This is a very different post that I'll normally put up. I'll put up my post on my day after this but I have to get this out of my head. I had my opportunity, I felt scared but I knew I could do it. I was planning on telling her when I dropped her off. We talked about trust and relationships and I just had this sudden feeling that I don't want her to feel that I have misused my trust in her. She has been through alot with Ian and she still isn't sure that if things don't work out with her and Paul and the same shit happens again. I just don't want to hurt her. I don't want to complicate things between her and Paul. I don't know, I really like her, in fact I like her so much that I couldn't do it. There's just so much going thru my head right now. I just want her to be happy even if it means my misfortunes. heh I never thought I'd say something like this.

Also I'm legitimately scared that she may drop AP Bio. It's my only class with her this semester and with her hanging out with Paul alot, it's my only time I can really talk to her. Whenever I seem to call her, Paul happens to be there and then the conversation just turns weird. I guess it just scares me, I mean what if we lose touch with each other. That's scary for me, cuz she's a real good friend, someone I can talk completely honest to without having to worry about if they would think I was stupid or something. If I could sacrifice my grade for hers I would, she's gonna base her decision on how she does on this test, and this test is gonna be bitchy hard. God I never really thought about her dropping bio and it's weird I have that bio test to worry about but I honestly don't care about it right now. You will always get another test, I can get over an F, but I don't know about this........there's just so much going on, there's just so much stuff that's coming to my head that I can write but everything is coming so fast I can't type fast enough to put it all down.