Needed The Time To Think

Needed The Time To Think

Song Of The Day - Michelle Branch - Breathe
Currently Feeling - I Don't Know

I haven't written in a couple days because I felt I needed to take a step back and think things over. I really wished it would have come up before my trip to NAU rather than after cuz I could of used the time on the road to think it over, but unfortunately it didn't reoccur to me til a day after. Something said bugged me a couple days ago, something I knew was gonna happened but it still bugged the hell out of me. I have been thinking a lot about it along with other stuff this weekend and the fact that stuff like this is still getting to me is the reason why I have to think about going with Plan R. No one knows about Plan R but it was something someone said a while ago to me that I didn't even consider it for a second. I also know it was something that I don't think I could of done back then and I don't know if I could allow myself to do it now. But it's something that I have to think about if it doesn't improve. I had a lot of time to think about it, and I just couldn't imagine it happening. So instead I tried to think of alternate ideas to solve my problem and I'm gonna try those. I'm sorry I'm being very vague about everything but it's something I haven't really talked to anyone about, and I don't want to tell anyone what Plan R is.

Sorry about the last paragraph but it's been kinda building up from the weekend, and I needed to get a little steam outta me. I'll try to recap the last few days as best as possible.

Sat
I woke up early cuz the library called, and I won the weekly drawing for free movie tickets...lol I was excited cuz it has been a while since I won something. I called Adam and we went to the library to get my gift. We then went to Mickie D's cuz he wanted to redeem his coupon. I talked to him a little about easing up on what he was looking for in a girl. He's very picky about girls, but I just kinda talked to him about how you can't expect a supermodel to come up to you and ask you for your number. We then got into a big convo about looks vs. personality, and although I can't say that looks doesn't have any factor in it, it's not nearly as big as personality. This can differ from person to person and I didn't really say any deeper cuz I know Adam is more into getting laid so I wasn't gonna waste my breath. After McD's we went to T-Mobile so that he could take a look at cell phone plans. We went back to his house and chilled there for a while. We then shot some pool and then dropped by Frank's to see if he wanted to watch Oceans 11 at my house. He was gonna go with Jason to Kim's house cuz there was a get together again. I wanted to go with them but I knew Adam didn't really want to so I decided to go later that nite. Oh yeah by the way, Jason made the excuse at sleeping at my house again. Anyways we watched the movie, then he left and I went over to Kim's at around 12. I was only expecting to hang out for a while but I ended up talking to Steph and Emily, and ended up staying a couple hours. Frank drank too much, and was throwing up. In fact I was the only sober one there. Jason got hungry so I took him to Jack in the Box where he started talking about how he got a buzz and all. It was funny, I then refereed the caps drinking game between Jason and Cam. Mike came over and I talked to him for the first time in a while. I left around 2-3 and passed out.

Sun
I went to church with Marianne, then picked up Barbie and watched Finding Nemo....it was a pretty good movie I'll admit, It was really a funny movie. Afterwards i played more video games. I beat Wild Arms but it had such a shitty ending, I went over to Frank's house cuz Jason wanted me to come over. I only stayed for a few cuz I was gonna eat dinner. After that I had a sudden urge to watch a movie, so I rented Brown Sugar, and Punch Drunk Love. I came home and I got in the reclining seat and I accidentally knocked over the ironing board breaking the measuring cup. I cleaned it up and continued watching it. I really like the movie, it was a sweet romantic comedy that seemed a bit different than the ones I usually watch.

Random Things....

Oh yeah I burned the new Michelle Branch cd and I'm planing on burning the new rufio cd. The Michelle Branch cd is pretty good. I really like the song Breathe, It has a nice chorus.

I may not show it, but majority of all my personality is based on my emotions. I'm a pretty emotional person although I don't show it to a lot of people but it affects everything I do and I how I act. I had a talk with someone about the real "you". For me, there is the "me" that I show around majority of time to people. I get along with most people but tend to be a little more quiet until I get to know you better. But then there is the real "me" which I show to close friends and family. It's the "me" that writes in the blog. I don't show the real "me" cuz it leaves you vulnerable to people. And I'm sure that that most people if not all are the same way.