Confusion

Song Of The Day - Air Supply - I Can Wait Forever
Currently Feeling - Weird

hmm... Well there has been plenty of weirdness going around since Fri. So I don't really know where to begin. Well I guess we'll start from the beginning, I found out last minute that we were going to Lake Havasu for the weekend. I knew I wasn't gonna have a signal without Roaming so I tried calling everyone to tell them I was leaving. I didn't get a hold of Tawni though. So I guess while I was gone some fucker decided to go under my name and say shit that wasn't true. The worst part about it was that I wasn't there to make any case against it. I'm pretty sure everyone who reads this already read it all. Anyways that combined with things already being weird between me and Tawni lately didn't help things. But I'll get to that later. Anyways so my fam went to Lake Havasu which I knew wasn't gonna be the best. Luckily Mark, Scarlet, Teza, and Scarlet's bf went to. They made it pretty enjoyable. Hmmm.....not much fun though, we hung out, on Sun they went to the Indian casino for 5 hrs. They were supposed to only eat there but one of my aunts won $100 so why stop???? Well after that I was too tired to go fishing so I stayed and watched movies with Barbie, Mark, Teza. Mary-Tes is the cutest baby.......I got a chance to talk to Tawni for a couple minutes but really didn't get anything solved. After that my couz Mark heard me and tried to give me some advise. But before I tell you what he said I should probably give you all a background on him. He's my couz and he's cool but he's the last person I would go to with Relationship advice. He got Teza pregnant at 19, he doesn't help out with the baby, he always has some half-cocked money scheme knowing that if he fucks up then his dad will cover him (he's a doc). Anyways I didn't really want his advice but he forced me to give him a brief description on the history between Tawni and me. So after it was all said and done I told him, she's my best friend and I love her as a friend so I wouldn't put her in an awkward situation. I've talked to her many times about this already.....and stuff like that.....his reply is screw friendship, it isn't anything, if you want something you take it, just tell her to choose and if she doesn't choose you, no loss, just move on........that's the worst thing I have ever heard in my life........Anywho yeah to sum it all up nothing interesting happened on the trip, but a hella lot of girls in bikini's......

Now when I got back I went to Frank's house where Adam and Frank were. We were supposed to go romping but I was late so it was scrapped.....they had a bbq instead.... Adam had to go to his house, while Frank and me stayed at his house....He reburned me Finch....afterwards Adam came back with Dusty and we went to shoot pool. We suck but what's new. Afterwards we went back to Adam's and we played live. I tried to call Tawni back but her voicemail kept picking up.

Well ok now onto the whole weird thing. Well ok earlier this week someone said something about me being replaced. Well I thought about it, and partly I think they were right. I dunno I mean I talked to Tawni about it for a minute before we got cut off but I still think deep down that sooner or later it will happen. The only thing that Mark really made me think about was when he said "they're gonna get closer, and pretty soon your gonna get cut out of the picture".......I dunno I feel that there's a lot of stuff I need to talk to her about but we always seem to talk to each other at bad times. Yeah overthinking is a bad thing...it makes you feel good at times when you think about some things but then new questions will always pop up. But this one has been there, but it took someone to bring it up to worry me cuz if they can see something, maybe it's happening, cuz I'm good at analyzing situations like this, but not when it's actually happenning to me. And that fuckin retard whoever the fuck he was, I don't care who u r, how dare u, bitch use my name. Just hope I don't find out who you are although I have my suspicions.

Plan JAM.......this is what I think is my hardest plan ever. It's gonna be hard timing everything and getting everything together, but I have Steph helping. I can't say what it's about but this plan probably means the most to me out of the three only cuz of the meaning to all of it.

Well I guess the only thing left to say is that Air Supply is coming on the 31st. There a 80's mellow rock group. They sang a bunch of songs I really like, I don't know if I'm gonna go by myself or not, cuz I can't find anyone willing to go with.