Failed
Song Of The Day- Something Corporate - Fall
Currently Feeling- stupid
I only had to say the phrase "hey do you wanna hang out sometime?".........i didn't even have to be that but some different variation of it. Instead it was as I feared and when push came to shove, I choked. And now I type in my room without an answer to the question i never asked. Steph was right......there is no excuse for it except the fact that i didn't man up. I mean i don't really know her so it's not like i can lose a friendship that doesn't exist yet. If i'm worried about alienating her, she seems like a genuine nice person who if i put enough effort into would avoid me at all costs.......no what it comes down to is the fear of rejection. Like the URL of my blog, i overthought it all. I added too many variables, unnecessary and illogical variables, that probably did not even exist. It's not like I didn't know the consequence of not doing it. Winter break is only so far away and with that opportunities are becoming fewer. On top of that, I know what not doing anything was going to do to my psyche. It's eating me up that I didn't do it and if i don't do it, i'll be left with that time old question "what if". Its not as if I have much to lose, a little pride, and little bit of shame.....but it doesn't compare to if i did it and she said yes. But all of this.........it's just talk......it's meaningless without any action to back it up....
Random Things.....
-The only thing i want to touch on other than this is the question "how can I like someone a lot without actually knowing them?"........it's true i don't really know her.........but i'm basing my feelings based on the type of person i believe her to be.....sounds odd i admit but sometimes you can just get a feel of who a person is just by being around them and seeing them interact with others......but ya that is the only reason i can word, sometimes u just get that feeling......words cannot do it justice i suppose.
-PS- watching the ring2 again didn't make it better the second time around
Currently Feeling- stupid
I only had to say the phrase "hey do you wanna hang out sometime?".........i didn't even have to be that but some different variation of it. Instead it was as I feared and when push came to shove, I choked. And now I type in my room without an answer to the question i never asked. Steph was right......there is no excuse for it except the fact that i didn't man up. I mean i don't really know her so it's not like i can lose a friendship that doesn't exist yet. If i'm worried about alienating her, she seems like a genuine nice person who if i put enough effort into would avoid me at all costs.......no what it comes down to is the fear of rejection. Like the URL of my blog, i overthought it all. I added too many variables, unnecessary and illogical variables, that probably did not even exist. It's not like I didn't know the consequence of not doing it. Winter break is only so far away and with that opportunities are becoming fewer. On top of that, I know what not doing anything was going to do to my psyche. It's eating me up that I didn't do it and if i don't do it, i'll be left with that time old question "what if". Its not as if I have much to lose, a little pride, and little bit of shame.....but it doesn't compare to if i did it and she said yes. But all of this.........it's just talk......it's meaningless without any action to back it up....
Random Things.....
-The only thing i want to touch on other than this is the question "how can I like someone a lot without actually knowing them?"........it's true i don't really know her.........but i'm basing my feelings based on the type of person i believe her to be.....sounds odd i admit but sometimes you can just get a feel of who a person is just by being around them and seeing them interact with others......but ya that is the only reason i can word, sometimes u just get that feeling......words cannot do it justice i suppose.
-PS- watching the ring2 again didn't make it better the second time around
posted by James at
11/17/2005 01:08:00 AM
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