done although right now there is a lot goin on inside my head right now, but i'll get to that. After I blogged Jason called and I was gonna pick him up and go to Cousins. I took a shower and we were off, we went and were there for about two hours. Afterwards we went to Target and then Hallmark so that Jason could apply. Afterwards we went to Jason's house and hung out there for a while. We had to go to Walgreens a couple times so that I could tie up a few loose knots. After that we went to Frank's to play his gamecube then Jason, Frank, Steph, and me went to go see the Hulk. It was a very long movie, and it was kinda dumb, but I didn't have too high a hope for it..... After I dropped off Jason, Steph, Frank and me had a little talk........

Random Things.....

Well I guess the date is set for the execution of Plan JAM, every part of it has been assembled, and it has been very tiring and hard on me at times but I'm glad it's done and On Thurs as long as nothing bad happens to me, it should be a go.....


I know that they are just trying to help out and stuff but I don't think they quite understand me. I mean they all have points to what they are saying but they don't get the whole thing. I had a talk with Jason about this earlier in the day and although he may have gotten a few points across, I don't think he really understood it. and I'm not saying it's his fault that he doesn't understand cuz he doesn't get the "Whole" me... There are still things that he has hasn't seen from me, or only things he has seen a glimse of. Not everything is cut in black and white and in my case it's usually all in grey......The same can be had for Steph....She doesn't know me as well as Jason but it's probably a girl thing that makes her more understanding. She also brings in a different view on things, but like Jason she doesn't quite understand everything about me. Frank, he is the person to give it to you straight but he sees things in only black and white. I don't expect them to understand me completely, nor would I really want them to becuz in order for them to understand me they have to see me completely as a person and not just a couple different aspects of it. Sometimes I don't understand myself, everytime I think I got it figured, it changes on me. Hmm there's a couple things I really want to say but I'll hold my tongue for now and write in where I think it should be written.......

Jason and Steph's 3 Months

Song Of The Day - Fabulous ft. Ashanti - Into You
Currently Feeling - Good

Yesterday was kind of a kickback day for me. It kinda had to be, I mean Adam and Frank were working, Jason and Steph...I didn't want to bother them on their "day". I was trying to reach Moses so that I could get the Volvo's windows tinted. I called some people I haven't talked to in a while but I didn't really feel like doing much. I helped my dad take out a couple dents in the volvo. lol my dad and cousin were joking around with me fixing dents for girls around school for $20 a dent. Of course they had to ask, what if the girl is beautiful, to which they answered it's free...lol but it didn't beat their other comment.....we were talking about watching the hulk. I said I was probably gonna watch it with my friend and my cousin said oh he means Tawni.....then my dad said, no Tawni's got a big boyfriend who James is scared of.....I then said he's kinda small and then my dad asked me why I was scared of him then....lol ya had to be there....I hung out with my sis afterwards and went to Walgreens to get some Stawberry Banana V8 Splash while my sis got Harry Potter. I then went to Target to find something and I found it but didnt' buy it yet cuz I swear I've seen it before....i Then went home, ate dinner, and went to sleep around 10.......I had this really weird dream last nite, I was in school, and I was late to class cuz I couldn't open my locker...I was with Moses who told me just to go home and sleep. Jesse then came up and helped out with the locker...I remember the combo too, it was 16-18-22.....I got a late pass and went to my class which was called Kindergarden (I'm guessing it was like COOP)...anyways all they did was watch movies and they had beds to lay down in...but one of the teachers kept smacking me in my ass...it was scary....then they said that I can't keep being late,late,late....and they kept repeating that...I figured out why though, my alarm clock was beeping to the same beat.....

Random Things....
Anyways I don't know the plan for today....Maybe watch the Hulk and I have to stop by Cousins with Jason so that I can complete my mission......If I go to NAU, it will be Thurs but I have to finish it today.....

Yesterday was Jason and Steph's 3 month...I completely forgot until i was about to call Jason but I remembered Plan JAY3 so I didn't......She did follow my advice and made chicken Parmesian...lol yea......

I've decided that I'm still gonna get the g35 although it's doubtful that it will be the coupe.....

I really like that song...it's been in my head all day and yesterday...oh yeah yesterday I also made a new R&B 2 cd...can't really compare though R&B 2 vs. Slow Jamz 15...my sis teases me that I have turned traitor cuz I used to be a big r&b person...I used to be able to listen to a hit 3 months before it came out on the radio but now some of my songs on the cd are old..

Maxima Vs. G35

Currently Feeling - Good

Well not too much happened yesterday. I decided to just stay at home with family. Hmmm today I'm gonna try to finish Plan JAM, then go to Walgreens, go with my sis to get the Harry Potter book...and probably hang out with the guys after they get off work.......

Random Things.....

Today is really short cuz one, I don't have much to write about today and cuz I"m kinda pressed for time right now....so if something interesting comes up I'll probably update later....

I test drove the new Maxima a couple minutes ago...pretty sick car but I dunno yet if I would get it over the g35

Plan JAM: 3/4th done but a few unexpected addons

Currently Feeling - Still Excited

I haven't updated in a while but I've been kinda busy with things.... So I guess I'll start from Thursday....


Thurs

Not much really happened, but for the first time all four of us hung out..... I met up at Frank's and they informed me of their "Operations"...Adam was working at the library so Frank, Jason, and me went over there to get free stuff. We got a bunch of coupons then went to the reference section to look around til Adam got done... After Adam got done we went to Sonics to get our free drinks then went to Frank's to go and play ping pong. I blanked out what happened after Franks house but later on that nite we all played pool....

Friday

My plans kinda got screwed up pretty bad. First the plan was for me and Steph to go hang out so we could help each other with our "Plans". Anyways my advice to her was to make Chicken Parmasian for Jason since that's his fav....I think he knows though since both me and Steph asked Jason about food and plus Jason asked me about what he should do for their 3 month and I told him not to do anything.... Jason knows me pretty well enough to know that I'm really not the type to say not to do anything for an aniversary...usually I have lots of plans for situations like that...but anyways I just told him to get a card....well Steph couldn't go so my morning was open. Adam, Frank, and me hung out at Frank's. We were supposed to watch better luck tomorrow but it wasn't playing anymore so that plan was scrapped....Frank went to work while Adam and me went to the mall cuz my cousin Lawrence asked me to buy a huge panda bear for his gf...I thought I would also kill 2 birds with one stone by working on Plan JAM. So we went but instead of a panda bear we got a huge lion....After that Adam and me went to Panda Express and ate some food. We went to my house to pick up a movie, then we hung out at Adam's for the rest of the nite.....

Sat
Steph and me hung out to get together Plan JAM. We got 2/4 done so all that's left is 1/4. After that I hung out at my house for a while then went with Jason to go look for a card. We found one then we hung out at his house. I fell asleep for a while then at nite we played pool with his little bro and Frank. heh Sat isn't very detailed cuz most o f what I did involves Plan JAM so I have to keep it hush hush.....

Random Things.....

Hmmm I had a long thinking time about Plan JAM. This is probably the first time overthinking was actually a good thing. Pretty much I just thought about what it really meant to me, and why it is so important to me. The whole thinking process was due to my friends asking why I was going thru all the trouble of doing everything (Once Plan JAM is revealed I'll write about all the hardships).....anyways the thinking time also helped me come up with my writing voice (that shouldn't make sense right now but once again I'll explain later).....

Sorry another tidbit about plan JAM (I'm sorry I'm just excited that i'm seeing everything come together with the exceptions of 2 modifications to the plans)......one was a good change the other I was really trying to execute but it was impossible but if it ever comes thru I'll grab it.

I had this weird dream that I was in Las Vegas with my sisters and our hotel room was haunted. It was real scary at first but it turned out the ghost was Elvis...anyways this led to Elvis and me doing a duet to Fools Fall in Love

Blogger the Virus

Song Of The Day - Voices Of Theory - Say It
Currently Feeling - excited

Well yesterday I didn't do much. I dropped off my lil sis at the movies then I helped Marianne with finding her camera. I did some shopping with my mom then I ate dinner. Adam called up so I hung out at his house for a while before we decided to go shoot pool. We picked up Frank and went to the break but it was packed. We went back to Frank's house to look up any other pool halls but we decided on bowling.....we stopped at Carl's Jr then went bowling.......Frank and me really suck at bowling and Adam he's really good......so I doubt we'll go bowling any time soon.... The plans for today is gonna probably be pool........

Random Things......

Fri I'm gonna hang out with Steph before work cuz I need to do some stuff.....heh I can't say though....

I forgot to mention it but I got Steph to write a blog although she chose to keep it to herself........

Blog is a big virus, I remember I started cuz I saw my couz do it and it looked cool......Then I got Tara, Tawni, Amber, and Steph to start one......

When I got home I felt like watching a romantic comedy for one reason or another so I decided to watch Fools Rush In ( I'm waiting on watching 2 Weeks Notice). Anyways pretty good movie, I didn't even know I had it til last nite. I slept in my lil sis bed cuz it's really comfy, but I slept to Slow Jamz 4, and of course that caused me to think although not bad....anyways I had a weird dream that was pretty bad but good thing that was all it was....

John Mellencamp Invasion

Song Of The Day - John Mellencamp - Jack and Diane
Currently Feeling - Good

Hmmm...... so yesterday when I was with Jason he was trying to find my new blog, the closest he got was my archives. He looked thru the archives to see if he could find any clues to the new address. I wasn't really paying attention when I saw John Mellencamp....it kinda caught my eye among the endless amount of words I typed. Then later on that nite when I was trying to get some sleep I had the radio on Easy listening when I heard the john mellencamp song again...... Of course I didn't go right to sleep so I turned back on the TV and low and behold it was john mellencamp playing on VH1....lol I found it pretty weird....

Anyways my nite was pretty basic. I went back over to Jason's house. Steph was gonna come over so we decided to watch a movie. Jason couldn't leave the house and I figured he may want some alone time with Steph so I went to blockbuster to get old school and then I picked up Frank and Adam.......lol pretty basic I didn't find any thing too interesting with the unrated version although Adam came up once again with his weird comments.......As for today all I have done is drop by Adam's to give him his movie....I don't know what I have planned for today if anything......

Random Things....

I've been on a budget for a little bit cuz I have stuff to do with the money.....

I'm planning on volunteering at Thunderbird or at a medical lab in Tempe.....

Hmm I have to think of something to do for the 4th of July weekend...right now I don't think anyone has a clue about what they are up to...

That's why the address is Overthinker

Currently Feeling - Good

Well as the title says I am quite the overthinker. It's a habit that at times can be good but majority is bad. I do overthink certain things people say (ex. my friends). Ok I'm finding this really hard to explain without telling you what was wrong with me so I'll just say it since I already feel much better about it. Last weekend I was really excited about Tawni visiting. Yeah I know it has only been a week but it has seemed like a long time but I really missed her. Anyways I subconsciously kept hyping it up with Frank and Adam. So Fri came and I really didn't know what time she got back and I figured Paul had planed something with her and I understand priorities. Sat I couldn't go to Northstar cuz of the lack of money I had but i tried to get a hold of her to no avail. On Sun I tried to reach her to no effect and I was quite bummed about it. My friends, seeing how I was excited about her return, asked me if I got to see her or talk to her and when I said no, they asked why to which I truly did not have an answer. So that only made things worse. But I dunno, I don't think it should be something that I should have gotten upset about but it's something that I knew I couldn't help. But I talked to Tawni today and yeah, she set me straight although she had to be tough on me to make sure that it was implanted in my head. So yeah I think I'm good to go although I know myself and I'm sure Tawni knows it too, that I'm more than likely gonna fall under the spell of overthinking again. And if you look into the archive I have fallen under overthinking numerous times.........

Well I also hung out with Jason most of the day. I can't say much since I'm supposed to keep it to myself but he needed a big heart to heart, and yup he had a lot to say.....
He has to stay at home til his parents come back cuz his little bro's friends over so he's kinda gotta babysit. We stayed at his house while he tried to guess the blog. He got exceptionally close when he came up with deepthinker. I also found out that you can find out my blog and Tawni's blog pretty much by typing in the same keywords.... Anywho we went to burger king and we talked somemore but I had to leave to watch the patients. I don't know the plan for tonite but i'll probably go and rent Old School.

Random Things....

Lol, Tawni u were right, I'm starting to analyze what you said...I can't help it......

I really hope not but I have a feeling that troubled times may soon loom over paradise.....

I had a dream last nite that "the darkness" called.........

Hmmmm.....so far I have a lot to work on this summer, from working on being more assertive, stop overthinking, and finishing Plan JAM.....

Plan JAM......haven't talked about that in a little bit, I've set a date for it although it could be changed plenty o times....probably somewhere between June 22-28....don't hold me to my word on it though....

The 48 Hour Upset Bug

Song Of The Day - The Ataris - All You Can Ever Learn
Currently Feeling - Fine

Well I'm feeling better after the weekend. It was just something I was just a bit dissapointed about but once again I'm better. It was probably something that was caused by overthinking but what's new huh??? Anyways last nite my sis came back and we talked bout her trip to Budapest. After a while we went to Hollywood video and I bought 2 Weeks Notice which will add to my collection of Serendipity, Beauty and the Beast, and my sis owns Sweet Home Alabama.......Afterwards I played video games for a bit then went to sleep....

Today, I talked to Jason. He was worried about Steph so I talked to him about it for a while. I also talked to him a little about what was so upsetting although I made it so that it seemed like it didn't bug me.....Then I went and ate lunch with my sis'. The food was alright although next time I should stick to what I like and not try something new. We then went to Best Buy to look for Orange County but we decided not to buy it. I then went home and helped my couz get a virus out of his computer. It took a while but I think we got it cleaned....

Well the plan for today is probably to go and shoot pool although sooner or later were gonna add a few more stuff to our things to do during the summer list...that would include laser tag (heh laser tag with Adam and Frank, that should be fun), minature golf, and bowling.....

Random Things.....

Hmmm....well I decided to keep my reason for being upset to myself cuz I don't think it's really important as to why it bothered me. I can't believe that I got upset about it, but if you really want to know then read my blog from I think Saturday and read between the lines....

hmm...well Bishop Thomas O' Brien got arrested due to hit and run charges....this isn't good for the catholic community (i should know, I'm one of them).....I just don't think that his actions and the actions of the priests who molested little children should represent my religion...... I know a lot of people in the community and just like everyone else. They aren't perfect but they are nice people.......I just think that the bad in the catholic community doesn't outweigh the good.....

Not Really In The Mood

Currently Feeling - Upset

Well I'm probably in more of a bad mood than yesterday and I'm still not in the mood to talk about. It's father's day so Happy Father's Day Dad. Umm... Jason came back today and I talked to him for a little bit.....other than that I haven't done anything

A Bit Upset Over Myself

Song Of The Day - Babyface - When Can I See You Again
Currently Feeling - Upset

Well not too much to do today. I was quite upset over myself actually but I’m not really gonna get into it. Well all I really did today was go to Cousins. I wanted to talk to Steph and Emily but they were really busy so I didn’t stay long. I went back home and took a 5 hr nap. I woke up and took Barbie to her friends house then I went to Adam’s to pick up my memory card. I gained him some money but after about 10 minutes I realized that he passed out on the couch. His family left to go see a movie so I was all by myself with Adam out cold. I watched some TV and went on the computer. Around 10:30 I left to go to my thinking spot because one I needed to do some thinking but mainly just to get some quiet time to myself. I stayed til about 11:15 then I went and picked up my sister. Now I’m home…..

I don’t know what I’m gonna do for Father’s day tomorrow…..

Random Things….

I really don’t wanna say why I’m upset over myself but I am…….

The Northstar concert was tonite…the only people I knew who went so far is Tawni, Paul, Emily, and Steph……

Yeah I e-mail Mr. Ashby today…….(for those who don’t really know who he is, he was my Bio teach and was also one of the teachers for Robotics last year) anyways I asked him about what was bugging me for who knows what reason but I needed someone to turn to and I had no other options….

My New Best Friend....I Mean Temporary Best Friend

Currently Feeling - Good

Well today was actually quite a good day. I picked up Frank then went to Adam's house for the BBQ. We made our food then we watched Disney's The Kid.....hmmmm I really enjoyed the movie, I dunno kinda makes you think about everything you wanted to be when you grow up and how that goal has changed.....It was a good movie although at first I was real reluctant to watch it.....also the girl in the movie is really cute.....After that I dropped off Frank so that he could go to work then I drove by Cousins but decided not to cuz I wasn't sure if Paul was working and I didn't want another awkward thingy again.......but that won't prevent me from comin to Cousins cuz Frank said that whenever I need him to go to Cousins just call......kinda pathetic that I need Frank to come with but yup I'm a pathetic person......Anywho I went home, took a shower, then went back to Adam's house and hung out there for a while....The plan was for Frank to call when he got off work and we would go see Hollywood Homicide since Adam had work tomorrow morning. Steph called and didn't have anything to do, and I needed to talk to her and she needed to talk so I invited her along....I picked her up but Frank was running late so we went to Deer Valley 30. Yeah I got some things that I needed to say out and I must say that Steph does give pretty good advice and makes me see the logic in it too.....We also talked about some of her problems........ So we arrived but we decided to watch the Italian Job....pretty good movie....really better than I expected....lol..."The Napster"......lol priceless.......After that I dropped Steph off. I gave her Tawni's card since they will be going to the Northstar concert and i'm pretty sure I'm not gonna come so yeah....Yeah I would have preffered to hand it myself but I already said majority of what's on the card in an e-mail......

Anywho my plans for tomorrow is looking very faint...so far the only thing I have planned is going to Cousins....

Random Things....

Yeah I talked to Steph bout Plan JAM and she's gonna start helping out.....1/4 is done.........the other 1/4 I'm pretty sure I'll get done.......another 1/4 Steph is helping me out big........then there is the other 1/4.....hmmm to me the most important aspect of JAM, actually completing that part isn't what's important to me, but rather the meaning of that part is what I'm aspiring for.

Oh yeah I've discovered a very big weakness is me yesterday....I was at the Dentist and this girl walks in...pretty cute but nothing that would catch my eye...she walks past me and her perfume.....o my gosh, I was hooked.....I don't know what perfume it is but whenever I smell it I get all zombie like.......

---Note to Tawni----
Sorry but it's looking pretty doubtful that I'm gonna be able to go to Northstar...No funds and no ride, and I haven't even asked my parents yet.......It's looking doubtful that I will see you this weekend (which sux). so I'll just say I really miss you and Steph is doing a really good job keepin your spot warm....heh.....Well I'm looking really forward from hearing from ya
---End Note---

Needing A Change

Currently Feeling - Decent

Well I actually have something to write about since it's been on my mind for the past few days and I have neglected to write about it on my blog. First thing is why my blog has been so short over the past week. Well since I've changed my blog, I know that I have had no unwanted visitors but I still have a sense of uneasyness about updating to my best abillities. The fact of the matter is I don't like letting people see a certain side of me if I'm not sure it isn't gonna be used against me in the future. I'm back to being normal with my friends so that part is going back to normal.... Now the next little problem has something to do with Plan JAM......so this is mainly directed to Steph, I don't think I have to say much for you to realize what the problem was. I would say more but a certain someone can't hear this so I may need a heart to heart.......... I just wanna shoot myself in the head because of the way it has blown up in my face......... You know, there is certain traits I have that I wish could dissapear and there is certain traits I wish I could have....every year I think I've grown as a person but I know that it'll never change the fact that I'm a very passive person in every aspect of my personality..... I think that something that I think I need to change in me, maybe something I have to force upon myself to become a more aggressive person....I just think the person I am is just too nice, and the thing I have learned all throughout this year is nice only takes you so far....... I'm not talking a certain part of me has to become more aggressive, but just me as a whole........so yeah those 3 are what's been on my mind although when writing it, I'm still feeling very conscious about what I put here, there's still a lot I held back but it's an improvement...... but those have kinda been eating away since Tawni hasn't been around for me to talk to...heh


Ok so anyways as for yesterday I didn't do much again.....I went to Cousins but I stayed for 10 minutes at most and I didn't get a chance to discuss some things with Steph......Then I went to Sportsmart with Adam to look for a dart board, a pool stick, and tents.... I owed Adam a dollar since the Spurs lost so we picked up Frank and went to Sonics for a shake. Afterwards we decided to go to blockbuster to rent a movie and game....we tried to rent Old School but his mom but a restriction on his account so we just went to my house and we watched Tears of the Sun.....Decent movie at best, nothing extrodinary..... As for today I have a dentist appointment I think, after that I have no clue as to what I'm gonna do later.....

Too Much Perfume

Currently Feeling - Good

So yesterday nothing special, just like the days before. I went to the library to hang out with Adam for a little bit, then we went to his house to play madden.....He went to work while my dad called and wanted me to stay home and do some things so all I did was play video games.....I talked to Tawni for a little bit again but we mainly just talked about my friends, I just had some stuff to get off my chest that I don't feel comfortable saying in here yet. Adam called when he got off work, he wanted to go shoot pool so he got his Cousin to come in and be the 4th player. We waited til Frank got home, then we were off to the pool hall. We started out real good, but just like normal towards the end we all crapped out at the same time....oh well there was this lady who was coming in to shoot pool, I thought I was gonna throw up cuz she was wearing so much damn perfume...the worst part about it was that the smell was lingering.......it was really nasty........

Random Things...

Yet again, I don't have anything to do...no wait I do, COUSINS SUBS........Time to go visit Steph and Emily........

My life this summer has turned into the same routine....madden, Wild Arms, pool, ping pong........I have to fit Cousins back into the rotation

Rich called last nite and wanted to hang out, now like Ian we were best friends but yeah, we really aren't into the same thing, I was still a little angry about the prank call, and he lives too damn far away for me to drive to his house.....

Amber called and I realize that I may not have gotten my college credit in College Algebra.....hmmmm that's fuckin bullshit, if they don't give me my credit then give me my money back.....yeah that's right all five dollars of it....

Feeling Like I'm 14 Again

Currently Feeling - Good

Well I've been playing my game for most of the day yesterday....heh that's something I haven't done for almost 2 years....... Sure I feel like a recluse but I really don't have much else to do..... Jason has gone to NAU til Sun, Frank has started his devry, Adam has work.....and I don't really wanna call other people........ Anyways last nite all i really did was go to Adam's house and play him in Madden. Today I'm gonna go to the library so that Adam can give me the prizes and then I'll probably go to Cousins to go visit Steph, then I'll go work on 2/4 of Plan JAM.....I don't know if I said this already but I have 1/4 done..........

Random Things....

This is really pathetic....my life has become so boring all of a sudden....

Adam makes the funniest jokes sometimes on Frank.......

Updating

Currently Feeling - Good

Well these last few days have been a bit weird. They don't feel quite the same for one reason or another. Anywho I haven't updated in a bit due to the mess I made when I switched addresses. I had a choice of deleting my blog completely but I would lose all my archives or I could create a new blog but people could still find my archives using my old address. Well I decided there is just too much stuff I want to keep in my archives that I didn't want to delete it. Anyways I learned a couple things.....One Tawni was right about my friends knowing. As soon as I changed it, I heard some comments about it, I rather not hear.

Anyways here what's been up the past couple days....

Sat we watched 2 Fast 2 Furious.....I thought it was a pretty good movie...sure no story but really, who went to watched 2F&F for the story......

Sun - I went with Adam to gamestop...I decided to buy Wild Arms 3 (I need to start playing video games cuz I'm gonna have nothing to do for a while)....but I had no money.....I went to church and saw Amber for the first time this summer.....then I went to go shoot pool with Jason, Steph, Adam, and Frank.....That's where all the blog shit occured.....oh yeah also so that Adam could spite me...he made a blog.....2 bad I guessed it in my first try....he made another one which I haven't found but if you wanna see his first one then go to www.adamthekorean.blogspot.com.......Anyways from what they said most, they kinda criticized and made fun of the fact that my blog gets kinda emotional, sappy, etc......well shit those are my feelings so I write what I feel whether they are mean, sappy, whatever........I got a call from Tawni....I was really happy...she seems really busy but she's gonna be visiting this weekend......

Mon - I bought Wild Arms and I played that most of the day.....

Random things......

I feel a bit rusty from not writing in my blog for a couple days...2morrow I should be back to my normal writing....

As you can tell I vented some of my anger out....i'm really just dissapointed in my friends right now

Plan JAM has taken a major tumble.....I've been focusing on one part of it so much that I didn't realize that all the other parts are really hard too.....

The Big Move

Song Of The Day - JD.- Money Ain't A Thang
Currently Feeling - Ok

Well it had to happen sooner or later. I changed the url to my blog. It's overthinker.blogspot.com....lol fits me don't it. Anyways I did it cuz too many people found out about it. Yeah they gave me some shit today which I'll say later. But yesterday, I decided to go to Zia's so I called up Jason to see if he wanted to come. I didn't find what I was looking for so after that we went to Walgreens so that Jason could apply for a job. After that we went to his house so we could hang out for a while. We downloaded abunch of old songs and some french songs....yeah we found the french Britney Spears called Lorie.....check out her website she's pretty hot...... We went to Cousins so that I could give Steph my card I bought for her and then I gave Steph Tawni's card because I didn't think I could get a hold of her. After that I went with him family to eat at Applebees......the wait was an hour so I was trying to get a hold of Tawni to say goodbye but I couldn't reach her..... We went back and chilled at Jason's house again. Steph came over cuz she was not feeling so well....she forgot to give Tawni's card so I felt a bit dissapointed.....Then I kinda got really sad...so I decided to leave and go to my thinking spot. I hung out there for 30 minutes then I was on my way home when Tawni called. I went to her house, and got my chance to say goodbye. It was really weird cuz Paul, Michael, and me were all in the same house. I talked to Michael but the whole time I felt like hitting him, but I remained quiet and nodded every once and a while. As for Paul and me, momentum was on my side where I said 4 lines according to Tawni before I suddenly stopped. Oh well something is better than nothing. The important part is that I felt like hitting Michael when I saw him and not Paul. Actually I was quite under control when I saw Paul...no sudden mood changes....I stayed for about 30 -45 minutes but Tawni had to pack and I didn't want to hold her up so we said our goodbyes......sorry this isn't very detailed, but I have a couple reasons for all of it......

Today I went with Adam to go and eat at Wendy's.....we saw Leah and Lesly so we said what's up and all......afterwards we picked up Frank and we went to the barber's. Frank threw a soda out the window and it turns out that the person behind us was also going to the barber...lol Frank.....After that we went and shot pool with Jason. They gave me a lot of shit for telling them I didn't want them to read it. They said that Tawni was the reason for me having the change of heart......Then we went to Frank's house and hung out there. The plans for tonite is that we gonna watch 2 Fast 2 Furious....

Random Things....

Sorry it's not very detailed, I'm scrapped for time and also cuz a lot of stuff is even too personal for even my blog.....

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Goodbye Tawni Ahuero

Song Of The Day - Finch - Letters To You
Currently Feeling - Sad

Well I just got home from Tawni's house. I got a chance to say goodbye........hmm that's it for now cuz I'm really sad so I'll write you tomorrow

---Note To Tawni---

Tawni check your mail if you haven't already

--- End Note---

Moving Away In More Than One Way

Song Of The Day - New Found Glory - Hit Or Miss or Simple Plan - I Miss You
Currently Feeling - Good

Well yesterday was deffinately weird. I went to Cousins but was completely out of it. I talked to Tawni outside but I was reluctant to give away everything I was thinking of cuz I was pretty scared. The whole trip back to Las Vegas makes you think too much, and I started worrying about things that werent there. I'm glad you made me realize that Tawni. Well after Cousins I went to Walgreens...oh yeah by the way I got my pictures back. There pretty cool, yeah my dad and my couz said something about Tawni but I couldn't understand what they were saying...although I have suspicions.... after that I watched About Smidt (the one with Jack Nickelson, sorry can't spell today) I then went with Adam to his friends house for a bit, picked up Final Fantasy X. I talked to Jason for a little bit, then I talked to Tawni again. We got majority of the things cleared up which made me feel a lot better. Then I did something that made me get kinda teary eyed.....

Random Things....

The title for today has two meanings....one is that Tawni is leaving tomorrow....it probably hit me the most last nite after the talk that made me do something that made me teary.....So I guess one more time I'm really gonna miss you Tawni, have fun in NAU but don't forget me in the 6 weeks...ok.....

Now the other meaning of my title is that I'm moving the blog due to people finding my blog....people I'm not sure I want them to read my blog yet..........So I'll be informing when I change it, Tawni, Tiano, Marianne, Steph, Barbie, Tara, yeah I think that's it.......

Tawni Ahuero and Lauren Moosero

Song Of The Day - The Starting Line - Make Yourself At Home
Currently Feeling - Good

hmmm well last nite all I really did was watch Die Another Day. Pretty good movie....anywho I tried to get some sleep but I couldn't so I got a chance to think about something I have been thinking alot about. I can't say anything cuz it's part of Plan JAM. Anywho this morning I went over to Tawni's house for a while. She was gonna watch Bruce almighty with Moose. I felt a little bad. I got to use up the rest of the film. I was planning on using the last shot on Moose and Tawni but when I was leaving her room, I accidently press the button.....it sucked, Tawni had a big ole laugh out of it. Afterwards I went to get my film developed at Walgreens, I'm starting to become more like Tawni cuz I started reading thru the cards cuz I got a buy 2 get 1 free which coincidentally works in my favor. Then I went to the Library where Adam was volunteering. I'm gonna get some free stuff from him. hmmm I don't know what I'm gonna do 2day. I'm probably gonna go to Cousins. Jason's plan arrives at 7:45 from Wash. I don't have any plans for 2nite as it stands.

Random Things....

lol yeah Tawni gave me something to color for her. Yup it's my best coloring paper ever.....

Bruised Pride and the Long Highway Of Thought

Song Of The Day - Cyndi Thompson - So Complicated
Currently Feeling - Ehhhh.....

Well I got back from Las Vegas late last nite. So I'll recap what has happened over the last few days.

Sun

I got ready for my confirmation. It was pretty cool. Yeah this girl in my confirmation class is pretty cute. Her name is Mimi, yeah I think she saw me looking at her, I was pretty embarrased, I think she kept looking time to time to see if I was looking at her. Afterwards I went to the mall to get my sis her build a bear. It was pretty embarrasing cuz they made me do a bunch of weird things. Then they started laughing at me. The lady behind me could have moved to the next line but said "no it's alright, I'll wait, he's entertaining me".....It was pretty sad.....especially dancing with the bear.....afterwards I payed a visit to Tawni before I left then went home. The trip was 4 hrs long. I learned something, my aunt is annoying when she's criticizing my music. I was irritated but oh well. When we got there I was real tired so I opted to stay in the hotel while they went out to eat. I guess they went to a really nice restaurant that was $40 per plate. Oh well i stayed in and watched this show on Showtime called "out of order".....weird but pretty good, if I had showtime I would start watching it but I don't so oh well....

Mon
Hmmm....well Baitos and me went around the strip. The first place was the M&M and Coke Store. It was pretty cool. I really like the coca cola polar bear. I was about to buy this stuff polar bear but it was pretty expensive so I decided to just buy a large one when I get back. The M&M store was cool too. We saw the 3d movie, I lost my M in Vegas. We then walked to the MGM Grand and we played a little arcade games then we went inside the Studio 54 store. I ate at the fast food chinese place to regain some energy then we went to New York, New York. We were about to ride the ride but it was $12 per person. What a rip off.....Not too much to do there so we went to Excaliber.....lol that place is fun.........The Knights from Down under...lol......I had Barbie pose next to it with a big grin....oh yeah the knights from Down Under is some male exotic show.....We played those skills games and I lost all of them....I had a bruised ego but trust me it gets worse......We went back and we ate with my family and my aunt's friends at the Bellagio.......Very expensive....but pretty good food....afterwards I bought a disposable camera and we were off to Excaliber to get my pride back....Along the way I took some pics.....Finally at the excaliber I bought a bucket of rings that contained 72 rings. The object of the game was to throw the ring on the bottle. lol well I missed all of them plus 24 more rings.......We then went to the Luxor where we played more arcade games...side note I remember I used to be good at video games, so why do I blow balls at them now.....We watched the IMAX 3d haunted castle which sucked....we then went home and I passed out......

Tues
hmmm well I slept in til 1 and we passed checkout time so we had to stay longer. My sis and I had some pizza and then we got packed and left. We decided to take the scenic route and since it was nighttime all you could see was the road ahead of you. Plenty of thinking (talk bout it later). I got home round 11:30. Talked to Tawni for a little then passed out. I had a dream that we were still in Las Vegas and all of a sudden a meteor strike occured. Then I had another dream where I was hanging out with Tawni then all out of the blue Paul comes out of nowhere and her and Paul both shoot me. It was pretty freaky. Then I had a dream that I was with Mike, Cam, Jason, Paul, Tawni, Emily, Steph, and Chelsey. Yeah and I remember that we were all in the room, and then I think it was Mike who said "oh look we all have someone" and then Cam says "except James". Then they both say "oh well and they all just kinda start making out. My dreams really sucked but I guess that's all due to my over thinking. I just got back from Adam's house, we had a BBQ for my return. Don't really know what I'm gonna do today......

Random Things....

Hmmm......well I had a real lot to think about. I don't really know how to put all of it into words. I'm not even sure what I want to put down and what not to. Most of it kinda sad and kinda depressing but not all of it. Yeah I've been holding back a lot lately but it's all for a reason. But I guarantee that once I explain it all it'll seem a lot more clearer and essencially all apart of my master plan.....

yeah it also hit me that yeah Tawni is leaving in 4 more days......yeah I know that I'll probably keep in touch thru fone and e-mail, but alas it's not quite the same. Steph and me may not be best friends for 6 weeks either cuz i found out that Paul's taking over Tawni's position while she's gone. So I guess that means less time at Cousins maybe.......

Plan JAM is still in a little peril. I had a lot of thinking time for it, and I think I can still do all of it. Yeah I underestimated it's degree of dificulty but the thinking time made me realize the importance of all of it. And whether or not it works like I planned, it should still work.

Yeah there are certain things that scare me. Actually a lot of things scare me. The future, friendships, everything. There are a lot of what if's, no matter how much you try to ignore it, there are always some that'll affect you.

Priorities are also something that I needed a reminder on. There are different sets of priorities that needed to be thought out.

Those were some of my thoughts that I had overthunk. sorry that none of them are too detailed but for one reason or another I chose to leave detail out of them.

Las Vegas: Fun, Fun, Fun....(Note: There is a hint of sarcasm)

Song Of The Day - Shedaisy - Still Holding Out
Currently Feeling - OK

Well last nite I went to the benefit concert with Adam and his family. It wasn't very good but I guess it was for a good cause. The children of Kenya and it was legit not some scam. It was in Scottsdale and right next to the very interesting Borgata. Afterwards we ate at this little pizza place called Chi-Pizza I think. It's really good.....We were thinking about doing stuff, but by the time we came back home it was 10:45 so I went to pick up my sis at her friends house. It was all the way past sun city....

Today I'm going to get confirmed, and then I guess I gots to pack and all that fun stuff, then it's a 4 hr drive to LV....I think my phone should have a connection for the first 3 hrs and I'll be bored so hit me up y'all.....

Random Things......

hmmm.....a little reminder, I'll be gone so if something I say on the side sounds fishy, don't believe them......So remember I don't hate anyone, but some are close