Plan JAM

Well I'm feeling much better. I wasn't feeling so great because of the whole Paul thing once again. I guess something someone said last nite made it all resurface again. That coupled with the fact that I had the whole day today to let it soak in wasn't good. hmmm I'll try to get out what's bothering me out completely since when I talked to Steph she said I need to get rid of that thought instead of just burying it. Yeah but before I let it all out, yeah Tawni called cuz I guess she read my blog. I didn't want to tell her cuz I didn't want her to start thinking about it again so instead Steph got on the phone and she brought out the fact that I owed her a talk on the mountain. So I did talk to her about it and she gave me that advice. I then talked her about something else that I can't say cuz it's a big secret (Plan JAM). But just to let u all know Plan JAM is different from plan J, and Plan JA. Tawni seemed a bit upset but I didn't want to talk to her about it while she was working. I stayed for about an hour, oh yeah Jason called during Steph and my talk. lol it was funny..... Anyways I guess what I've been feeling lately has been the feeling of being replaced.....I dunno Tawni and Paul are getting closer and I understand that cuz they are boyfriend and girlfriend, I just have a feeling that I'm not needed around as much and I dunno maybe I'm right but that should be a good thing for Tawni. I dunno, it weird....and also I have been trying real hard to bury this whole thing with Paul but I just don't have it in me. I have two reasons for doing so. I know Paul's a good guy, I know that. But that's not really the reason why I'm trying to bury it. I guess one, I'm still not quite normal around him, and I know that if I'm going to hang out with Tawni, I want to be myself and not some other person and I'm gonna have to deal with the fact that if I'm gonna hang out with Tawni I'm probably gonna have to hang out with Paul. The other reason is that I know Paul means a lot to Tawni and Tawni means a lot to me so I think as a friend it should be in me to become at least aquantances with Paul. Yeah those who the reasons y I was so blue this morning but I picked up after Plan JAM. Hopefully it'll work cuz so far Plan J (CCS) and Plan JA (Katie) have crashed and burned like no other.

Anyways my plan for tonite is pool with Jason, Frank, Adam, Steph.

Random Thing.....

One other thing, I remember when Tawni said something about how you have to be realistic about high school relationships and how they just don't last past it, I've coupled that with what I said about if steph and jason broke up, I wonder who would still be friends. I really hope that if it does happen I can still be friends with Steph, cuz she's a really cool person and she's great to talk to.