Been A Long Time

Song Of The Day - Eric Clapton - Heaven
Currently Feeling - Really Good

Well I got off the phone with Tawni just a bit ago. We talked for a while, it was great. I talked to her about Paul and I was able to say a bunch of things that I've held back. I'm really happy that I got to talk to her for a while, it seems like forever since I was able to talk to her like normal. She put a lot of things into perspective. I'll admit my anger towards him was mainly from jealousy but I have a lot of things that are just between us. As for Paul, I don't know yet whether I've returned to normal until I can hang out around him without the anger rising. I probably won't find out til Tues since I have my AP Bio test tomorrow. To be absolutely honest, I doubt we will ever become friends, I'm not knocking Paul cuz I think he is a decent guy but there is just too much tension between us. All I know is that whether or not I can stand Paul I won't let it affect my relationship with Tawni anymore. What I didn't tell you on Fri was that it was probably the worst day for me. I took out most of my frustration on Tawni, and I really wanted to apologize to her after class but I didn't. I guess it's the intimidation factor (that may seem strange being intimidated by Paul if you've seen his picture, but don't forget I don't get intimidated by physical appearances but rather mentally). I think it's one of those things I'll have to work on. So to sum it all up Tawni and me are at least guaranteed to have a friendship for 12 years but our friendship is something that we both agreed could last a lifetime and that's something I pray for.