Song Of The Day - Amanda Perez - Never
Currently Feeling - Decent

Well yesterday kinda sucked, I woke up late and Frank decided not to wait so I didn't go X-Mas shopping. I chilled at home for a little bit then after church Adam wanted me to go to Long's house for dinner cuz he was having like a Church party. When we got there his dad kicked us out of the house and we had to eat in the 50 degree weather. Long's sis finally let us eat in the living room until the priest came then Long's dad came back and kicked us out yet again. We left and dropped by Mark's house to pick up the Emperor's New Groove. We went to my house also to pick up Shinobi then went to Adam's house and chilled there. After a couple hours he dropped us at our houses. I've hung out with Adam every day since winter break started. Anyways I got home at midnite and I forgot that I haven't eaten dinner so I grabbed the keys and my mom asked me to buy eggs. I brought Marianne since she had to go to the store also. We talked about my predicament and all the things I could do. I would feel bad if I went for a rebound girl, I can't still try for her but it's not like I can flip a switch and instantaneously not like her anymore. So what I came up with is I have to be patient and wait for either them to break up or if I can find a girl who can make me feel different. I also realized when talking with sis that she's different than every girl i've gone out with or liked. I mean she sets off something in me that makes me feel different. With everyone else it was at first sight and it triggered my feelings, but with her it was different, she changed my opinion about her, and it was a strong opinion (cuz of Ian) and she did it easily. I mean she's real cute but I don't like her cuz of her looks, its her personality that I'm attracted to. I've never fallen this hard for someone based on personality hell I don't think I've ever fallen this hard b4. And maybe it's that reason why I can seem to get this out of my head. This is why I'm sad and this is why I feel empty.

Sorry I didn't expect it to be that long, but I did create this blog to let my feelings out and hopefully make me feel better.

Random Things...

For today what I have planned is Adam's church potluck and LotR.

I had this dream, I was walking along Amber's house and I saw Tawni walking across the street so I go and talk to her. It felt like everything was back to normal. I wasn't worrrying about Paul and I definately wasn't feeling sad. Unfortunately it got interupted by a call from Amber. She just wanted to double check that I was gonna take care of her bunny from the 26th and 27th. I was surprised that she was awake at that time cuz I surely wasn't.


I think my parents went Christmas shopping yesterday. They told me right b4 I left that they had to buy soap.....heh seems normal enough although I don't think it takes 4 hrs to buy soap.

While were on the subject of Christmas shopping, I'm gonna buy Tawni a Christmas gift. I'm gonna get the teddy bear but i guess it's gonna have to be a friendship bear... Hopefully I can get it too her b4 Christmas though