The Retreat That Did A Lot

Currently Feeling - Real Good

Ok I just got back from the trip a couple hours ago but I passed out on the bed. It was really what I needed on a bunch of levels. I didn't expect it to be fun and interesting but it really was. The best part was she gave each of us a little notebook and said that if we wanted we could use it as a journal. LOL so that's what I used it for. So I'll just copy it direct so u can see how i was feeling at the time.

Day I

Well I'm here on my trip. I honestly came here having serious doubts that I would have any fun but was I sit here on my bed on the 1st nite here, I realized that I'm having a pretty fun time. It's kinda ironic about how this trip came around when it did. I felt as though I lost connection with myself and I wasn't enjoying hanging out with my friends as much as I used to. They said when we first arrived that this retreat is to fined yourself and to let down your guard. Those are the two things that Ihave been lacking. So as the nite concludes I pray that I can regain what I lost so that when I come back from this retreat, I can return to being my "teddy" self. Heh yeah I've gotten used to that nickname bestowed to me by Tawni. Yeah it does kinda describe me as she hasn't been the first person to describe me as a teddy bear. I feel bad towards how I've been acting to her. I've been quiet towards her the most and that's probably the main reason why I want to go back to normal. I really feel out of place not being able to talk to her but lately I can't stand Paul and he's always appears to be with her so it creates a conflict. I didn't get a chance to talk to Steph before I left but I did talk to Jason. He said that he agreed about Paul always being around and he couldn't give any knowledgable advice but it was helpful talking about it though. So I think some quiet thinking time plus God's guidance will lead me to what I'm looking for. This trip has been pretty good. I'm starting to talk to more of the people I didn't used to and I'm starting to open up. That and there's cute girls.

Day II Noon
Well were on a nature walk right now. They told us to find a nice spot and write in our journals. So I chose the bench underneath the shade next to the pond. It's real tranquil outside, it's nice. Today seems even better than yesterday cuz I've gotten the chance to talk to even more people. Most of them are real cool and have gotten used to most of them. I'll probably be remembered on the trip as the one who was able to make Regina crack a smile during our game. It was funny, the object of the game was to go up to somebody and say "if you love me, will you please smile?". Their supposed to say back "I love you, but I can't give you a smile" all without smiling. So Regina was able to keep a straight face with most people so I knews I had to do something stupid, so I got on my knees in front of her and said "Regina, baby..." Everyone erupted and she bursted out laughing. So now everyone calls me "James, Baby". Also Andy and I kicked it in his room with a guitar. He is one of the best guitar players I've heard. He played eric clapton "heaven while I sung it. It's cool, we may do that 2nite at the campfire. It's been great, I've dropped my guard and I'm having a great time. I also talked to the priest. He said I was ready and I was making the right decisions in life.

Day II Nite
Well about to go to sleep. Last nite here well lets ssee what happened.... well Andy and I have been singing to both Heaven and gone. One thing I've learned is that you make sure whos listening. The whole day I was pressured to sing Gone at the campfire. I'm in the choir for church tomorrow. Should be interesting. Hmmm..... we had a seccion where if you needed to be forgiven then you bring them up, you say it, then the other person does the sign of the cross in oil. Matt comes up to me and said that he had wrong presumptions about me and he was sorry about it. I forgave him and gotta give him respect for being a man and confronting me about it.