Sept 11th, 2006
Song Of The Day- Outkast - Idlewild Blues
Currently Feeling- Not Sure
Wow, it's been 5 years since the 9/11 attacks. It doesn't seem that long ago......I remember waking up for school and normally i don't watch tv before going to school but that day i did and i really couldn't quite comprehend what exactly was going on that day. Now 5 years later, our country has really changed in terms of their policies and for some people, how they live their lives has drastically changed. Anyways my intention is not to go political on this, but i just wanted to say something on it. I'm not one for patriotism and although i don't agree with everything that has gone on for the past 5 years since 9/11 I do wish to pay my respects for the men and women who lost their lives either as a victim or trying to help others in the aftermath of the attack.......
now after writing that and kinda remember all of that, everything i wanted to say just seems kind of trivial but alas i'll go on with it anyways......hmmmm actually i'm quite fortunate to come across that statement because it kind of links something i wanted to say. I've just noticed that sometimes some people have problems that end up coming to me, and sometimes ya to some people it can sound really trivial and not so important, but to that person........wow i just had deja vu like i wrote that same thing some time before.....lol so maybe i won't say it again haha.......
So let me get to the lack of updates........just been either kind of busy or haven't been in the mood to write. It hasn't been a good week.....and it's not like "oh i had a bad week because this went wrong and that went wrong".......i actually wish it was that type of bad week because you know that eventually things go your way......no actually it's one of those bad weeks where i can't really single specific events out (although i actually could as well) but rather it's more of a mentality thing for me. By that i mean i'm very confidence driven........when my confidence is high, the moral is up and things for me come easier and i handle situations. However, when my confidence is low, i tend to crumble easily (figuritively speaking...). Unfortunately, my ultimate flaw that i see in myself constantly is my frail confidence. I don't always portray that image to people but certain things can trigger doubt and negativity towards myself. And I'm not just talking in one specific areas, i mean as a whole. If you wanna look academically, I sometimes aim low so that i don't get dissapointed if i get something low. That shows a contradiction to my personality, because although i may set my bar there, i know that i could do better. Or you could look at academics in another light, i've never taken failure well, so when faced with situations i'm not sure i can face, i decide to not face it. This mentality does not stop merely at the academic level but also trickles down to every facet of my personality. This mentality issue sort of hit a peak during the middle of this week although i don't know what (actually i have an idea of what may have done it). As a result I've been sortof playing the role of a hermit (also because i was feeling like crap last week too literally) choosing to remain bymyself to sort myself out. This has been one of a couple things that have bugged me lately, the others i don't really care to discuss. But ya that was my rant and that was all i had planned to talk about tonite because otherwise nothing really noteworthy has happened. So i guess the question is now, what do I do to alleviate this problem.......well i really only have two choices on the matter....i can either A) try to either force-feed myself some confidence to see if i can change the mentality instead of letting it fester up or B) try to remove the source of doubt...........In this case i think i go A because to try to go B would be ridiculously hard because although i said i may have an idea of what caused the big spike in negativity in myself, I think it only brought the negativity of what was going on in my head to the forefront. In other words it may have only been a catalyst of something bigger.
Random Things.....
- Well since my blog is now 4 years old (or is it 5?), i think i may try to incorporate something new into the heading of my blog........as of now i have song of the day, currently feeling, and then i usually alternate picture of the day with this day in history......well i thought about it and i may start putting up memory of the day. This isn't date related but just something that day that may have remembered. Like a good one was a couple days ago when i played madden, i actually had two........When i used to play madden '92 with my cousins in CA and i remember there was something called "jet blitz" which guaranteed a blocked kick everytime. The other memory would be string along adam when he first started playing madden....i would always beat him soundly but i would leave enough of a gap to keep him interested in getting better.....lol i tried something similar with paul but i think he just gave up plus i don't think sports games is his thing.
Currently Feeling- Not Sure
Wow, it's been 5 years since the 9/11 attacks. It doesn't seem that long ago......I remember waking up for school and normally i don't watch tv before going to school but that day i did and i really couldn't quite comprehend what exactly was going on that day. Now 5 years later, our country has really changed in terms of their policies and for some people, how they live their lives has drastically changed. Anyways my intention is not to go political on this, but i just wanted to say something on it. I'm not one for patriotism and although i don't agree with everything that has gone on for the past 5 years since 9/11 I do wish to pay my respects for the men and women who lost their lives either as a victim or trying to help others in the aftermath of the attack.......
now after writing that and kinda remember all of that, everything i wanted to say just seems kind of trivial but alas i'll go on with it anyways......hmmmm actually i'm quite fortunate to come across that statement because it kind of links something i wanted to say. I've just noticed that sometimes some people have problems that end up coming to me, and sometimes ya to some people it can sound really trivial and not so important, but to that person........wow i just had deja vu like i wrote that same thing some time before.....lol so maybe i won't say it again haha.......
So let me get to the lack of updates........just been either kind of busy or haven't been in the mood to write. It hasn't been a good week.....and it's not like "oh i had a bad week because this went wrong and that went wrong".......i actually wish it was that type of bad week because you know that eventually things go your way......no actually it's one of those bad weeks where i can't really single specific events out (although i actually could as well) but rather it's more of a mentality thing for me. By that i mean i'm very confidence driven........when my confidence is high, the moral is up and things for me come easier and i handle situations. However, when my confidence is low, i tend to crumble easily (figuritively speaking...). Unfortunately, my ultimate flaw that i see in myself constantly is my frail confidence. I don't always portray that image to people but certain things can trigger doubt and negativity towards myself. And I'm not just talking in one specific areas, i mean as a whole. If you wanna look academically, I sometimes aim low so that i don't get dissapointed if i get something low. That shows a contradiction to my personality, because although i may set my bar there, i know that i could do better. Or you could look at academics in another light, i've never taken failure well, so when faced with situations i'm not sure i can face, i decide to not face it. This mentality does not stop merely at the academic level but also trickles down to every facet of my personality. This mentality issue sort of hit a peak during the middle of this week although i don't know what (actually i have an idea of what may have done it). As a result I've been sortof playing the role of a hermit (also because i was feeling like crap last week too literally) choosing to remain bymyself to sort myself out. This has been one of a couple things that have bugged me lately, the others i don't really care to discuss. But ya that was my rant and that was all i had planned to talk about tonite because otherwise nothing really noteworthy has happened. So i guess the question is now, what do I do to alleviate this problem.......well i really only have two choices on the matter....i can either A) try to either force-feed myself some confidence to see if i can change the mentality instead of letting it fester up or B) try to remove the source of doubt...........In this case i think i go A because to try to go B would be ridiculously hard because although i said i may have an idea of what caused the big spike in negativity in myself, I think it only brought the negativity of what was going on in my head to the forefront. In other words it may have only been a catalyst of something bigger.
Random Things.....
- Well since my blog is now 4 years old (or is it 5?), i think i may try to incorporate something new into the heading of my blog........as of now i have song of the day, currently feeling, and then i usually alternate picture of the day with this day in history......well i thought about it and i may start putting up memory of the day. This isn't date related but just something that day that may have remembered. Like a good one was a couple days ago when i played madden, i actually had two........When i used to play madden '92 with my cousins in CA and i remember there was something called "jet blitz" which guaranteed a blocked kick everytime. The other memory would be string along adam when he first started playing madden....i would always beat him soundly but i would leave enough of a gap to keep him interested in getting better.....lol i tried something similar with paul but i think he just gave up plus i don't think sports games is his thing.
posted by James at
9/11/2006 08:42:00 PM
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