Cheesecakes, hot dogs, and long talks in the mountains

Song Of The Day - Trisha Yearwood - How Do I Live Without You
Currently Feeling - Pretty Good (Not At First Though)

Damn I really love this song, heard it while I was trying to sleep, just a really nice song...(damn Tawni, starting to get me into country)....anyways yesterday and today was a busy day. I had a really great time, but at first it did suck. I'll start off yesterday morning, we were all planning on going to the Cheesecake factory and Jason came over since I was gonna drive. Jason told me I should invite someone to go also so I called Christie but she had to run errands so I invited Amber. We went to her house and waited forever for her to take her shower. We then picked up Steph and then Tawni and Paul. We listened to the oldies cd that Steph made. The cheesecake factory was in Scottsdale so it's a pretty long drive. We all started talking but then Amber said "it's sad cuz James is going to be the only person without a girlfriend". I didn't really think about it til then but then I had this big sinking feeling. So I did what I do when I'm in an uncomfortable enviroment, I shelled up. I barely talked in the cheesecake factory and yeah it was pretty noticable. We had to wait in line for a while so I pulled Jason aside and told him I was having second thoughts about going on the camping trip not only cuz of Paul and Tawni but mainly cuz I would be the only one without a girlfriend. I didn't get to talk long cuz they came into the room. The cheesecake factory was pretty good but really expensive. My sandwich kinda sucked, i didn't really know what it was. The cheesecake was really good, but really rich. On the way home I was trying to do my little decision making thing but Tawni caught me and I tried to teach Amber how to do it,. After that I dropped off Paul at Tawni's house and then Amber at her house. I was then planning on dropping off Steph and Tawni so they could go shopping, and that would give me time to tell Jason that there was no way I was gonna go. But alas I don't give Jason enough and right before I dropped the girls off, Jason said that I was gonna go just loud enough so Tawni could hear....lol he did it knowing that she would have forced me to go. (My original plan was I was gonna drop off everyone then call and say my parents wouldn't let me). Tawni asked me what was wrong but I replied with my usual "nothing" knowing fully well that sooner or later she was gonna jar it outta me. So we drop by my house, get my stuff, drop off my sis at the mall and then go to Jasons. I pass out on the couch for a bit, then we gather all the stuff and we head to Tawni's house. We fill it up completely and were off. We find a nice spot on Lake Pleasent and we set up camp. Jason takes a piss by the trees and we take a pic of him just as he looks over. It's hilarious. Now the whole time I'm still pretty much out of it. So we set up camp when Frank calls. We all try to convince him to go so I won't think that I'm the 3rd or even 5th wheel. Frank comes and I get a little better but still feel pretty bad. I gather a bunch of firewood. (those branches are really bitches to break but they do let me vent some frustrations by breaking them. Anyways by the time Jason starts cooking, I decide to head up to the mountains for a little walking and thinking time. I find this real nice area in the middle of the mountain that gave me a great view of the stars and also of the campfire. To my surprise I see Frank come up, he takes a piss, then sits down next to me. He talks to me about what to do about Kelli, and I just tell him that he should go for it and that more than likely she likes you. We talk about what I had to think about, and we just talk about life and girls for a bit. That's the first time I've talked to Frank about stuff like that but it was a good convo. Frank heads down and that gives me some more time to think. He made me feel a bit better. Then I see the next person to come up which is Tawni. I warn her about the cacti but she was worried about the snakes. Tawni asked me what was wrong and at first I tried to circle around the question but she finally got it out of me. Now the reason I was acting all quiet was that I didn't want to be the 5th wheel and even with Frank there it was awkward. and it didn't help the fact that the person I like is there with her boyfriend. but we just talked about it and then I listened to her problems. She has family issues and i know that it bugs her, but unfortunately it's something I can't help with. I did tell her that if that guy ever hit her I would fuck him up. I also made she that she knew that I would never try to interfere with her and Paul cuz she's happy right now. I'm worried about my subconcious however, I mean I would never purposely do that, she knows it and I know it, but it's one of those things that you don't even realize your doing it sometimes. That's why I've made a promise to myself that I would not give advice to her about Paul unless she really wanted my advice cuz I don't want to give her bad advice then it would make it look like I did it on purpose. I decided to go back down with her, we talked about if I would have stayed longer, Jason would have come up, then maybe Steph, and then we would have laughed our asses off if Paul would have come up to talk about life. I was right, Jason said he was about to go up next. I ate a hot dog and a smore (those are real good, haven't had one in a long time). I saw the sick pictures of Bun Bun and Capt. Mallow. We then just messed around the fire then when it died off, they went into the big tent but I felt a bit tired so I stayed in mine (by the way, I was singing the john mellencamp song although I didn't do it loud enough so that everyone could hear). It was hard sleeping with all the outside noise, and someone snoring. It got real cold in the morning, but I was persistant in wanting to see the sunrise so I woke up at 5, and walked til I found a big mountain for me to watch the sunrise over the lake. It was real nice but maybe not worth it. I fell back asleep but woke up when everyone else woke up at 9. We chilled for a bit, I took a walk around the lake with Tawni looking for something neat and she gave me a dead cactus arm. Afterwards, I took another walk but this time close to the lake. Jason came with and we found this big rock to sit in and talk. We talked about how I was feeling first and I told him that I was cool after the walk to the mountain. We then talked about him and Steph. There seems to be some concern with him. I mean one the reason why Ashley broke up with him was because they did the same ole stuff everytime so Jason's worried about that. Also Jason wants a relationship and he thinks that maybe they were going a bit fast. He doesn't want to base their relationship just on kissing but he justs wants it to cool down a little. We talked about sex, I told him that I wouldn't have sex unless it was with someone I love, and if that meant waiting til we were married then so be it. Jason came up with a similar rational. We had to run back because they took off somewhere. We jumped in the back and we dropped off the girls and Paul over by the other side of the lake. we put out the fire and then joined them. There were a bunch of ducks it was cool. They got a tan then we all went back to pack up. I decided to ride back with Frank so that he wouldn't go back by himself. We said our good bye's and we were off. It only took 5 minutes before Frank got pulled over for not stopping at a stop sign. He was so fuckin lucky though cuz the cop said that he always give the first person he catches with a warning and Frank was the first person. He dropped me off at my house so that I could take a shower and then I would go with him to the mall to look for some new glasses for him (while he was in Cali, he spit out the window out in the highway and his glasses fell off. The store was no longer there so he dropped me off at my house and that's it. My plans for today is just to sleep and then go over to Adams when he gets off work.

Random Things.....

I have to say it one more time, I really do love that song....damn Tawni and Steph and their country

I felt like a waste earlier when I was all quiet cuz I could of had more time to have fun, but at least I got some issues out of the way. I know i have more but I knocked off the ones that have been bugging me.

---Note To Tawni----
Thanx for the talk in the mountains. It really meant a lot cuz I was really down. I did mean everything I said which I think you already know. I'm the one people talk when they have trouble yet I find it hard to find someone to talk to when I have my problems. So I'm glad that I'm able to talk to you about anything or else I would have more than likely would have exploded. Anyways thanx a lot and just to let you know I really do love you as a friend. PS. Oh yeah and thanx for the momento and if I forgot to mention anything remind me so I can put it in
---end Note---